


Me without you

by Lilly0



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: College, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-09-15 00:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 74,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9211790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/pseuds/Lilly0
Summary: Although they are both young students at college, both the youngest brothers within three, and both part of high society, there are worlds between Jun and Masaki. Jun comes from a rich, traditional and conservative family, while Masaki's family gained wealth and fame by luck. Masaki is cheerful and enjoys life to the fullest. Jun is unusually earnest and distanced. Although part of the same glamorous world, their paths would have never crossed, they would have never even talked, but then Masaki's brothers decide he needs to catch up with his studies, and hire Jun as his tutor. With being so different it seems they will never get closer, until they realize that they both hold a sad secret.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my friend yukitsubute, but bascially it's for all the Arashi-family and Junba (rare pair) shippers (no incest happening!) I had (and still have) a lot of fun writing this, and I wonder where it takes me to. I can promise you some fluff, some fun and some drama (the usual ^^) There is also some hurt & comfort.

Life’s wonderful. Like a gazillion rainbows. Like little kittens dressing up as unicorns. Like a nine-hour private Fast & Furious cinema viewing with free popcorn and coke and jelly. That’s how great it feels for Masaki. He is hundred percent convinced his life is perfect. It’s been five years that his oldest brother won the lottery and invested his money well, got a good job and was able to increase their wealth and money, and with his financial support his second oldest brother managed to hit it big as an artist. With money came a certain reputation to their family and the fact that people knew their name, and considered them as important. Gone were the days of tiny apartments and shabby clothes. They were kissed by luck and gladly his brothers were wise enough to invest it well and to also put parts of it into their education and work.

There is nothing essential missing. At least Masaki doesn’t feel like there is something lacking. He can do what he wants to, he can go where he wants to. He drives a Maserati motorcycle, he shares a huge three-floor penthouse with his two older brothers who he loves dearly. He can eat what he wants, when he wants and where he wants, is invited out to a party every night, and can shop as much as he wants. He just turned 19, and started his studies a few months ago. Being a student at university without any responsibilities, and rich on top of that, makes his life so comfortable.

~~~

“I can’t believe you are hiding in the kitchen!” Masaki complains when he finally finds Nino, sitting in the corner of the bench at the huge modern kitchen table, his DS in his hands and a bag of crisps in front of him.

“And I can’t believe that you dragged me to this party!” Nino argues.

“It’s my party, not any party.”

“There is alcohol, half-naked girls and guys and loud music.” Nino complains with a frown. “It means it’s like any party I normally don’t attend.”

Masaki chuckles lightly. “Thanks for coming though.”

“Just for you.” Nino sighs dramatically. “I’ll drown myself in whisky and try to pretend to have fun.”

“You could make out with someone,” Masaki points out innocently.

“Yeah, just that everyone in this apartment, except for the both of us, is bone-drunk already and won’t even realize it’s my lips they are kissing. And you know how high maintenance I am. I want to be cherished, not drooled at by a drunk ass.” Nino makes it sound like a joke, but deep down Masaki knows that’s exactly what he wants. Not be a drunk fuck, but be wooed by someone, asked out for a nice dinner in a charming way and be treated like a prince.

Masaki nods. “I’ll cherish you,” he offers.

“Yeah, but you don’t want to sleep with me,” Nino points out with a grin. “So it doesn’t count. But… thank you.”

In the living room Masaki can hear a group of his friends cheering. They have been playing a karaoke game while mixing fresh cocktails. Some guys already ordered Chinese food. They are having fun…

“Oh my god.” Nino laughs. “Just go! It’s your party, Masaki!”

“But I can’t leave you alone,” he points out. “You are my best friend.”

“Yeah, and you are mine. Be happy that you are the only person I really like and believe me, when I tell you: Go and party. I won’t be the annoying friend who ruins your party. I won’t forgive you if you turn me into that friend!”

“Fine,” Masaki gives in. He looks at Nino thoughtfully, then he smiles. “Why don’t you retreat into Satoshi’s room meanwhile?”

Nino’s head perks up. “Really?”

“Sure, he is not at home, and you can hide there without anyone finding you. You can even sleep there if you want to. His door has a key.”

Nino grins and squishes Masaki happily. “You are the best,” he chuckles, and grabs his bag and hurries to said room on the upper floor, obviously happy to be able to escape the loud party.

Masaki on the other hand goes back to the epicentre of the happening. He loves people, and huge gatherings, and parties and just being surrounded by others. It’s like others crave for chocolate, he craves for social contacts.

“Yo, Ma-sa-ki,” his buddy Kazama calls out from the sofa where he has joined a weird drinking game. “How about something to eat?”

Masaki grins, and waves his brother’s credit card. “Whatever you want, my sweet babies.”

The others laugh, and soon are engulfed in ordering an awful mess out of spicy and fat food, but Masaki doesn’t mind. He is happy when his friends are happy. He makes a mental note to take one pizza upstairs for Nino though.

He doesn’t know how long they drink and eat, and sing, but at one point Kazama is sucking at some hot chick’s lips, his junior at college Inoo makes out with someone Masaki doesn’t even know. And he suddenly finds himself in warm, tanned arms in one of his brother’s bedrooms. Not the one Nino is currently sleeping in of course. But two brothers mean two bedrooms. Comes in handy sometimes.

The guy’s lips are plumb and warm and he knows how to use them, sucking Masaki off skilfully, before Masaki spins them around and lies on top of him. It’s a certain Kamenashi something. He knows him from his business class. He unfortunately didn’t get his first name, but wow, he is so hot. He remembers remotely that the other kids in college fancy him a lot for his slender frame and pretty features, and fear him a little for having the claws of a wild cat.

“Say,” Masaki mumbles while he pushes against Kamenashi’s hips. “What’s your name?”

The guy laughs heartedly. “Kazuya. But call me Kame,” he grins. “You really are something, you know that? Only you could say something like that without getting hit.”

“You are cute,” Masaki muses, and means it.

“Yeah,” Kame grins. “But don’t expect anything.”

“Of course not.” Masaki smiles. He never expects anything. Especially not from a party one-night stand. But he finds that dude cute – in a weird twisted way – so maybe he could set him up with Nino? Or one of his friends?

He doesn’t have time to linger on this thought though as Kame pushes against his hips roughly, and it feels so freaking hot that his mind goes dizzy from the sensation. They reach their climaxes pretty soon, not minding that it’s messy and not really the best sex they had, as they are too drunk to be really skilful.

Kame snuggles against him later on. “You are too nice, Masaki-san.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m a complete stranger, still you invited me.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Masaki asks tiredly, already drifting to sleep. “You seemed like a cool guy, and we were in the same project group.”

“Yeah,” Kame snorts. “That’s why I came to this party. I didn’t want to get a bad reputation, besides I was happy about your invitation. However I hate parties normally. Next time let’s all go to a convention or a vernissage.”

Masaki giggles. No way. He doesn’t like art much. But a convention… it might be something for Nino. These two could go together…

Hmm… He drifts to sleep before he can think any further.

No, there is nothing missing. His life is good. Right?

 

~~~

 

To be honest Masaki has never expected that his life would change drastically or even a little bit.

This is until Sunday, afternoon, when he wakes up hangoverish from the party he threw last night. He woke up a few times before lunch, most of the people had already left, and the others left right before lunch. Nino left him a note, saying he would meet him later that evening. Masaki was gladly awake before Kame was though, and was able to escort him to the door. It was all casual and normal, like they didn’t have sex. Just like Kame said: Don’t expect anything.

Then Masaki went to sleep again. He hasn’t cleaned up yet, and there are bottles with alcohol and open boxes with the remains of pizza and all kinds of forgotten clothes from the people that made out… and Satoshi.

“You are here?” Masaki mumbles tiredly.

Satoshi glares, eyebrows furrowed in anger. “Yes, I obviously am,” he grumbles while he throws a red thong into the garbage with a disgusted look on his face and shoves a huge staple with empty pizza boxes aside. “Are these condoms there used?” he asks in horror.

“Thought you’ll come back tomorrow.” Masaki yawns, trying to focus. Fucking headache.

“Got off from work earlier than expected.” His brother shakes his head, his eyes wandering over the whole mess.

Masaki’s head perks up. “That’s great,” he exclaims excitedly, soon regretting this rash movement as the headache suddenly kicks in with full force. “I’m so happy you are here already! One week is too long for you to be away. We missed you. We can watch a movie together tonight. Nino’s coming too.”

Satoshi looks at him for a while, and all of a sudden his gaze softens. He sits down at a tiny empty space on the sofa table. “Masaki, I love you too, really. You are my cute younger brother…but…”

“But?” Masaki wants to know.

“But your life can’t continue like this!”

Satoshi has the temperament of a rock, he is calm and relaxed, and basically never gets worked up. He always says he is too lazy to be grumpy or mad at someone or something, but Masaki thinks that in reality he is just nice. For him to actually put a virtual knife against Masaki’s – his beloved little brother’s – neck is rare. But apparently it can happen… “We need to talk, Masaki. Get rid of the mess here, and we’ll all meet for dinner. No excuses. Family SOS meeting.”

~~~

 

Masaki rubs his head tiredly, while Shingo, his oldest brother, sighs deeply. “Why do I need to come? I didn’t party secretly. And when I do no one knows.”

Masaki hides a grin, while Satoshi throws him a reproachful glance. “You are the oldest brother,” he intervenes. “Take responsibility.”

“But Ma-chan is young.” Shingo argues. “We were the same when we were his age. Well… okay, when I was his age. You’ve always been old. And boring. Except for that one day when you had a gangbang-part-“

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Satoshi’s shoe hits him against his head. Masaki eyes his brothers curiously. What did Satoshi do?

“Okay, listen,” Satoshi sighs. “I know you are kind and good-hearted, and I know you love being social and you have lots of friends. And that’s awesome. We are happy that you are happy, and we are happy that you are this kind of guy. You are young, it’s okay to go out and party, but this is getting out of hand.”

Masaki sighs slightly. Is it? Really? “It’s not really going that much out of hand,” he argues. “Okay, I admit yesterday went overboard. I’m sorry for that, really! I’ll make it up to you.”

“How often did you party last week?” Shingo asks.

Masaki frowns, trying to remember. Well, on Monday he went to that new club opening. On Tuesday he went to a concert and then for a few drinks with his friends. Wednesday he and Toma wanted to give speed dating a try, they both landed in bed with two complete strangers and met for a very early breakfast afterwards. Thursday there was a college party – he didn’t even go to sleep. Friday one of his very wealthy friends threw a huge party – he had to go there. And Saturday, he threw a party… that was yesterday. He coughs. “Too often,” he admits quietly. “Listen, I’m sorry. I see what you mean. I’ll try to do better.”

“Hm,” Satoshi frowns.

“I promise!” Masaki says with emphasis. “Did I ever break a promise!? Don’t pretend like I’ve never stayed true to my word!”

Satoshi blinks, blushing slightly. “No, I’m sorry, that’s not why I’m so wary. I believe you. Just that…”

“What?” Masaki wants to know.

“You didn’t do a single exam this term, did you?”

Masaki blushes. “Well… I… went to one.”

“And didn’t pass?”

Masaki blushes even further. This is mean, really. It’s not like he fails on purpose. “Fine,” he grumbles. “I’m stupid. Are you happy now?”

Satoshi’s eyes widen. “No, that’s not what I meant, Masaki! You are not stupid. And none of us thinks you are!”

“Listen, little-brother-chan,” Shingo intervenes while chewing on a hot dog he prepared before. “What your horribly articulating brother means is that you were not taking your studies seriously enough, and now you are kind of having troubles with the huge amount you need to study. However, we’ll offer you a deal.”

“A deal?” Masaki asks.

“Yes.” Satoshi continues, smiling thankfully at Shingo. “You’ll catch up with your studies, and we’ll let you have all the freedoms you want as long as you show a little responsibility and keep your promise. Help us with the household, tell us when you go out so that we won’t worry. How about looking for a small job?”

“But…” Masaki blushes slightly. He doesn’t mind communicating with his brothers in a better, more mature way, or look for a small job. However, his studies… “How am I supposed to catch up?” he finally stutters. “I… missed quite a bit… and…”

“Don’t worry,” Satoshi smiles. “The younger brother of a friend is quite dedicated with his studies. My friend is the junior partner of a huge lawyer and counselling firm – you know, I used to work there before, and we became friends back then. His little brother is giving private lessons sometimes to gain some experience and money. He would be perfect. He is around your age, so it isn’t just anyone…”

“You want someone to tutor me?” Masaki asks in disbelief.

“Well, do you have a better idea?” Shingo asks.

No, unfortunately not. Masaki stays silent, not sure what to say. He has a lot on his mind, like how embarrassing it is to have someone tutor him and that none of his friends actually studies – not even Nino, he is just the type of guy that can pass exams without studying much, but… he knows it’s not a point his brothers would take and accept.

“So it’s set,” Satoshi decides heartlessly. “The guy’s name is Jun by the way.”

 

~~~

 

“Satoshi did what!?” Nino, the only person in the whole universe he truly trusts looks at him in shock. “He wants you to study!? Like… for real? At least twice a week!?”

“That’s the deal.” Aiba sighs. “He told me I can live my life the way I want. With two conditions: I should take some responsibility and look for a small job, and accept one of his friends’ little brother to tutor me.”

“God… the part with the job is okay,” Nino muses. “You can get some extra money, but the tutoring? Ugh, if at least they would let you study alone! Now you have to learn together with an ugly, boring dude.”

“He could be nice,” Masaki tries to argue half-heartedly.

“Boring,” Nino intervenes with a frown. “Isn’t he from a super-traditional family? He will look down on all of us. Probably a stuck-up dude with glasses, who only thinks about school. I think I need to puke.”

Masaki sighs. “We should think about a way to get me out of this.”

Nino snickers. “Believe me, I’ll think of something.”

Masaki lets his head hang down while he mixes a smoothie for Nino. His brothers went out, Shingo to work, Satoshi to meet with said friend who has an annoying ugly younger brother who should tutor him. “I just don’t want to fail them,” he admits in a small voice.

Nino sighs deeply. “Masaki-kun,” he says earnestly. “They have never been disappointed of you. They love you, and respect you. How often do you hang out with each other?”

“A lot,” Masaki admits quietly.

“And do you laugh with each other?”

“Yes.”

“Can you talk with them about your problems? And do they tell you things?”

“Sure.” Masaki smiles.

“And you can still go out and have fun with your friends, right, even after that crazy party yesterday?”

Masaki nods. “Yes. They are so supportive.”

“See,” Nino grins. “Don’t be silly. We’ll find a way to get you through the next exams, and to dump that idiot who is going to waste your time twice a week.”

 

~~~

 

It’s a cold night, almost freezing. Jun shivers slightly while he handles the newly installed home control system. He switches on the floor heating and lets the curtain close in front of the huge window front of their house.

Better.

He has just eaten and cleans up everything properly now. He carefully puts the freshly made gyoza on a plate and wraps some plastic around it, before he puts it into the fridge. He has cooked himself some dinner, leaving the leftovers for his oldest brother. He is working a lot recently, and he hardly sees him. He might be hungry when he comes home so why not leave him something to eat.

“Nothing for me?”

Jun spins around in surprise. He hasn’t heard his other older brother come home. He must have been caught in his thoughts and work, and not realize how the door opened. Plus, he is home earlier than he expected him to be.

Jun frowns. “You went for dinner, Sho-san,” he says earnestly.

His brother sighs, and puts his shoes into the cupboard, before he loosens his tie slightly. “It was a joke, Jun.”

Jun rolls his eyes, carefully behind his brother’s back because if he sees it, he will scold him for not being respectful enough, and then they might get into an argument again, and he seriously has no motivation at all to argue.

“Didn’t you write an exam recently? Weren’t the results due today?” Sho wants to know all of a sudden.

Jun nods, angling for the paper he has left on the table. His business class had a major exam, and he has studied like crazy for it. There were a lot of difficult mathematical questions, and he is actually a bit proud that he did so well and could solve them all. He just made two small mistakes, and still came off as the best of his class. Well, his brother is a super-brain unfortunately, so Jun is not really surprised when Sho just nods a bit, and says something along the lines of “You are getting better.”

Jun puts the paper away, and fetches himself something to drink. He knows his brother doesn’t mean anything bad. He is just the way he is. At least he isn’t scolding Jun for mistakes he does, or punishes him for not so good exams. His facial expression and the lack of words still say a lot sometimes. Jun just wishes he would be smarter and better, and more talented, like his brothers.

Jun coughs. “I’m going to my room,” he says.

Sho nods, already taking the newspaper in his hands. When Jun is about to walk out of the room, he hears his voice again though. “Wait a moment, Jun, I almost forgot.”

“Did something happen?” Jun wants to know.

“Well, I met a good friend tonight. Satoshi.” his brother explains. “And he told me his little brother has major problems with his studies. He somehow missed a few exams and classes, and now he has no chance to catch up with them by himself. Satoshi-kun told me to ask you if you want to tutor him.”

Jun blinks in surprise. “I should tutor him?”

His brother nods. “It would be a nice chance for you to earn some extra money, besides it can help you with your own studies as well, to revise some stuff.”

“I guess…” Jun stutters, generously ignoring the hint Sho gave him about studying more himself.

“Satoshi will pay you well,” his brother continues and hands him a post-it with so-said Satoshi’s phone number. “Twice a week for two hours. What do you say?”

Jun doesn’t have much motivation to tutor anyone. He has only worked with younger kids up to now, because they are easier to handle. But someone his age? He is not patient enough to deal with other people’s shortcomings. He has never met Satoshi before, only heard about him from Sho, and he knows his family got a lot of money over the last years. There is nothing wrong with that, and he is sure this Satoshi is a decent guy, but Jun knows how the guys his own age deal with sudden wealth… when all doors to important social parties and festivals are open suddenly. This little brother of Satoshi is for sure just a stupid idiot who drank so much that he ruined some of his brain cells, or maybe fucked around so much that he caught some sort of disease. Jun knows these rich kids. His own family is very wealthy too, rich by birth, but they have always been eager to show class and tradition. But most of his rich co-students are completely different. Sex, alcohol and parties. That’s all.

Still… tutoring someone would get him some extra money. And he finds the atmosphere at home somewhat dragging, so… it could be a change from reality.

“I’ll do it,” Jun says with a firm nod, and takes a look at the information on the little paper. Masaki. The guy’s name is Masaki.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some glimpses into Jun's awkward family and Masaki's fun one. Jun and Masaki try to set a date for their first meeting.

_Hello!_  
 _It’s Jun. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Masaki-san. My brother gave me your number. I’m supposed to help you with your studies, so, please tell me three days and times when you are free, and I’ll try to comply with your schedule._  
 _Until then, stay well._  
 _Jun_  
  
Masaki almost spits his tea out again. He feels awkward almost immediately, not because the message is unfriendly or cold or anything, but because it’s so freaking polite that he knows he can only fail when he answers it. Because… how the hell is he supposed to answer this message in an appropriate way? Three dates? And Jun will choose one? What were they? Lawyers? Heart surgeons?  
  
What a weird way to voice a simple message. Is that guy really his age? It looks more like something a middle-aged politician would write.  
  
Masaki chuckles lightly, and puts his phone aside for now. He needs to think about how to approach this message, but for now he needs something to eat. No thinking without food! He meets Satoshi at the kitchen table for breakfast. All of them are pretty social eaters, and like to be around someone when they have breakfast or dinner or even lunch. It happens occasionally that Shingo comes home later, and Masaki and Satoshi – although they might have eaten already – will join him. To talk and chat together, to play stupid card games, or to eat a second dinner.  
  
Satoshi eats traditional miso soup and rice with vegetables for breakfast while Masaki pours himself some chocolate cornflakes and milk. “You eat too much garbage,” Satoshi complains lazily.  
  
Masaki grins. “And you are eating too much. Your cheeks are so pinchable right now.”  
  
“Bratty little brother,” Satoshi chuckles.  
  
“Say…” Masaki muses after a while.  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“That Sho-san, the friend of yours, how is he?” Masaki asks, trying to sound as casual as possible. Maybe when Satoshi tells him something about this ominous Sho-san, he knows how to approach Jun. “I’m just curious.”  
  
“He is nice,” Satoshi explains simply. He never wastes too many words to describe someone or to answer something, which is probably why he always sounds honest. “A little earnest. Sometimes comes off as stiff. But he is not a bad guy. I like him, always did. He is honest.”  
  
“And how is this Jun-san?” Masaki asks further.  
  
Satoshi smiles sympathetically. “Worried?”  
  
“A bit.”  
  
His brother smiles warmly. “Ma-chan, I’m sorry, Sho-san doesn’t share many private things in general. When it’s about his upbringing and the older generations of his family he closes up completely. But sometimes he will talk about his two brothers, never says anything bad. I’m sure this Jun is a nice guy.”  
  
Masaki nods tentatively. “Maybe.”  
  
“What are you truly worrying about, Masaki?”  
  
Masaki sighs deeply. “Honestly?”  
  
Satoshi nods.  
  
“What if that dude hates me? He just wrote me a message, and it’s perfectly polite and all, but so stiff and so polite that I can almost see a stoic expression in front of me. You know, I’m not serious or stoic at all, and I have problems with these important, traditional gatherings. It seems like Sho-san’s family is used to it though and lives it on an every-day basis.”  
  
“They are traditional and conservative,” Satoshi agrees with a tentative nod. “I know that tradition means a lot to Sho at least. Their family has a huge stand in the upper class since centuries. I think Sho-san’s older brother even attended the wedding of Kate and William.”  
  
Masaki lets the words sink in, before his eyes snap open. “You mean the British Prince? And Kate as in his wife and-“ He pauses, frowning slightly. "You are making fun of me, aren't you!?"  
  
“Yep. Did it work?”  
  
Masaki laughs. “A bit. But Sa-chan, I’m bad with this! You know it, I’m bad with traditions and politeness codex and-“  
  
Satoshi smiles sleepily. “Masaki, you are okay. _I_ am bad at it because I’m so slow in my reactions. You and Shingo on the other hand are fun and casual and don’t overanalyse it normally, and you sell your attitude well. Look at how often Shingo gets invited to the real important events. Do you think he comes there, wearing a kimono, bowing and speaking like he is still living in the Middle Age?”  
  
Masaki grins. Funny thought, really. He can rather imagine Shingo waltzing into the room, yelling a hello and clasping his friends’ shoulders. He would probably give a shit about formality and word choice, and just be himself. “Not at all,” he answers.  
  
“See?” Satoshi takes another spoon full of rice. “And you are the same.”  
  
Hmmm, really? “Any advice, Satoshi?”  
  
“You are worrying too much, Ma-chan.” Satoshi eyes a piece of tofu like he is in love with it. This family really likes to eat. “You get along with just anyone, right? It’s your strength! If you really won’t get along with Jun-kun in the beginning, I’m sure you will find a way to get through to him. It’s your talent.”  
  
“What’s my talent?” Masaki asks in sincere surprise.  
  
Satoshi winks. “If you are really so oblivious about it, you have to find it out yourself.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
“You said his name is Jun, right?” Kazama rustles with some sheets of paper. They – together with Nino – have met in the little coffee shop Masaki managed to get a job at. It’s cosy, and small, and serves all kinds of special coffee – like with pumpkin and cute little toppings. Also they have a coffee-shop mascot, a little dog, and Masaki took over the task to take him out sometimes. He is only working there a few hours a week, and it’s surprisingly fun. It’s even more fun because Nino started to work there too.  
  
“Super-rich,” Nino muses. “Even  more than your own family, Masaki. That older brother of his, the one that is Satoshi’s friend, has to be this Sho. He is the junior partner of one of _the_ law firms in town.”  
  
“The other brother, the oldest,” Kazama continues “is even creepier. He owns the private news channels. Apparently the family business.”  
  
“The news channels?” Masaki blinks. “Like all of them?”  
  
“All the important ones. He is also in politics, I don’t know his position though. Something with finances,” Kazama continues. “Ugh, scary. He seems to be a quite tough guy.”  
  
Masaki lets out a sigh. Why again does it have to be a member of this family he has to spend some time with from now on and study with? He almost fears Jun will swing a whip in case he is too stupid to answer a question. He is about to say something when a slender frame comes through the door. “Ah,” Masaki’s head perks up. “That’s Kame!”  
  
Nino blinks. “Kamenashi-kun? The pretty guy? The little bitchy diva? The-“  
  
“He is a good person,” Masaki interrupts him.  
  
“Everyone is a good person for you,” Nino complains. “How do you even know him?”  
  
“He is in one of my classes, and we had a project together. I invited him to my party. Oh, and we made out there. Decided to stay friends afterwards.” Masaki jumps up and waves at Kame. “Kame-kun,” he calls out. “Come and join us!”  
  
Kame looks up in surprise, eyeing them for a moment, obviously wavering. Masaki grins. “Since when are you so shy~” he asks teasingly. “Don’t expect anything?”  
  
Kame laughs all of a sudden and takes his tray to join them.  
  
“You really like to collect stray cats, do you?” Nino asks. It sounds like he wants to be sarcastic, but his tone is too soft, and Masaki shrugs it off.  
  
When Kame has joined them, and Masaki has introduced him to the others, they soon relax around each other and start to pick up the previous topic. “So, your brother wants you to get tutored?” Kame muses. “And the guy that should do it is super annoying?”  
  
“I don’t know if he is supposed to be annoying,” Masaki explains. “But he seems to be so serious. The whole family is.”  
  
“What’s his name?”  
  
“Jun,” Masaki frowns, going through the documents. “The one from the Kimura-family clan and-“  
  
“WHAT!?” Kame spits out his coffee in the most non-chalant way ever. He coughs like madly, thankfully accepting the handkerchief Kazama hands him. “Matsumoto-san!?”  
  
“Matsumoto?” Nino blinks in confusion. “I thought the family’s name is Kimura.”  
  
“He carries his mother’s name,” Kame explains, his eyes still teared up from all the coughing. “He is the half-brother. The father divorced his first wife and remarried. That’s why the age-gap to the oldest brother is so big. He is even a bit older than Shingo-san.”  
  
Masaki grins. “Our parents were just so much in love that they couldn’t wait with making a child. That’s why Shingo is so much older than I am,” he explains with a grin before he is all earnest again. “Do you know the family?”  
  
“Not directly, but you are right, they are very well-known in the public.”  
  
“And you know, Jun-san?” Nino asks curiously.  
  
“He is in one of my classes,” Kame explains.  
  
“Ah, so you do know him!” Aiba’s head perks up. Finally some good insider information.  
  
Kame tilts his head. “No one really knows Jun-san,” he explains quietly. “He only surrounds himself with a few very good friends. Everyone else he keeps on distance. He is nothing but polite, but he keeps his distance to everyone. Hardly ever smiles.”  
  
“Is he scary?” Kazama wants to know.  
  
Kame tilts his head. “He is very controlled,” he says after a while, carefully.  
  
Nino nods thoughtfully. “I heard the same from a friend.” He leans forward a bit, and all of a sudden it feels a bit like they are four old ladies meeting at their doctor’s place and talking about conspiracy theories. “Do you see the guy at the counter, the one with the dark hair and the new iPhone in his hands?”  
  
They all nod.  
  
“That’s Oguri. Apparently he is Jun’s best friend. There is a girl around them too sometimes. Seems like they are Jun’s only close friends. Oguri is also pretty serious. Seems like it’s contagious.” He grimaces, and points at Masaki with his fork. “Don’t dare to become as boring as they are. I swear, I’ll personally haunt you if you do.”  
  
Masaki chuckles. The chances of him changing completely are pretty dim, he knows that. Jun and his surroundings though… it scares him, but at the same time it makes him curious. He glances at said-Oguri. He looks good, has dark hair, and soft features. But although his features look soft, he has a serious expression. He is dressed pretty formally. If Nino and Kazama are right, it means that this family is really weird.  
  
“Are they all like that?” Nino frowns. “God, in comparison to them my family is pretty normal. This though my mother does wrestling in her free time, and my father plays Pokémon Go.” He bites into his sandwich and hums happily. “I’ve read quite some rumours about the family by the way.”  
  
“Like what?” Kazama asks curiously  
  
“The father isn’t alive anymore. Seemed to be a difficult guy. Now that the oldest brother reigns, the situation got a lot better for everyone working in the family business.”  
  
Masaki lets out a sigh. “Okay, to be honest, I’m not sure if I'm feeling better now.”  
  
“Did you answer his message already?” Nino wants to know.  
  
Masaki shakes his head. “Will do it later. For now… can’t we just… I don’t know, go to the amusement park or something like that?”  
  
“Oh, yes,” Kame chirps.  
  
“Karaoke?” Kazama asks hopefully.  
  
“No,” Nino whines, but when Masaki grins at him and tugs at his sleeve playfully, making puppy eyes, he gives in too. “Fine, let’s go and sing, and embarrass ourselves.”  
  
Masaki nods, and chuckles. Before they leave though, he throws a last glance at Oguri. “Jun-san never smiles?” he asks Kame once more.  
  
Kame nods.  
  
“Why doesn’t he smile?” Masaki frowns. “Everyone should smile!”  
  
~~~  
  
  
Jun looks at the suit the shop assistant shows him. The trouser is rather tight, and in a thicker  material, perfect for this time of the month, the shirt has purple buttons and is in a silky white. The coat is in the same colour of the shirt’s buttons – a pretty elegant darker purple. There is some black embroidery on the collar and the hem of the coat. He has to join a dinner party soon, as his oldest brother is one of the guests of honour, and he and Sho obviously have to attend too. Apparently there is even going to be a dance.  
  
“It’s mostly out of silk,” the woman explains to him, while he touches the fabric thoughtfully.  It’s very elegant, and he likes the colour. He feels too young to dress all in black and white, and he needs to be dressed in way that he will both be elegant and interesting enough.  
  
“What do you say?” he asks Kiko, one of his best friends. She is the daughter of an old business partner of his father. They basically grew up together.  
  
“It looks sophisticated, and yet fashionable and young.” She nods in approval. “How about you try it on?”  
  
Jun nods. “That’s probably a wise idea,” he muses, and nods towards the shop assistant. “May I?”  
  
She bows politely. “Of course, please follow me, Sir.” She leads him through the separated part of the shop. They have closed the second floor for him today, while the normal customers can use the first floor.  
  
He tries it on a few times, because the young lady decides the trouser doesn’t fit perfectly and changes it with one of a stretchier material. “It looks very fine on you, Sir,” she nods in approval, obviously happy to have found the perfect pair of trousers for him.  
  
Kiko grins when she sees him. “She is right,” she jokes. “That butt!” She gropes his butt playfully.  
  
Jun chuckles and smacks her hand away.  
  
He also tries on a pair of wine-red trousers with a black velvet coat and a wine-red shirt. It looks more casual, and if he wears the trousers with another shirt in a more casual fabric or colour, he can wear it on more casual occasions.  
  
“I think I will take the second outfit too,” he says. “Ties?”  
  
“A classic one would be too much,” the shop-assistant says. “You are a young man. How about you try to wear a very short tie, or a double string one. It’s still elegant, but underlines your youth.”  
  
“She is right,” Kiko agrees. “Maybe in the same colour of the coat.”  
  
“I would also recommend a cloth,” she says. “In case you want to mix your outfits with other jackets or shirts for other occasions, you will be happy to have another accessory than a tie.”  
  
Jun nods. “Sounds good to me. How about other accessories? Do you have male jewellery? I’m looking for a wristband and a ring that would fit the purple outfit. The ring should definitely be eccentric enough so that no one would take it for an engagement ring.” He pauses. “The price doesn’t matter,” he adds.  
  
While the lady and another assistant go to show him some items, Kiko leans back in one of the velvet chairs. “You’ll look dazzling. Most wanted bachelor of the party, believe me.”  
  
“Glad you accompany me,” Jun points out. “I don’t mind these events, but I’m tired of all the suggestive offers.” He sighs while he sits down next to her.  
  
Kiko chuckles and pokes his cheek. “Don’t sigh like that. And you can always go for a casual fling here and there. You are too serious, Jun-san. You have never dated someone.”  
  
“I have never liked someone enough,” Jun admits. “If I date, I want to really feel for that person. I want to be able to make this person smile.”  
  
Kiko’s round eyes get even rounder in surprise. “That’s why they want you,” she grins. “Because you say serious stuff like that.” She tilts her head playfully. “But I mean it, how about you try to smile here and there.”  
  
“I am smiling.”  
  
“Really?” Kiko blinks. “I know you forever, and I can’t remember you really smiley. How about you try to be silly sometimes, and make jokes. We could practise! Or maybe Shun-san knows some good joke.”  
  
“He is even worse than me or Sho-san,” Jun points out with a chuckle.  
  
“No matter how, try to be silly!”  
  
“Hm,” Jun muses, something inside his stomach twisting painfully. “I can’t remember how it is to be silly.”  
  
Kiko’s eyes widen, she looks shocked all of a sudden. “I’m so sorry, Jun-san,” she says. “I didn’t think properly. It’s-“  
  
“It’s okay,” Jun chuckles, grabbing her hand before she can accidentally knock down the expensive vase next to them. He isn’t quite sure how he would explain these expenses on his brother’s credit card then.  
  
He is glad that the two shop assistants return though. The last thing he wants to do is talk about his past. He nods in approval at the accessories they show him. The ring is in a dark, shimmering purple, whenever it meets light it sparkles. The wristband is obviously made in finest handicraft, and looks filigrane but manly at the same time. “What kind of stones are they?” he wants to know. He likes beautiful things and accessories, but it would be a lie to say that it makes him happy. It’s just… better than nothing.  
  
“Amethysts.”  
  
Jun smiles slightly. “How beautifully. I’ll take it, together with the ring. And now-“ He leans back with a little dramatic sigh, nodding towards Kiko. “We need an outfit for my company.”  
  
“I need to fit him colour-wise,” she explains, and grins. “I’m forced to accompany him although he knows not one single joke! Oh, and please help me to look at least somewhat close to his beauty,” she jokes.  
  
The shop assistant laughs, before she provides Kiko with the obvious compliments. It’s typical for Kiko to be able to make people smile and loosen up. He wishes he would be able to do that too.  
  
  
~~~  
  
It’s two hours later that Jun comes home with Sho’s chauffeur. While he carries the bags into the house, he meets one of the older maids. She bows politely at him. “Young master, do you want me to make you some tea?”  
  
Jun smiles at her. “No thank you. I’m fine.” He looks around. “Is one of my brothers at home?”  
  
She shakes her head. “Sho-sama was here for a short moment. He told me to remind you to of the memorial of your father tomorrow.”  
  
The memorial… The last place he wants to be. Seriously. His hands feel sweaty, and like he should consult his therapist… immediately.  
  
“I’ve prepared your best kimono. And also Sho-sama’s,” she continues, much to Jun’s relief. He doesn’t need to answer.  
  
Jun nods politely. “Thank you.”  
  
“Do you need something else, young master?”  
  
Jun shakes his head. “No, thank you. Please go home to your family, Miyazawa-san. Recently you are working longer than usual. I’m worried.”  
  
A rare warm smile lights up her face. “It’s not that long. I have always liked you three boys. Someone needs to watch out for you after all.”  
  
Jun blushes slightly. “Yes, maybe.”  
  
She twinkles. “The young master really grew up well. Sho-sama and Takuya-sama didn’t do a bad job.”  
  
Jun tilts his head. Did they? He has never wondered about his upbringing and who was responsible for him growing up. Jun forces a smile to his lips. “Thank you,” he says politely. “I’ll tell them.”  
  
He definitely won’t. That would be too embarrassing anyways. She smiles at him and nods, before she takes her leave. Once Jun is alone, it feels so silent. Without Kiko’s bickering and silly giggling, and without Shun, grunting something incomprehensible, and without Miyazawa-san bothering him with advice and questions, it’s so quiet.  
  
Jun hurries to his room in the third floor and switches on the sound system. So loud that he is sure the house vibrates from it. But it gives him a feeling of reassurance to hear the loud music and voices. He eyes the fabric lying on his bed… it’s the kimono Miyazawa-san prepared for him. His best one, the dark blue one out of silk. He puts his shopping bags to the side, and takes a closer look at it. It’s indeed pretty. Damn it, it’s just one day, a few hours, and then lunch, he can make it through it without slipping or without throwing himself from the roof.  
  
Jun sighs slightly, puts the kimono away – neatly of course, so that it won’t get dirty or wrinkly. Then he goes to the kitchen and takes a few vegetables, cutting them. He wonders if he should make hot pot. But hot pot… alone…would be pathetic, so he sets for some rice with fried vegetables.  
  
He takes the finished food, and his homework for his statistic class and sits down on the couch in the living room. He tries to concentrate on his work, although it’s difficult with the silence around him. Even through the music it’s still silent.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Masaki loves music, he has always liked it. When he was a kid he dreamed of playing piano or another sophisticated instrument, but they didn’t have any money. Once he got older – and Shingo suddenly won in lottery – he could fulfil his wish. However at that time he realized he wanted to learn other things, not the piano or something alike, so he went for drums. Unfortunately he was horrible. Hence he switched to saxophone and guitar. He is not perfect, but he loves making music. Funny, it’s what brought him and Nino together. Nino, who would never talk or look at anyone in school, but who opened up when making music.  
  
“Okay,” Nino’s body sways together with the crowd. “Sometimes I like your ideas!”  
  
“Told you, you would love it!” Masaki snickers.  
  
“Yeah, now I wished I would have left my book at home,” Nino admits with a grin and points at his obviously heavy bag. He is never leaving the house without his DS or a comic… or book. It’s a cute spleen he has. “Didn’t think I would have fun here.”  
  
Masaki chuckles. “Just admit it!” He tousles through Nino’s hair playfully. “I’m awesome.”  
  
“NEVER!” Nino retorts and slaps his hand away, and they both giggle.  
  
Masaki got tickets for a young, indie band. They are doing soft-rock music, many acoustic versions, and some of their songs are solely guitar solos. Now one of the dudes hammers on his piano while he drinks a few shots of tequila, he screams while doing it, and it’s almost a bit too silly, but still… weirdly fascinating.  
  
“How can he even produce decent sounds on his piano when he plays like this?” Nino complains. “I want to be so awesome!”  
  
“You are so awesome,” Masaki retorts, and to his surprise Nino blushes at his compliment.  
  
“Stop talking nonsense,” Nino stutters.  
  
Masaki smiles widely. “Let’s meet and make some music again soon,” he offers. “It feels like I haven’t touched my guitar since forever. What do you say?”  
  
Nino shows him one of his beautiful, honestly-meant smiles. The one that is without teasing. “Yes,” he agrees happily. “Let’s do it.”  
  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Jun wakes up to a rustling sound. He blinks in confusion. His neck hurts a bit, apparently he fell asleep on the sofa and the cushions aren’t perfect for sleeping on them. He is surprised that a blanket is covering his body though, the empty plate of his dinner was removed too, and there is no music filling the house anymore.  
  
His phone is blinking. When Jun eyes it, he sees a message. From this weird Masaki, his suggestions for their first meeting. One of them would be tomorrow. Jun sighs, well, he needs to take another date. Missing the memorial would be a no-go.  
  
He turns around slightly, eyeing a tall, slender frame, walking through the room. “Takuya-san?”  
  
“You are awake?” his oldest brother asks. “You shouldn’t fall asleep here, it’s cold.”  
  
“I was studying,” Jun explains.  
  
“Did you buy your outfit for the dinner party?”  
  
Jun nods, and grabs into his pocket. He hands Takuya his credit card. “Thank you, Takuya-san.”  
  
Takuya nods in approval while he takes it. “Go to bed, Jun,” he orders. “It’s cold and uncomfortable here, and you need your sleep.” He looks at Jun for a long while, there is something in his eyes that Jun can’t quite read. It’s freaking difficult to read Takuya anyway, still Jun admires him to a point that he even feels nervous around him sometimes. “About tomorrow. I’ve decided that Sho and I are attending the memorial. You don’t need to come.”  
  
Jun blinks in confusion. He has no motivation at all to go to the memorial, but not being invited to is, is… “You don’t want me to go?” he wants to know.  
  
Takuya’s blinks a bit in surprise, then his gaze softens. “It’s not like that. Of course we want you to join us, always. But it’s the fourth year, and it’s enough when one or two of us attend.” He frowns. “Besides, Miyazawa-san told me you always stay up late, studying,” he says earnestly. “You look pale and tired. I want you take your rest tomorrow, and do things slowly. It’s no help if you get sick.”  
  
Jun blushes slightly. Takuya is right. He shouldn’t overuse his strength. “Sorry. It was selfish of me to not consider my health.”  
  
“Not at all.” Takuya shakes his head. “But I want you to take it slow tomorrow. And now, go to bed. You look bone-tired.”  
  
Jun doesn’t want to argue or deny it. He could, but he doesn’t want to, because really, he feels so tired. He always feels tired recently, and he doesn’t understand why. When he passes the living room his gaze falls upon the piano there. Sho has just played something on it yesterday night. He is good at it – not that Jun would tell it to him though. Each of them has learned three instruments as kids, none of it really their choice. He doesn’t even know which instruments Takuya plays though, and if he still plays them sometimes.  
  
For a moment he walks to the piano, touching its surface lightly before opening the piano lid. It feels weird to touch it again. He was never good at playing – he just learned it because he had to. Just… it sounds so beautiful. The sound of the piano is the most beautiful ever; every music instrument is beautiful, but the piano is the most stunning one. It’s… Jun shakes his head vehemently, and closes the lid again. No, he is definitely not going to this emotional place again.  
  
He sighs when he lies down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He takes his phone again, looking at the message this weird Masaki sent him.  
  
 _Hola! ^_^_  
 _I’m really not that busy. How about tomorrow? Any time is okay, just not before 10 AM *hihi*. Or any other day of the week, except for Friday. My work day :P_  
  
 _See you, Masaki ^_^/_  
  
Jun shakes his head. Who actually sends a message like that? Is it really okay to be that informal when you don’t even know someone? He chews on his lip for a moment. Well, as he is free tomorrow anyway – and staying at home while his brothers suffer through the most hideous event of the year would be too pathetic – he can as well do something useful.  
  
  
 _Good evening, Masaki-san,_  
 _Thank you for your offer._  
 _I’ll pass by tomorrow then, Saturday 14 th, at 10 AM._  
 _Jun_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here is chapter 2. I don't know why, but I feel so nervous about this fic, like... before an exam. This though I love Junba, and I'm happy to write them, but probably it's because I have lots of plans for them here... *insertdramaticlaugh* Oh, and I promise they will meet in the next chapter!!  
> Oh, and Jun's second brother is Kimura *lol* I think he could totally pull off the serious older brother role. By the way, one of you suggested Higashiyama as Jun's older brother - I already settled for Kimura at that time, because I 'know' him better, and there is already Shingo. But I like the thought of somehow putting him into the story (I don't know where yet, but I will.)  
> It feels like Jun's family is pretty stiff around each other, right? It's like, what the oldest clan member says, counts the most. While the Masaki-family is totally casual.  
> Hm, and we haven't really talked about why they are all living alone, have we?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this <3 *I-should-stop-talking-so-much*


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet, finally. So, how will it go? We also have some Junxbrothers and Masakixbrothers family time.

Masaki attends a concert on Friday evening, but remembering his promise to his brothers he decides not to get drunk afterwards and instead return back home right after the concert ends. Shingo however looks at him in horror.  
  
“Who are you?” he exclaims dramatically.  
  
Masaki blushes. “Don’t be so stupid,” he grumbles.  
  
Satoshi giggles and turns around on the sofa. He is lying on his back now, his head hanging down from the edge of the sofa, while he looks at a picture he has painted. He has such an admirable talent. No one would believe that a lazy and droopy guy like him could paint and produce are. “It’s not 4AM yet, we are just surprised to see you home so early.”  
  
“Unbelievable,” Shingo cries out, eyes widened in a ridiculous way. “Are you sick? Possessed from an alien? We need to heal you!”  
  
Masaki grabs a pillow and hits Shingo’s shoulder with it. Before he can hit him once more, Shingo has grabbed the pillow though and they both tug at it. At one point they drop to the floor, both of them giggling like madly.  
  
“Anyone ice-cream?” Satoshi asks from the sofa.  
  
“YES!” Shingo exclaims.  
  
“Fine,” Satoshi mumbles lazily. “Are you making some for all of us?”  
  
“You just offered it,” Shingo complains. “I can’t believe you are so lazy! Move your own butt.”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
Masaki grins. “Did you two drink?”  
  
“We only had two glasses of wine,” Shingo explains. “Or maybe five. Celebrated the successful wrap-up of my last project.” He grins. “Good you came home earlier! We can still eat and party together.”  
  
“Let’s play twister,” Masaki grins cheekily. “I’ll so win against you!”  
  
His brothers’ competitive side is awakened almost immediately. “Oh, little brother-chan,” Shingo snickers. “You need to get up earlier to win against your awesome older brother.”  
  
Satoshi snorts. “Age does not qualify you for winning. I’m half your size, and can move easier.”  
  
“Great,” Masaki exclaims. “I’ll get us the ice-cream, you prepare the game!”  
  
“With whipped cream and chocolate,” Satoshi demands. “And with warm fruits!”  
  
“If you find cookies, put some on top of it,” Shingo says.  
  
“Fine,” Masaki giggles.  
  
“And pour some cherry liquor over it.” Shingo winks. “We are not drunk enough yet for twister.”  
  
All three of them laugh, and Masaki hurries to prepare the promised ice-cream. He is happy that he returned home earlier than usual on a Friday evening. He originally wanted to go to sleep earlier because he has to meet this Jun-san tomorrow at 10AM. But spending some quality time with his brothers is just too alluring. He giggles while he puts a lot of chocolate topping on their ice cream. It’s going to be a fun evening.  
  
  
~~~  
  
“Do you want another cup of tea?” Masaki asks almost shyly.  
  
Jun shakes his head. “No thank you,” he says without even looking up from their books.  
  
Masaki still needs time to recover. A lot of time. He has managed to drag himself to the bathroom before 10 AM, showered, and changed into somewhat acceptable clothes. Jun came in time. On point. Right when Masaki put on his sweater, relieved that he managed to be ready in time, someone rang at the door.  
  
He was so sure that Jun would be some ugly, annoying creep but to his shock he finds a pair of intense dark eyes resting on him while he tries to solve his first task, and two prominent eyebrows furrowing and raising whenever he says or does something. Kame was right though, he is never smiling. Never. Actually he isn’t showing many emotions at all. Which means… he is kind of creepy, but in an almost alluring way. Masaki is just not sure if he wants to dive more into Jun’s personality – he seems to be freaking difficult.  
  
Masaki tries his hardest to comply and to follow what Jun tells him. This is probably the last guy he wants to piss off. He looks so serious that Masaki is sure he would win an award if there was one. He has only accepted a cup with tea when he came to Masaki’s place, and although Masaki has prepared cookies for the both of them, hoping they could chat a bit and get to know each other, Jun doesn’t even touch one.  
  
Jun raises his head. “You are not listening to me,” he says with a deep frown.  
  
Masaki can’t help a laugh. “Sorry,” he smiles brightly. “I was concentrating so much on being concentrated that I forgot to concentrate. Does that make sense?”  
  
Jun raises his thick eyebrows. “No,” he says calmly.  
  
God, does that guy even change his expression sometimes?  
  
“Why is it that you missed so many classes?” Jun wants to know all of a sudden.  
  
“I partied too much,” Masaki answers honestly.  
  
Jun’s eyes widen in obvious surprise. “What?”  
  
Oh, dear, sure, he forgot he talks to the most serious person in universe. “Party,” he explains, slowly losing his patience. He can’t with these guy’s dark eyes and the way he looks at him with this unreadable expression. “When you meet your friends and hang out with them. And have fun… in case you know what I mean.”  
  
Jun pulls his gaze away all of a sudden. “I know the meaning of the word party,” he explains quietly, and much to his surprise Masaki feels a bit bad all of a sudden.  
  
“I didn’t mean to say,” he stutters. “That you don’t party, or don’t have any friends, or…” Fucking shit, what the hell is he saying now!? He is making matters worse!  
  
“I was just surprised by your answer,” Jun interrupts his stuttering. His somewhat uncertain expression is away again, and back is his stoic one. “I didn’t expect you to be so honest.”  
  
“What? You thought I would lie to you?” Masaki chuckles.  
  
“Of course,” Jun answers. “Anyone would lie about something like that.”  
  
Masaki shrugs. “I’m not anyone,” he says. “And I hate liars. Everyone knows the truth anyways, why should I hide it?”  
  
“And your brothers don’t mind?”  
  
“Not at all.” Masaki smiles brightly. “Shin-chan is actually the king of partying himself. He just advised me to find a good middle-way. That’s our deal. I’m going to try to find a good path for myself.” He looks at Jun curiously. “You are on top of your classes, right? I bet you are super-duper-smart. You really like studying?”  
  
Jun looks at him for a long while, his eyebrows scrunched together. Then he relaxes them slightly. “I do what’s expected,” he answers.  
  
Masaki tilts his head. What’s that supposed to mean? It seems like Jun won’t give him any real answer to his questions. “Are you always answering so cryptically?” he asks curiously.  
  
Jun points at Masaki’s book. “Let’s go back to your physics class. I don’t visit that many science classes, but I have quite some math classes, so I guess I can help you with them. What’s your plan for you future? Do you want to become a scientist?”  
  
“I want to cure cancer!” Masaki exclaims full of motivation, and means it.  
  
Jun looks at him in a mixture of annoyance and surprise. “What? That’s your goal? You mean, you want to become a doctor?”  
  
“I want to cure illnesses and help desperate people,” Masaki answers, trying not to roll his eyes. “Yes, I want to become a doctor who never loses hope,” he continues to explain. “I can’t believe I almost lost track of my dream the last year.”  
  
He expects Jun to say something sarcastic again, but much to his surprise, Jun just looks away from him and something in his eyes flickering for a moment. “Well then, let’s start with physics,” he says. Masaki isn’t quite sure what to think about this weird guy, it’s not even like Jun is unfriendly or anything, he is just distanced and doesn’t seem to even want to get to know him. Okay, it’s his job to tutor Masaki, but wouldn’t it hurt to at least try to like him?  
  
  
~~~  
  
Nino joins him and Shingo later for dinner. “How was it?” Nino asks curiously, smiling happily when Shingo provides him with a huge plate with pasta.  
  
“I’m still trying to find the right words,” Masaki muses.  
  
“Is he an ugly creep?” Nino giggles.  
  
Shingo laughs heartedly. “Is that what you thought he would be just because he is good with his studies?” He chuckles in amusement. “How I wish I would be 18 again.”  
  
“I secretly made a photo,” Masaki says dryly, and shows his phone to Nino. He took it in a moment when Jun dropped his pen and was distracted by searching for it. He enjoys the look of shock in Nino’s eyes a little too much. “Yeah, I was surprised too,” he grins. “When he rang at the door, I even asked him what he wants here and if he mixed up the numbers of the doors. I told him that the rich single lady lives in the villa on the other side of the street.”  
  
Nino grins. “You didn’t.”  
  
“Yes, I did. Guess for him it kind of sealed my fate as a spoiled, annoying rich kid.”  
  
Shingo laughs even more. “What did he say?”  
  
Masaki smirks, and goes for a very serious and firm expression. “Most certainly not,” he answers, trying to go for Jun’s voice. “Then he looked at me like I was the weirdest guy in universe.”  
  
Nino giggles. “And? Was he… I don’t know… How was he?”  
  
“He is polite,” Masaki explains, tilting his head thoughtfully. “It’s really hard to explain him. He really hardly lets down his guard. But he wasn’t _unfriendly_.”  
  
“Was he kind?” Shingo wants to know.  
  
“I couldn’t say yes to that either,” Masaki admits. “But he remains calm, a bit impatient sometimes, but he knows what he is talking about. First time I understand integrals. He…”  Masaki’s voice trails off, and he isn’t sure how he should continue. When Nino prompts him to say something, he just shrugs and shakes his head. He isn’t sure what he wants to say anyhow. In this short moment when Jun let go of his guard, he looked vulnerable. Weirdly so. Masaki knows he is not the smartest person in universe, but he has a feeling for people and their emotions. “He isn’t a bad guy,” he says suddenly.  
  
“That’s deep,” Shingo chuckles. “How come?”  
  
“He looks a bit sad, like a puppy that was kicked once, and now he never wants to be open again,” Masaki hears himself say. “Maybe this whole stoic aura is just a mask? Or it isn’t, and he is just stoic and earnest, and thinks I’m the biggest idiot of the universe.” Masaki can imagine only too well how Jun probably judged him for being the person he is.  
  
“Well,” Shingo says surprisingly earnest. “If it’s a mask – at least once you are sure it is – it’s your task to make it disappear.”  
  
“Hm,” Masaki makes with lack of motivation. What is he supposed to do with that guy? Jun obviously doesn’t think too highly of him, and he is feeling pretty inferior in front of Jun too. So why lingering too long on these difficult thoughts and even more difficult problem? It wasn’t even his problem to begin with.  
  
“It’s our most important family rule!” Shingo exclaims proudly. “Don’t forget it.”  
  
“Oh god.” Nino rolls his eyes. “Don’t tell me, you are forcing this weird credo on Masaki all the time? So that’s why he collects all these stray cats.”  
  
Masaki nods thoughtfully, before he chuckles. “Our family credo is good though! We never walk passed a person who needs us!”  
  
“Right,” Shingo exclaims excitedly.  
  
“You two really like stray dogs,” Nino repeats with a dramatic sigh.  
  
Masaki grins. “You are just curious yourself,” he teases. “Join us three at the dinner party next week and Jun-san might be there.”  
  
“He is there for sure,” Shingo explains. “His oldest brother is on the executive board, and it’s a party to honour him, so I’m sure his younger brothers have to appear.”  
  
“Hm,” Masaki nods. “What is expected…”  
  
“What?” Nino asks curiously.  
  
“Nothing.” Masaki grins. “I’ll help you find an outfit!”  
  
“Who said I would come!?”  
  
“Oh,” Masaki grabs his arm, snuggles against it and makes puppy eyes. “Please~”  
  
Nino tries to pull his arm free, but then he bursts into helpless giggles. “Fine,” he gives in.  
  
  
~~~  
  
Actually the thought of being alone at home on a Saturday is less than alluring, so he is glad when Shun gives him a call, desperately so. His father recently bought a restaurant chain, some high class food, and expects Shun to go and eat there this weekend. Jun joins him.  
  
“Do we really have to eat something?” Jun whispers when they sit down at the best table on the roof deck of the restaurant. Outside people are actually lining up for up to five hours to get in.  
  
“Yes, unfortunately.” Shun sighs. “I don’t even know what they cook. Last time my father ordered me to go and eat somewhere and I bothered to check their menu, I felt sick. I’m sure I ate something that was alive. But it would be a disgrace to my father not to eat something here.”  
  
Jun nods. He can understand that sentiment. “What should we order?”  
  
“That’s the problem,” Shun explains. “If we look into the menu, we’ll know what we eat. And it’s better not to know… What are we going to do? We-“  
  
He gets interrupted by the head waiter approaching them. He bows deeply. “May I present the young masters with the menu?”  
  
Jun throws a look at Shun and motions him to be quiet. “Actually,” he says in his most charming way. “It is too difficult for us to decide with so many delicious dishes to choose from. We would very much appreciate it if you could offer us the staff’s recommendation.”  
  
The waiter’s eyes widen, then he nods, a proud smile gracing his lips. “I would be honoured to do so. May I provide the two young gentlemen with the wine of the day for now?”  
  
“Please,” Jun smiles politely. Wine will actually be safe, gladly.  
  
When the waiter brings them a bottle of wine and leaves them alone, Shun lets out a sigh of relief. “You are a pro,” he chuckles. “Now we don’t need to know what we’ll eat. By the way…” He looks at Jun curiously. “How did you escape the memorial?”  
  
“Not at all,” Jun explains shortly. “Takuya-san ordered me to take the day off.”  
  
“Ah, so that’s why you went to this Masaki-san today.” Shun eyes him curiously. “So, how is he?”  
  
“Difficult to say,” Jun muses. “He is honest.”  
  
“And that’s bad?”  
  
“He says what’s on his mind. Unfiltered and without further reflection,” Jun explains, not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. He has never met someone like Masaki before. Something about his straight-forward honesty and his blunt and naïve excitement ticks him off, and at the same time fascinates him.  
  
Shun chuckles. “I see. So you don’t like him?”  
  
“No, that’s not it,” Jun answers honestly.  
  
“So, you like him?”  
  
“I can’t say yes to that either.” He sighs. “I’d say, it is like it is. I took the job, so I’m not in the position to whine about the guy.”  
  
“Jun-kun,” Shun smiles warmly. “You can whine as much as you want about any guy in front of me, okay? Who cares if it’s appropriate or not. I’m your friend.”  
  
“Yes,” Jun says after a while, looking down into his glass of wine. “You are.” What did this Masaki say before? Something about partying and meeting your friends, and having fun. Like Jun didn’t know how it was supposed to work. He doesn’t understand why it bothers him so much. He is no one who is easily irritated normally, but somehow this guy made him almost drop his guard. In a twisted way it almost pains him to be close to him. Jun isn’t all that sure why he feels that way, it’s just something about Masaki that reminds him something long ago, and he wonders if he wants to be reminded of it by a guy he hardly knows – actually he isn’t even sure _if_ he wants to know Masaki. His presence during their lessons is already overstraining him, hence it’s impossible to become friends. He just can’t drop his guard. He needs to be careful around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've so much fun writing the Masaki-brothers, because they always have so fun. On contrary I always need forever to write scenes between the Jun-brothers (not in this update, but in the next one, they'll have an appearance again)  
> Sooo, Jun and Masaki met, and it's awkward? Icy? Irritating? For me it's like one of those meetings where you aren't sure what you are even supposed to feel. I think dumbfounded might be the word for it? For now these two don't seem to have any similarities at all. But this is only the beginning ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for my many updates, but I've already updated this story on another platform up to chapter 6, so I'm trying to catch on. Same for my other stories

Jun has a recurring nightmare. He dreams of it regularly. Sometimes the images won’t flood his mind at night and instead hover above him like shadows, but at least once a week he dreams of it. He sighs deeply when he sits up in his bed, sweat sticking to his forehead.  
  
When Jun pats down to the first floor into the kitchen to grab himself a tea or some water and to make his mind relax, he is surprised to meet Sho there.  
  
“Sho-san?” he stutters.  
  
“Jun, you are still awake?” Sho looks at him in surprise. “Don’t you have an important exam tomorrow, kid. You should sleep.”  
  
Jun opens the tab and takes a glass to fill it with water. “I couldn’t sleep,” he explains shortly, annoyed that Sho reminds him of his exam. Now it’s not only his nightmare bothering him but the exam too. How is he going to manage to do well when he doesn’t sleep the whole night, distracted by those horrible images?  
  
“You are just nervous,” Sho suddenly says, standing next to him. He opens the fridge and takes a bottle with milk out of it. To Jun’s mere surprise he puts some into a cup, adds honey to it and warms it up in the microwave. Jun stops it after one minute so that it won’t boil over. Sho seriously is the biggest mess in a kitchen.  
  
“Here,” Sho says when he takes the cup out of the microwave. “It might calm your nerves. You have studied well, right?”  
  
Jun nods. Of course he did. Why does Sho even ask?  
  
“Then you don’t need to be nervous,” Sho states in a matter-of-fact tone. Hopefully he doesn’t believe he is being comforting right now? If yes, he does a horrible job at it. But Jun decides to give him the props for at least trying. “You are a good kid,” Sho adds awkwardly.  
  
Jun has to smile a bit. “Thank you,” he says and takes a sip from the milk. He doesn’t tell Sho that he couldn’t sleep because of a nightmare, because it would lead to questions. And he wouldn’t be able to answer them honestly. And then more questions would come.  
  
No, it’s better that way, he decides when he heads back upstairs.  
  
  
~~~  
  
Takuya and Sho look through the folders in front of them, while Jun tries to look like he knows what they are doing, and like he actually has something to contribute. He doesn’t mind these Sunday afternoon meetings at all. It’s true that it’s an obligation for them, actually, meeting every week on Sunday at 5PM for joint dinner and for talking about the family businesses from the last week and the plans for the upcoming ones. Only excuse to be absent is a severe illness or an emergency at work. Jun doesn’t mind joining these Sunday evenings though, he doesn’t really question them. He is at home anyways.  
  
Jun tugs a bit at the sleeves of his green yukata. It’s a more comfortable and casual one, but still it feels a bit weird to him to wear it at home. Since Sho and Takuya always wear a yukata on their Sunday evening meetings though, he decides he has to do it too.  
  
“There is the dinner party on Friday,” Takuya looks through his schedule planer with a frown. “I hope to see you two there. You didn’t forget, did you?” When Sho and Jun both shake their heads, he nods contently. “And then I have to attend the presentation of the support funds for this year’s cultural programs.”  
  
“Do you want one of us to accompany you, Takuya-san?” Sho wants to know.  
  
“No, it’s not necessary. It’s merely a presentation, but there will be the financial report of the last term in our bank on Thursday. If one of you would accompany me, it would be great.”  
  
Before Jun can answer, Sho nods. “Jun probably has a class as it’s morning, so I’ll go with you.” Jun frowns, trying not to glare at Sho for not even asking him.  
  
Takuya nods and makes a note into his schedule. “We have to donate to one of the foundations the executive board supports,” he explains further.  
  
Sho tilts his head. “We donated to the orphanage last month. I would like to donate money to them again.”  
  
“Yes, shortly before Christmas they for sure need it,” Takuya agrees. “We could also consider the society for the improvement of the cityscape for renovating the library. Let’s donate to both of them.” He pauses, a thoughtful expression on his face before he turns to look at Jun directly. “What do you think? Is there an organisation or a project you would like us to support?”  
  
Jun is taken aback by that question. It’s unusual for them to ask for his opinion directly, and like every time Takuya and Sho want to know his opinion, he feels nervous. But he doesn’t want to let this chance slip, so he swallows down the lump in his throat, and nods carefully. “There actually is,” he says tentatively.  
  
Sho looks at him in interest, at least Jun hopes it’s interest. “And what kind of project is it?”  
  
“The university is expanding the scholarships for the poor students with good results, so that they can study at a well-respected university like mine,” he explains, his heart jumping slightly at the thought of finally being able to contribute something… even if it’s actually Takuya’s and Sho’s money. “I have lots of wealthy co-students who don’t have any ambition, so I thought it would be nice to support those who actually want to get a good education, but can’t.”  
  
The words education, opportunity and good results basically put light into Sho’s eyes. Jun is sure he would agree to anything that is remotely connected to these topics. To his relief, Sho indeed nods. “This sounds like something I would love to support too,” he says contently, and much to Jun’s own dismay Sho’s approval actually makes him happy.  
  
“Good,” Takuya agrees, eyeing Jun through these always awake eyes of his. It’s like he sees everything and knows everything. “And?”  
  
Jun blinks. “Excuse me?”  
  
“There is something else you are interested in,” Takuya states.  
  
How the hell does he know!? Jun hardly ever talks to someone about family business and the money they donate, or who he wants to support, so no one could have blabbed. It’s like Takuya is a psychic. “It’s not that important,” he says immediately.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“It’s just a small thing,” Jun explains nervously.  
  
“Let me be the one who judges that,” Takuya answers.  
  
Jun sighs inwardly. There is no escaping that guy. “The theatre, ballet, and orchestra club at university still needs sponsors for their production this year,” he explains nervously. “It’s just a small project though, and-“  
  
“Culture is important,” Takuya interrupts him. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t think about small projects too.”  
  
“Really?” Jun asks in surprise.  
  
“Yes.” Takuya looks at Sho. “What do you think, Sho?”  
  
“I see nothing wrong with it,” Sho agrees, and Jun isn’t quite sure if he really agrees or if he only agrees because Takuya does. It’s always difficult to read Sho, but apparently he doesn’t seem to be against it either, because he even smiles slightly when the maid brings them their dinner, hence interrupting their talk. “Duck,” he says contently. “We didn’t have this forever.”  
  
Jun smiles at the maid. “It really looks good, Kashigawi-san” he tells her.  
  
“Thank you, young master.” She smiles proudly before she retreats, and Sho looks at him in surprise.  
  
“You really always remember the maids’ and the other subordinates’ names?”  
  
Jun frowns. “Is that wrong?” he wants to know.  
  
“No,” Sho says. “I’m just surprised.” He is about to say more, when Takuya takes his chopsticks.  
  
“Let’s eat,” Takuya says, looking at the plates in front of him in interest. “We are all hungry, it seems.”  
  
~~~  
  
The family credo! It pushes Masaki to actually try harder than the last time. So, Jun probably didn’t like the coconut-cookies he made, maybe he likes chocolate more? Sweets always break the ice after all. He still doesn’t have much motivation to get to know Jun though. It’s  not because he dislikes him, but because he finds it really difficult to talk to him. Jun is everything he isn’t. And the other way round. He is sure that if things went their normal way they would have never talked with each other. But unfortunately, thanks to Satoshi, they now have to hang out with each other and Jun has to teach him, and Masaki can’t allow himself to get distracted by feeling inferior to this guy. Jun is younger than he is, but far ahead in his studies, he is serious and beautiful, and obviously everyone thinks he is dependable. Unlike Masaki. He knows it’s not Jun’s fault for being the way he is, but-  
  
“This Jun is quite pretty, isn’t he?” Shingo interrupts his complicated trail of thoughts. He has offered Masaki to help him with baking. “Ah, I wish I would be young again,” he sighs dramatically. “I want to woo a pretty guy too with self-baked cookies. In my age you can only woo someone with a thick credit card, an expensive car or caviar in martini. I hate caviar, I love my dirty car and why should I borrow someone I don’t know my credit card?”  
  
“I don’t want to woo anyone,” Masaki argues, not able to hide the annoyed tone in his voice.  
  
Shingo ignores him, smiling dreamily. “19 years young, falling in love with your pretty teacher. How romantic~”  
  
“He is not my teacher,” Masaki huffs. “He is just tutoring me, for money, because apparently he lives for his studies and has no other hobbies!”  
  
“Look how you pretend not to get along with him,” Shingo winks suggestively.  
  
God, he can be so stupid sometimes, ignoring everyone else around him and just walking through a room like a tornado. “I _don’t_ get along with him,” Masaki tries it another time. “He is hardly talking to me when I try to chat with him to break the ice! He also didn’t eat my coconut-cookies last time. I think he didn’t like them and-“  
  
“He didn’t like your cookies,” Shingo asks in serious shock. “Everyone likes your cookies!”  
  
“Yes, that’s why I-“  
  
“Masaki!” Shingo says, suddenly all earnest. “You need to melt this guy’s heart! Fight!”  
  
“Jeez,” Masaki lets out a deep sigh. “Fine,” he grumbles. “I’ll fight. Can you please go now and help Satoshi instead? He is trying to put his painting supplies into an order. I think it’s a complicated task.”  
  
Shingo chuckles and looks so mischievous that even Nino would have been scared of him, but to Masaki’s relief he indeed leaves him alone. It’s only a few minutes later that Masaki realizes that he doesn’t feel tensed anymore. What was he wondering about earlier? He blinks a few times. Well…  he shouldn’t overanalyse things.  
  
He chuckles slightly while he dips the cookies into a thick chocolate sauce. Shingo has a very unique talent to distract people. His laidback silliness is probably the best trick he can use. That’s why everyone loves him so much. He lights up every atmosphere, and before someone even knows he is engulfed in a silly talk about something ridiculous.  
  
  
~~~  
  
Masaki tries to make some small talk. He has offered Jun his perfect chocolate cookies. Okay, they aren’t perfect, but at least very close to his ideal of cookies. But again, Jun took only one cookie, put it on a handkerchief next to his pens and books, and didn’t even touch it.  
  
Small talk is the last resort Masaki has to talk to Jun and get to know him better. “Are you going to this dinner party on Friday?” he wants to know, smiling at Jun.  
  
Jun nods. “Of course. My brother is one of the guests of honour. I can’t miss this event. It would be an insult to his achievements otherwise.”  
  
Huh? “Well,” Masaki stutters, trying to find a way to understand Jun’s approach of life better. What a complicated guy. “Of course.” They both fall silent afterwards, and Masaki is about to give up when the door suddenly opens.  
  
“Do you boys want to eat something?”  
  
Masaki rolls his eyes when Shingo and Satoshi peek into his room where he is currently with Jun. It’s too obvious that they just wanted to take a look at Jun. Jun however bows politely in his well-educated manner that never seizes to intimidate Masaki.  
  
“I’ve made cookies,” Shingo continues, his eyes basically staring Jun down in interest. Jun for once reacts like a human and squirms around a bit.  
  
“No you haven’t,” Masaki exclaims and throws a plushed dolphin in Shingo’s direction. “I know because _I_ made the cookies!”  
  
Shingo dodges the dolphin skilfully and throws it back at Masaki. “Okay, I just wanted to check out your young teacher,” he says straight-forwardly.  
  
Jun looks up in surprise. “What…” He is so obviously taken aback by Shingo’s approach that Masaki has to grin inwardly. Hah! So much about that never-ending stoic expression.  
  
Satoshi throws Shingo a reproachful glance. “We wanted to get to know you, Jun-kun,” he says in his typical calm voice that makes everyone relax immediately. “Thank you for helping our little brother. We entrust him to your care.”  
  
“Thank you for your faith in my abilities. I hope I won’t disappoint you, Satoshi-san,” Jun answers politely. He holds his pen so tightly though that Masaki is almost a bit afraid he will break it accidentally. It’s like he is nervous as hell.  
  
“Say, Jun-kun,” Shingo starts non-chalantly, ignoring the previous exchange between Jun and Satoshi. “Your oldest brother’s name is Takuya, am I right?”  
  
“Indeed,” Jun looks up in surprise, relaxing his fingers around the pen. “Do you know my brother?”  
  
Shingo grins suggestively. “Oh, how I wish I would. He is some hot sh-”  
  
Before he can continue and embarrass Masaki any further, Masaki throws the plushed dolphin at him again. This time Shingo doesn’t doge it. He laughs though. “Do you also throw things at your brothers, Jun-kun?” Shingo wants to know with a broad grin.  
  
“No,” Jun answers simply.  
  
“Yeah,” Shingo agrees. “The mere thought of someone throwing something at Takuya-san is already quite threatening.”  
  
Masaki wonders when Jun will have enough and just glare Shingo down for his stupid talk, just like he does it with Masaki sometimes, but much to his surprise, Jun smiles slightly and puts the pen aside. “Yes,” he says. “It would be awkward indeed.”  
  
“Would he throw the _something_ back at you?” Masaki wants to know curiously.  
  
“No,” Jun explains, surprisingly open. “I think he would just stare at me through these intense eyes of his, and say nothing at all.”  
  
“Scary,” Masaki exclaims with a chuckle. “But I’m sure he is a nice guy.”  
  
Jun lets out a sigh that’s a mix out of frustration and amusement. “You are saying that about everyone, aren’t you?”  
  
Masaki blushes. Yes. “No, of course not.” He almost fears that Shingo or Satoshi will butt into his talk again, but to his relief his two brothers apparently retreated, and only left a tray with fresh tea for them on the table. “You think I’m an idiot, am I right?”  
  
“Did I ever say that?” Jun asks firmly, furrowing his eyebrows.  
  
Masaki sighs. “No, not directly. But be honest, you think I’m naïve, at least.”  
  
“Is it important what I think?” Jun wants to know, furrowing his eyebrows further. He doesn’t look angry though, rather thoughtful and serious.  
  
“That’s not it,” Masaki lets out an exasperate sigh, wondering for the hundredth time why every talk with this guy was so complicated. Why couldn’t he be like Nino? Or Kame? Or even Shingo? He could deal with loud and nosy. He could deal with sarcasm and teasing. He could even deal with slight bitchiness. But Jun’s cold behaviour is something he doesn’t know how to handle.  
  
“We shouldn’t argue,” Jun points out. “Let’s rather concentrate on the preparation for your maths exam.”  
  
Argue!? Is this really arguing for Jun? When Shingo argues with someone he will get really annoyed and really direct. When Satoshi argues, he will become deep serious and suddenly intimidating. And Masaki himself could actually even yell and cry. But apparently their definitions of arguing differ. Like everything else they think or do.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
“Is everything alright?” Nino asks him while Shingo’s chauffeur takes them to the dinner party.  
  
Masaki bites down on his lips nervously. “I’m not sure,” he admits.  
  
“Is it because of this Jun-kun?” Nino wants to know with a frown. How does he manage to do that? Look into his mind directly.  
  
“You are a psychic,” Masaki complains.  
  
“I wish I was,” Nino smirks. “I just know you so long already that it’s easy to read your mind.”  
  
“So, how did you know?” Masaki wants to know.  
  
“You are down, and the only person you have a hard time to get along with is him. Besides you just met him two days ago.” Nino pokes his forehead and grins. “So much about me being a psychic. Maybe I should buy a crystal ball and take money from you next time.”  
                                             
Masaki laughs. “I can totally see you doing that.”  
  
“So,” Nino asks in open interest. “What’s the problem?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Masaki says, and really… he doesn’t know. He just knows that there is _something_ , and that no one has ever gone under his skin like Jun does. He doesn’t even understand it, maybe because Jun is… Oh, hell, what does he know?  
  
He decides for himself that he doesn’t want to think about that guy anymore, instead he wants to focus on his friends and family, and the party ahead of them. He loves parties after all, although this is a dinner party, and he is supposed to pay attention to certain etiquette, but well… it’s still a party, right?  
  
When they enter the huge building, they immediately meet Kame and Kazama, who are hiding in a corner of the huge hall, looking pretty intimidated.  
  
“I can’t believe you made us all join you,” Kame grins slightly. He nods thankfully when Masaki hands him a drink.  
  
Nino lets out a deep sigh meanwhile. “I hate gatherings like this.”  
  
Masaki checks his tie nervously. “I’m not feeling so comfortable either.”  
  
“Is it really alright for me to be here?” Kame asks. “My parents aren’t that wealthy. At least not in comparison to your family or the other people here.”  
  
“Satoshi and Shingo put you on the guest list, don’t worry.”  
  
Masaki looks around curiously. Before he can say anything though, he sees Jun. he can’t help but stare at him, drawn into the image in front of him. The suit he is wearing is not all black but mixed with violet and embroidery, and his shirt is white. He looks dazzling and fashionable, like out of a different world. A young woman clings to his arm, tall and slender, in a dress that suits his, and Masaki is sure that he has already seen her gracing some covers of expensive magazines. Everything about Matsumoto basically reeks of class. High class, and suddenly Masaki feels out of place.  
  
“That’s him,” he mumbles.  
  
Kame follows his gaze and nods. “Yep,” he sighs. “Way to make us feel inferior. It’s like he does it on purpose.”  
  
“He doesn’t even know that we are coming,” Nino points out and rolls his eyes. “You guys freak out over nothing.”  
  
Kazama turns around curiously, and Masaki can see his eyes widening. “That’s your tutor!?” he huffs.  
  
“SH!” Kame makes.  
  
“Yeah, he isn’t ugly at all,” Nino analyses dryly. “I was obviously wrong.”  
  
Jun greets a tall guy with broad shoulders and brown, long-ish hair who is one of the honour guests of the gathering, it has to be his oldest brother. “Am I the only one with an otherworldly experience feeling?” Masaki wants to know.  
  
“Definitely not,” Nino says quietly. “They look extremely… let’s say: earnest. Is he like that when he tutored you?”  
  
“Minus the one million yen suit,” Masaki explains casually.  
  
“You do realise you have to say hello at one point,” Nino points out mercilessly. “I would. He looks like the type of guy that likes etiquette.”  
  
Masaki lets out a dramatic sigh and rolls his eyes, making the others laugh. He has to laugh himself too. Being with his friends always brightens his mood. Fine, he needs to get this over with immediately, as long as he feels motivated and in a good mood, and has courage.  
  
When Jun’s pretty female company leaves for the restroom and that Oguri-guy goes to the bar, Masaki uses the moment that Jun is alone and walks towards him. “Jun-san!” he calls out in what he hopes is a friendly and warm tune.  
  
Jun bows his head slightly. “Masaki-san. So, you came?”  
  
Masaki generously ignores the –san behind his name, although it makes him feel awkward as hell. Instead he looks around in awe. “Well, my brother – Shingo – was invited and took Satoshi and me along. It’s a nice party.”  
  
“Hm,” Jun makes and looks around as well.  
  
“I’m sure you are really proud of your brother,” Masaki ignores the reserved way Jun answers him.  
  
Jun looks at him in surprise. “Well, yes, I guess. My brother is very talented and smart.”  
  
Masaki nods, signalling that he is listening, but when nothing more comes out of Jun’s mouth, he decides to feed him with more questions. Why does he only answer so shortly. “You know I like parties,” he jokes.  
  
Jun nods. “Yes?”  
  
“Eh.” Masaki blinks. He has not expected a question in return. “I’ve never been to such an event though. There is really nothing missing here.”  
  
“It isn’t?” Jun asks in return, slowly aggravating Masaki with his weird suggestive inquiries. He isn’t even sounding impolite or anything, but Masaki just feels incredibly stupid next to him.  
  
“I think it’s perfect,” Masaki tries it with another joke. “Just like my life.”  
  
Jun furrows his eyebrows and checks Masaki from head to toe. “Your life is perfect?” he wants to know, and finally there seems to be real interest in his voice.  
  
“There is nothing missing,” Masaki points out with a smile.  
  
“So there is really nothing missing in your life?” Jun wants to know.  
  
Masaki nods, slowly starting to feel uncomfortable. Jun has these intense eyes, and all of a sudden Masaki worries about what he might truly see when he looks at him. He wonders if he can see more than Masaki shows and wants to show.  
  
Jun looks at him through these dark eyes of his, before he shrugs. “Is that so.” he muses. “Then you are truly admirable.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
Nino tries to repeat it mantra-like in his head… that he likes to be here. It’s not a real party, it’s an event, so… although there are people, he doesn’t need to freak out over the loud music and all of that… and there is food, free food, and good drinks, and his friends… and…  
  
Oh dear, who is he kidding!? He hates parties. It’s suffocating in this room with so many people… like he feels claustrophobic immediately, loud enough so that his ears vibrate, and it’s draining to have so many awkward talks here. Even those stupid college parties are more relaxing than this here. Does that Jun-guy, and actually even Satoshi and Shingo, really have to attend such events regularly?  
  
It’s so-  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
Nino spins around in surprise. Did someone talk to him? When he looks directly into two huge brown eyes, he blinks slightly. Does he know that man? His eyes wander over the guy’s face, eyeing his round-shaped face, his pretty nose, and plump lips, and those big eyes. Nino blushes at his own thoughts. God, he really needs to accompany Masaki to one of his parties next time, he definitely needs to get laid if even looking at a somewhat decent looking guy already makes him daydream. “Yes?” he asks politely, remembering that the guy apparently knows him.  
  
“Could you bring me another glass of white wine, please.”  
  
Nino’s dreamy feelings are washed away immediately. “What?”  
  
“Please, no late vintage,” the guy continues. Nino is stunned for a moment, not able to say anything, while the guy just stares at him, pulling his eyebrows up when Nino doesn’t react. “Did you hear me, young man?”  
  
“Do I look like I work here!?” Nino blurts out all of a sudden, feeling embarrassed, angry and upset all at once. What the hell!? He looks fine in his outfit, doesn’t he? Okay, he knows it’s not the best suit, because he hates shopping although he has the money, but his family never cared for things like appearance. And now this guy here makes him look like the biggest idiot ever.  
  
“You aren’t?” the man blinks in surprise, then an apologetic smile appears on his lips. “Please forgive my mistake then,” he says.  
  
“Just forget it,” Nino huffs, and turns around to stomp off. He seriously needs to let off some steam, he decides. Maybe he should flirt with someone here, to show it to that annoying ass that he looks fine enough to be a guest!  
  
He needs to talk to Masaki first! When he runs around the corner of the corridor, searching for Masaki, they bump against each other. “Here you are,” Masaki calls out, looking so pissed that Nino almost forgets his own anger. Masaki? Angry? Impossible. “Restroom, now!” Masaki orders, and all Nino can do is nod and follow him.  
  
Masaki apparently only waits for the door to get closed, before he starts his rant.  “This freaking ARROGANT idiot!” Masaki yells out. “What does he know!? How dare he look at me like he knows me!? Mr. I’m so perfect. No one can live up to my high expectations. With this bursting confidence and that stuck up behaviour and… and every time he comes I prepare cookies, and he never eats them. I suppose they aren’t good enough for his extinctive taste!” He lets out an exasperated sigh. Nino isn’t sure what to say about it, he wonders why the hell this guy gets so much under Masaki’s skin. It’s not even remotely like Masaki to snap like this. “He didn’t even eat the cookies I made,” je repeats exasperated, sounding sad all of a sudden.  
  
Nino frowns, surprised enough by his friend’s outburst to forget being sarcastic. “Why does he get under your skin so much, Masaki?” he asks softly. “Why do you bother? It’s just a guy. Any guy. Did he say something to you? Was he mean?”  
  
“No,” Masaki smiles bitterly. “He is nothing but perfect. Come, let’s go to the others.”  
  
Nino sighs slightly while they leave the bathroom. It’s rare for Masaki to explode like that. He grabs his arm before they can return to the huge hall. “Okay, Masaki, I know something is horribly off. So what is it?” Nino whispers. “Why are you so upset over him?”  
  
“Because…” Masaki looks tired all of a sudden, almost drained. “He is so… so… I don’t know…”  
  
“Yes, you do! What is he?”  
  
“He is so perfect,” Masaki admits. “Unlike myself. He is everything I should be, but can’t.”  
  
“Since when do you talk so much garbage?” Nino wants to know, feeling angry at Masaki belittling himself. He is so great, how can’t he see it!? “You are perfect the way you are! You-“ He is about to say more, but when he sees Kazama and Kame approaching them, he shuts up again. This is not the right place for a discussion, definitely not.  
  
While Masaki chats with their friends, Nino’s gaze wanders through the room. His eyes meet the guy with the plump lips, and he can’t help but stare. When their eyes meet, he blushes furiously and turns his head away, looking at the restrooms.  
  
The door opens slightly, and Nino’s blood almost freezes in his veins. The person that comes out is clad in a dark purple coat and black trousers… and… oh my fucking god, did he hear Masaki’s outburst!?  
  
Jun’s eyes rest on their group for a moment before he turns away abruptly and joins the girl he came to the party with.  
  
Nino can’t help but stare at the young guy in shock, not sure what to say or do now. Should he maybe approach him and talk to him and tell him Masaki has a… a… multiple personality? Fatal illness that causes him to lose his nerves? A dramatic past? A… something…  
  
Masaki seems to realize his weird daze. “Everything alright, Nino?” he asks softly, tugging at his arm. He smiles his usual Masaki-smile, apparently gone back to normal again after his outburst. “Is something off?”  
  
“No,” Nino mumbles, his eyes meeting Jun’s again before he pulls his gaze away and forces himself to skim through the room. He sees the plump-lips guy again, who nods at him majestically. Jerk. “Everything alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we had a semi-awkward Jun-and-brothers intermission, Jun haunted by a nightmare, Shingo in his best form, Masaki lost his nerves, Jun heard it, it seems (?) and Nino... met a certain someone :D Perfect first meeting, right? *LOL*


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shingo and Takuya meet for the first time. And what did Jun exactly hear?

Okay, congratulation to these awkward guys that drink bottles of champagne without needing a toilet, but damn it, Shingo needs to pee! And it doesn’t help that the dudes he talks with at this stiff dinner party talk about wine now, and wine production, and the beautiful onsen they visited recently.

Can they stop talking about WATER please?

Shingo is about to just tell them that he has human needs, unlike the real upper ten thousand here, when he sees Masaki with his friends. Cute little brothers are awesome, especially when he can use them as an excuse.

“Excuse me gentlemen,” he says with a bright smile. “I need to check on my younger brother for a moment. If you excuse me.”

Of course everyone excuses him, and he can retreat in dignity. When he hurries towards Masaki he passes by Satoshi who is chatting with a young man, round teddy-bear face, chipmunk smile, plump lips. “Ah, Shingo!” Satoshi calls out. “I need to introduce Sho-san to you.”

“Later,” Shingo grumbles. “If I don’t find a restroom soon, I’m going to explode!”

Satoshi rolls his eyes while his Sho-san-friend looks almost a little shocked. Shingo however can’t bother with that, instead he hurries to the next-closest bathroom, glad that he can finally relieve his pressure.

The restroom is actually really beautiful. It might sound weird, but he has a thing for nicely built bathrooms. When he leaves the cabin, he wants to take a closer look at the sink and decoration, but what he sees instead is a pretty gropeable butt clad in tight black trousers. Shingo has a good eye for hot butts, and he knows one when he sees one. This guy has it. The dude who belongs to the butt bends forward, washing his hands, his hair perfectly styled. It’s surprisingly light hair, not black but brown. Unusual.

The guy looks up and turns around. Uhlala, who thought he would be so lucky to meet him here! This is his lucky day! “I’m sorry, Kimura-san, I didn’t know you were here.”

Takuya pulls his eyebrows up mockingly. “No, you basically ran past me and almost knocked me over.”

“Human needs,” Shingo says light-heartedly while he washes his hands. Even for his standards though this is a weird talk. Toilet talk at the toilet? Takuya seems to think so too, because he shifts around a bit. “I heard we are going to work together for the new project?” Shingo asks.

“Ah, right, it’s your company that got the offer,” Takuya nods.

“I’m looking forward to working with you,” Shingo says honestly.

“Really? Normally people are intimidated by me first,” Takuya points out with a frown.

Shingo blinks. “I’m not.”

“Hm.” Takuya checks him from head to toe, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Give me a call when you have an appointment with our news channel. I’ll check on the details then.”

“Thank you.” Shingo grins. “Seems like everyone in your family is always well prepared.”

“You know my brothers?” Takuya asks in sudden interest, his eyes turning from indifferent brown to a slight interested caramel brown. He has to be the only person in the world whose eye colours can change with his mood. Fascinating.

“Your little one tutors my little one,” Shingo explains.

“Ah!” Takuya finally seems to make the connection. “You are the oldest brother of…”

“Masaki,” Shingo helps him out.

“I hope Jun is doing a good job,” Takuya says with slight worry. “He is a good kid, but he appears so stoic and reserved sometimes.”

This coming from Takuya’s mouth is the joke of the century, Shingo thinks but doesn’t say anything. “He is putting a lot of effort into his lessons with Masaki,” he explains. “To be honest, Masaki is a happy-go-lucky guy. I love him dearly, he is a wonderful young man and sees the good in every person, but working with someone more serious will make him grow. The grades are not the problem,” he contains. “I’m sure Masaki will improve soon, but meeting people you normally aren’t accustomed with, learning and accepting other views and other ways to live, will make him grow as a person.”

Takuya nods, before a rare smile spreads on his lips. “Yes,” he says with a surprisingly soft smile. “Maybe Jun on the other side will learn to be more carefree and enjoy his life. He looks strained most of the time, like something is bothering him.” He chuckles. “Your Masaki… He is really lucky to have such a good older brother,” he says, and Shingo blinks at the compliment, fighting hard not to blush like a little kid.

“I’m sure you are good older brother too,” he points out.

Takuya chuckles. “I’m still learning,” he admits. Before he leaves the restroom, he turns around. “Give me a call, Shingo-san,” he offers. “I mean it. When you come to the news quarter, tell me beforehand. I’ll show you around.”

Shingo nods. “Thank you. I will.”

Once Takuya left the restroom, Shingo lets out a high-pitched squeal. Oh my god, he talked to him! And he managed to come off as cool and casual… and cool, how very rare!! He is sure Takuya will find him annoying soon, but who cares? He already has a foot in his door… and damn, he has a huge foot! It’s difficult to shove him aside.

~~~

 

Jun’s head spins. He dances with Kiko, because he has to. He likes her of course, she is like his little sister to him, but he just wishes he could go home. Dancing makes his head spin even more. But it’s inevitable that he shows himself at least until midnight on this party and pretends like he is having fun.

God, he hates parties.

“Smile,” Kiko tells him when he spins her over the dance floor.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs. “You know, I-“

She chuckles. “I know, sad man. But when you smile, you can at least pretend to have fun.”

Jun nods and forces a smile to his lips. “Better?”

“A bit,” she smiles warmly. “Let’s join Shun-kun,” she suggests once the music stops playing.

Jun nods, offering her his arm to lead her away from the dance floor, glad that they can go away from prying eyes. Huge gatherings like this with too many people always make him feel a bit uncomfortable.

They join Shun at their table together with a girl Jun hasn’t seen before. “Uh, new girlfriend,” Kiko whispers.

“Hey,” Shun smiles at them. “It’s almost midnight, right? So, it won’t be impolite to leave?”

He can’t be any more suggestive, can he? Still, Jun can’t help a grin. Shun is his oldest friend, mostly composed and calm, and sometimes a bit silly. He is so reliable. It’s just that his way to look for the perfect woman is a bit weird. “Just go.” Jun says casually. “At least one of us can have fun.” Shun nods almost thankfully before he sneaks away, holding his new girlfriend’s hand.

“Yes,” Kiko teases. “Because I’m stuck with Mr. Grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy,” Jun argues half-heartedly, before he sighs. It’s not her fault that he is in a bad mood. “I’m sorry.”

“No seriously.” Kiko bends forward, checking his face. “Are you alright?” she wants to know. “You look pale.”

“To be honest, I just want to go home,” Jun admits honestly. “But there is no use in sulking around, so…”

“Sh, your brother is coming.” Kiko leans back a bit and waves at Sho, who is approaching them.

He sits down on the empty chair which Shun left behind. “How are you holding up, kids?”

Jun has to hold back a chuckle. The fact that Sho still calls them kids, is almost cute. A bit weird, but Sho doesn’t mean it bad, he knows that. “It’s an impressive party,” Jun points out.

Sho sighs. “Yes, indeed. Takuya-san really knows a lot of people.” He looks at Jun through questioning eyes. “Say, are you feeling unwell?”

Jun swallows. “It’s not that bad,” he mumbles. Of course it would be the perfect excuse to just tell Sho that he feels horrible. But he has never lied to one of his brothers, and it would feel weird to do it now.

Sho looks a bit worried all of a sudden. “If you are not feeling good, you should go home. I’ll call our chauffeur.”

“I can’t just leave,” Jun opposes carefully, ready to say more although Kiko elbows him secretly under the table.

Sho shakes his head. “No, if you are not feeling well, you are going home. You have your exams and your classes to worry about, you shouldn’t get sick. End of discussion.”

For once Jun is glad that Sho decides something over his head. He just needs to nod.

“This is a good idea,” Kiko says immediately. “I’ll accompany him home, so you don’t need to worry.”

“Such a nice thought of you. Thank you, Kiko-chan,” Sho says, sounding pleased, then he takes his phone out. “Our chauffeur will be here in twenty minutes. Just wait for him outside. I’ll tell Takuya-san that I sent you two home.”

“Thank you,” Jun says, indeed feeling a bit sick now because they kind of cheated their early way home. When Sho has left them alone, he turns towards Kiko. “Is this really alright for you?”

“Hell, yes,” she calls out. “It’s so boring. And they have played five waltzes after another. Do they believe this is fun? And I don’t want to gain weight by eating yet another four courses.”

“We could go home and watch a movie,” Jun offers.

She grins. “Feed me with martini and one of your diet soup dishes there and I’m in.”

 

~~~

There is one question that bothered Jun every minute from the moment on that he heard Masaki and that other guy at the toilet until today three days later. He wished he would have had a worse timing and not been there, because honestly… hearing someone talk about him like that did hurt. Of course a lot of people talk about him, but it doesn’t really matter. Masaki however with his straight-forward honesty and good-naturedness is something else…

“Do I come off as arrogant?”

Kiko stares at him in surprise. She has just come over to his place, had a silly chat with Sho – as always shocking Jun with being able to even make Sho sound fun and laidback – and then joined him in the kitchen. They planned a movies night, and Jun decided to cook for them. “And you ask me that… because?”

“I just wondered,” Jun points out while he carefully forms the mass out of flour, water and potatoes between his hands.

“No, you didn’t.”

“It’s just… I heard someone calling me that.”

Kiko frowns. “Who?”

Jun sighs. “Can’t you just give me a simple answer?”

“No,” Kiko states. “Tell me who.”

“Masaki-san. He said I’m arrogant and impolite. And hurting him by not eating his cookies,” Jun repeats the words like a robot.

“No, you are not arrogant, you idiot.” Kiko looks at him with a frown. “Why do you care? We are used to people calling us names, and to the rumours; and how often are people talking about your family although they don’t even know you? You’ve never cared, now you do. Why is that guy so important?”

“He isn’t,” Jun mumbles. “But there is something about him…”

“What is it? Just ignore this idiot!”

“He is happy,” Jun says quietly. He stares down at his hands for a moment, covered in flour. “He is able to be cheesy and open, and just says what comes to his mind. He hates me but tries to make me happy by baking stupid cookies.” The tomato sauce starts cooking, and he pulls the pan aside, taking a spoon and trying some of it, before offering some to Kiko. “He says things like: I want to cure cancer. My life is perfect. My brother is so cute. And means it. And all I can do is stare at him without having an answer or without being able to actually react. Because what the hell should I even answer? I don’t know what to say. I hate him” He puts the spoon back into the pan. “I hate him so much.”

Kiko takes his arm to turn him around. “You have some flour there,” she says and rubs with one of her fingers against his cheek. “You don’t hate him. You envy him. At least a bit.”

“Hm.” She reaches out for a towel and as she can’t reach it, Jun helps her with hit, handing it to her.

“You are always surrounding yourself with the same people,” she continues wisely. “Namely my very own beautiful person, Shun… and… well, your brothers, although I find your relationship a bit weird. Don’t you think you’ll learn something important if you give it a try?”

“I’m supposed to help him study not to befriend him,” Jun argues. “Why is it important?”

“It isn’t. But it’s a chance. I mean, you haven’t had the chance to get to know someone new since a long time, didn’t you? It’s like someone presents a possible friend to you on a silver plate.”

“But…”

“You haven’t given him a chance,” Kiko insists. “I mean, you say he is honest. That’s not bad. So, his dreams are naïve, but it’s cute and shows his passion. Why don’t you try to understand his way of thinking? I mean, when was the last time you actually tried to let someone into your life. He baked for you each time, didn’t he? Did you tell him why you can’t eat what he put effort into making?” When Jun shakes his head, she rolls her eyes. “You cannot expect someone to know what you are thinking when you don’t tell them.”

Jun shrugs. “I didn’t want to bother him with it. He would feel obliged to do something differently then,” Jun argues. “Besides, I don’t know if I really want him to know what I’m thinking,”

“Yes you do, or you wouldn’t be so upset since that stupid party.” Kiko smiles brightly. “You don’t need to become friends, but why don’t you try wholeheartedly to understand him and give him a chance to understand you. Maybe you share something with each other, and if not, you might learn new things on your way.”

Jun lets her words sink in, then he smiles. “Yes, mommy, I’ll try.”

She blinks for a moment, then she bursts into giggles. “Almost twenty years I know you! And it’s the first time that you make a silly joke! I can’t believe I live to experience this.” She continues to giggle, until something outside seems to get her attention. “Hey, Jun-san,” Kiko chuckles when she elbows Jun and points to the corridor.

Jun blinks in surprise. Sho is basically lurking around there, sometimes eyeing them carefully, before looking away like he is embarrassed. “What is he doing there?”

“He is hungry,” Kiko grins.

“Oh please!” Jun rolls his eyes

“He is!” Kiko argues. “Come on, ask him if he wants something.”

She can be so persistent that Jun decides it’s better to comply with her wishes and ask his brother, before she can pester him more. He coughs. “Sho-san, would you like to try some of our dinner?”

Sho halts, eyes widening for a moment. “I?” he stutters. “Well… that’s really nice of you two, but I’m fine…”

Jun throws Kiko a glance. “See?” he whispers.

“He is lying,” Kiko urges quietly. “Believe me, I can never enter your house again if I eat all the delicious-looking gnoppis-“

“Gnocchi,” Jun corrects her.

“Whatever you want to call them.” Kiko makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. “When I eat all the wonderful things you made all by myself, he will die inwardly. Ask him again!”

“Fine, but if I embarrass myself, I’ll never cook for you again,” Jun huffs before he turns around to face Sho again. To his surprise he is still standing at the same spot, looking almost a bit hopeful. “There is plenty here,” Jun says casually.

“Tell him it would make you happy if he tried some of it,” Kiko whispers, like they are in theatre, and she is his prompter.

“Eh, and it would be a great honour if one of my brothers tried my creation.”

Kiko tilts her head, grinning a bit. “That’s not the wording I was going for, but well… it’s somewhat close.”

Sho’s head perks up much to Jun’s surprise. “Really?” he asks, stepping into the kitchen. “Well, if you insist…”

 

~~~

 

Masaki decides that he will bake for Jun for the last time! If his taste buds are really so high-class that he doesn’t even want to try his traditional mochi recipe, then so be it. It’s perfectly traditional and filled with red bean paste - and some he even dares to fill with a sweet sakura paste he found. And for himself – god forbid, dear Jun-san – he filled them with coconut cream. If Jun won’t even eat mochi, he will take it as it is… and he will just buy something lame then, instead of feeding someone ignorant with something he put effort into making.

“Can I try?” Satoshi asks curiously.

“Sure,” Masaki’s head perks up. “And tell me how it tastes! I’m not used to making them. Be brutally honest.” He hands Satoshi one of the mochi with red bean filling, making his brother’s eyes widen.

“You made something traditional?”

“Not all of them are,” Masaki stutters, wondering how his behaviour looks like to his brothers. “I’ve also some with coconut-filling and-“

“OH MY GOD,” Satoshi sighs happily, when he tries one of them. “They are so good.” He smiles at Masaki. “You are really trying hard.”

Masaki blushes. What is Satoshi thinking? That he wants to woo Jun or what? Why should he? “I am not-“

Unfortunately Shingo chooses exactly this moment to burst into the kitchen as well. “You are baking!” he exclaims happily. “For your awesome brothers, I assume?”

“No,” Satoshi looks at Shingo with one of these glances they sometimes share when they think Masaki doesn’t look at them. Something between all-knowing and oh-my-god-he-is-so-cute and he-is-growing-up. God, they are so embarrassing sometimes. “For Jun-kun,” Satoshi continues with emphasis on Jun.

“Ah.” Shingo smiles too now, and nods towards Satoshi with this knowing smile. What the hell? Do they really think he doesn’t realize?

“I’m just doing it to save my pride,” Masaki argues. “He didn’t touch any of my food up to now.”

“Still not?” Satoshi asks, obviously trying hard to wipe this annoying smile from his face. “Is he unfriendly towards you? If yes, I could say something to Sho.”

“Oh my god, don’t dare to,” Masaki says in panic.

“Yeah, it would totally make him look like a pathetic snitch,” Shingo agrees. “And then he would never be able to woo pretty-boy-kun.”

“I don’t want to woo anyone,” Masaki tries again with a sigh. “And he is not unfriendly towards me. We just… well… we are still searching for the right wave between each other.”

“You mean, you didn’t find a lot of similarities yet?” Shingo asks, taking a cup from the shelf and filling it with coffee. They are all coffee addicts and there is always warm coffee in their house.

“Not really,” Masaki admits.

“Do you know what he likes?” Shingo wants to know.

“No, he doesn’t talk much about himself,” Masaki admits. “And… I don’t know… I don’t want to push it.”

“You can only find similarities between each other if you try to,” Shingo says unusually earnest. “You are trying so hard with baking something he might like. Why don’t you go the easier route first and try to find out what he truly likes? Or his hobbies? Maybe you find similarities, or maybe you’ll find out he simply doesn’t like sweets?”

“What if he won’t answer?” Masaki wants to know.

“Every resistance crumbles at one point,” Satoshi intervenes. “It’s like a wall out of glass. Once you manage to put a crack into it, it will crumble more and more with every minute.”

“Wow,” Shingo teases, obviously gone back to his silly self. “That was deep Satoshi. Did you think of that yourself?”

Masaki has to chuckle too now.

“Hey you two idiots,” Satoshi huffs. “Show some common sense. I just wanted to help! Don’t laugh at me!”

“We are laughing with you,” Shingo tries to argue.

“I am NOT laughing though!” Satoshi pouts.

“Sorry, Sa-chan,” Masaki says and wraps his arms around Satoshi’s waist. “You are right though. I’ll try to find similarities between me and Jun-kun.”

When Shingo joins them and throws one of his huge arms around each of them, Satoshi sighs. “You two are never playing fair. Masaki is so nice, and Shingo is… just Shingo.”

Shingo laughs. “If I had a penny everytime someone says this…”

 

~~~

 

“Here is your coffee, sir,” a young guy, probably in his mid-twenties with a bright smile approaches Sho and puts a cup of coffee in front of him. He looks almost proud that he didn’t spill half of it over the table. There is something weird about this guy, weird as in… he seems all over the place, but in an alluring way. He is loud and shy at the same time. And he looks like he doesn’t wear a suit on a daily basis, still he works in a law office as an assistant. What is he doing in his free time?

“Thank you, Nishikido-kun,” Sho mumbles with a somewhat resigned sigh.

“Anything else I can do for you?” Nishikido asks full of motivation. He seems to take his work seriously, and Satoshi can’t help but to watch him. He wonders how it would be to paint him. He hasn’t made a painting from a model since years now, because no one really caught his interest that way. But he wonders what he would paint if this kid posed for him.

“Yes, prepare the folders for the Mikou-case for me. I will take a look at it this afternoon.”

This kid reminds him of his time at school when he was regularly meeting a young boy from hospital. A kid back then. He had these shining eyes, full of hope, and this bright smile, and this unbreakable resolve and faith. Like no one would be able to ever break him. Satoshi had a project for school in this hospital with kids being treated for severe illnesses, and though he was depressed and scared first because of all the sad stories and losses, he met this kid. The kid however never told him his name, just made up a game and asked Satoshi to call him Diamond Smile. Satoshi was called Water Coverage by him, whatever he meant by these names. He was into X-Men back then and thought it would be cool to be a super hero.

Satoshi smiles slightly. He wonders what happened to this kid. Is he still alive or did he die, like so many of these innocent children back then?

“Is everything alright?” Sho’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

Satoshi nods, trying to focus again. This is not the right time for thinking about the past, about his fears, how he didn’t keep in touch with this kid, although the kid wanted to and he too, and how he feels guilty because he run away from the truth back then – he didn’t want to see an innocent kid he cared for die. He didn’t want to lose someone to a sickness. He was such a wimp.

Satoshi sighs. No, this is too much coincidence anyway. And it’s also not the right time to think about painting anyone. He needs to stay focused. And he is meeting his friend now, really, no time for distraction.

 

~~~

Sho lets out a sigh of relief once Nishikido has hopped away cheerfully. What is with this guy? He applied to this job two weeks ago, actually not with the knowledge of an assistant, but Sho had enough of all the guys that pretended to know what they are doing, he felt frustrated that none of them actually tried before giving up, and he was and is stubborn enough that he decided he would hire the next person that at least showed a tiny bit motivation. It was this Nishikido Ryo. Now he is here, has no idea what he is doing – which means more work for Sho because he needs to teach him everything – but does everything with a hundred percent motivation. And he is still here.

“He is still around?” Satoshi asks with a grin once they are alone again. He is in weird moods sometimes, dozing off, but in general Sho simply likes him for his relaxed and honest attitude. He is one of the very few people that stuck to him and remained his friend. “Finally an assistant that doesn’t leave within a week. You are too scary.”

“It was silly of me to hire someone with not enough knowledge about the job,” Sho admits stirring in his coffee. The coffee is nice though.

“He seems to be a good guy though. And people can learn. Besides…” Satoshi smiles. “He is still around, isn’t he? Unlike the others.”

“Indeed,” Sho agrees. He is around. That’s definitely an improvement. “Am I really scary?” he wants to know.

“Not really,” Satoshi tells him honestly. “I mean, you seem to be caught in your thoughts sometimes, a little distanced. I guess people might find that scary sometimes. Only when they don’t know you.”

“Is that so?” Sho muses. He wonders if that’s the image his family and the maids at home have of him too. “By the way, are your brother and Jun getting along well? I hope there aren’t any problems.”

“Not at all,” Satoshi says, but he blushes a bit.

Sho catches his weird attitude immediately and assumes he doesn’t want to say the truth. He frowns. “Did something happen? Did Jun do something? If yes, I’ll have a talk with him.”

“No, no!” Satoshi shakes his head. “Really, Sho-san. Jun is very polite. He and Masaki are still trying to find something they share.”

Sho’s tension fades. Hm, he can live with that answer. “Say,” Sho sighs, stretching slightly. “Satoshi-san, how about we change location?” he asks all of a sudden. “We can go and eat out for my lunch break.”

“Sounds good,” Satoshi agrees. “There is a coffee shop close by. Masaki and his friend work there once a week. Should we go?”

Sho nods in relief. He loves his work, and he is very dedicated, but when he talks about more private stuff he prefers it to be somewhere else. The coffee shop Satoshi mentioned is indeed close by, only five to ten minutes from his office, it’s small and a little bit quirky and Sho would have never set a foot into it on his own.

“They serve little dishes too,” Satoshi explains while he sits down at an empty table. “Masaki told me it’s taco week.”

“Whatever,” Sho mumbles. “Just order something for the both of us. This is not really my metier, so I don’t know what to order anyway.”

“Do you want coffee with chocolate marshmallow topping?” Satoshi asks. “It’s new on the menu.”

Sho throws him a glance. Is this question supposed to be a joke?

“I get it. Black coffee, I assume.” Satoshi turns around and waves at a young guy, apparently working there. “Hey, Kazunari-kun.”

“Ah, Satoshi-kun!” the young guy approaches them.

Sho frowns. He knows that kid… He… Wait a moment. At the dance, the weird guy that got so upset because he mistook him for a waiter. “You?” he asks in surprise. Right. He doesn’t look like a waiter now, although he seems to work here. He is way too young probably.

Satoshi seems to be surprised too. “You know each other?”

Much to Sho’s astonishment this Kazunari blushes, and shakes his head frantically. “It’s not like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sho wants to know curiously. “I’ve never gotten the phrase: It’s not like that. What is it then?”

“But…” the guy stutters, his eyes wide-opened. He looks young. And he has these deer-like brown eyes, the ones Sho noticed immediately when he saw him for the first time. Eyes like amber. “I mean, we don’t know each other. We just coincidentally saw each other.”

“Is that so?” Satoshi asks, still surprised.

“At the dinner party,” Sho helps him.

The young guy closes his eyes. “This has to look weird to you,” he tries to explain. “Because I am working here, but at the party… I… I really…”

Sho chuckles. “It’s okay. I understand. At least somehow.”

“Let me introduce you properly,” Satoshi thankfully intervenes. “The young guy here is Ninomiya Kazunari, Masaki’s best friend. They know each other since years already. And this here-“ he points at Sho and looks at Nino. “-is Sho-san. He is Jun-kun’s older brother.”

“Ah, the brother of Masaki’s tutor,” Nino nods knowingly. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” Sho raises his eyebrows. “Did you talk to Jun about me?”

Much to his surprise Nino laughs. When Sho frowns, his laughter subsides though, and he shakes his head. “I haven’t met Jun-san yet.”

“Oh, such a pity,” Sho answers. His little brother is a good guy, he could definitely need a few more friends than Kiko and Shun. Why not befriending that self-confident little kid here? Well, the age difference between him and Jun would probably be a little bigger, but Jun won’t mind, he knows that. And he could need someone cheeky as a friend, someone like this Kazunari. “Why don’t you and Masaki-san drop by once?”

“Sorry.” Nino blinks in confusion. He throws a glance towards Satoshi which Sho doesn’t quite understand.

“We could also meet at our place,” Satoshi says hastily. “Well, the… it’s… easier to reach for Kazunari and Masaki. We are living closer to the…eh… centre.”

That’s true. Still, Satoshi’s way of voicing his point sounds fishy. “Are you officially inviting us?” Sho asks sceptically.

“Yes.”

“All of us?” When Satoshi blinks, Sho smiles knowingly. “How about you talk to your family first.” He turns to look at Nino thoughtfully. “And you are allowed to work here?”

“Hm?” Nino blinks. “Of course.”

“I hope your parents did check the contract properly?” Sho urges the issue. The safety of minors is important.

Satoshi looks at him a little dumbfounded. “Why?”

“A place that hires middle schoolers…” Sho muses. “There are specific rules to apply to. And Kazunari-kun’s safety is important, and…” His voice trails off as Satoshi throws him a glance of panic. He doesn’t quite understand it though, until Nino suddenly huffs and lets out a breath of deepest annoyance and frustration. “Is something wrong?” Sho asks in surprise.

“Forget it!” Nino hisses and stomps off.

Sho is surprised. That boy has a weird attitude. Jun would never behave like that. All Jun does is perfectly thought through, he is well-spoken and serious. Even as a teenager he wasn’t like this kid. He was always so good. “We didn’t even order yet,” Sho frowns.

Satoshi sighs. “Sho-san…” he mumbles. “Nino is Masaki’s friend from school. He is actually even one year older than Masaki.”

“Wait a moment.” Sho frowns. “Does that mean he is… even two years older than my little brother?”

Satoshi nods weakly. “He is looking really young. It’s his… well… weak point.”

Sho takes the information in for a while, then he snorts. “Seems like with this kid I can’t do anything right,” he states casually. When Satoshi throws him a confused glance, he makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Forget it.”

 

~~~

 

Masaki can’t help but stare at Jun’s lips. He has full and luscious lips – okay, this sounded dirty, even in his own mind, but he can’t help but notice, and the most wonderful thing is, he… finally… “You finally ate something I made,” Masaki exclaims happily. “I found something you like! From now on I’ll focus on mochi then.”

“I’m sure everything you baked was good,” Jun points out. “I…” he pauses.

“Hm?” Masaki wants to know.

“Nothing.”

Masaki blinks in confusion, but lets it slide. He is too happy that Jun finally ate one of his creations. And seemed to like it on top of that. Finally! Shingo and Satoshi were right – he shouldn’t give up so easily.

Talking about giving up. “I’ll have an exam… I think… next week.”

Jun’s eyes snap open. “You… what!? And why are you telling me that only now?” he huffs angrily.

Masaki is surprised by Jun showing his anger so openly. He was always very controlled up to now. To see him actually dropping his mask… is… relieving and kind of interesting. “Sorry,” Masaki chuckles while he looks into his schedule. “I meant, two weeks.”

Jun’s tension fades. “Two weeks?”

“Yes.”

Jun sighs. “Seriously, you need to tell me these things earlier, so that we can prepare you well,” he huffs. “I mean, your grades are important!”

Masaki checks Jun’s face properly. He is looking all serious again, and although he is right, Masaki just wishes to be able to tell him that studying is not everything and that he should find joy in other things too. Because it doesn’t look like Jun is having fun… in general… with anything. It’s almost like he is instantly detached. How does no one else actually notice how detached he is!? It’s quite alarming actually. Why is no one worried? “I’ve missed a lot,” Masaki hears himself say, much to his own surprise. “I mean, you know that I did. But at one point I lost control over it, that’s what led me to this situation. During the last two weeks I tried to get my schedule together again, which is why I just realized that there is an exam coming.” He pauses. “I wonder if I can actually do this exam or if I should do it next term.”

“Try it,” Jun says quietly, looking surprisingly open all of a sudden. “We’ll give our best and concentrate on this exam of yours. At least try.”

“I don’t want to disappoint my brothers,” Masaki admits. “Or you. Because after all you put a lot of effort into this here or rather into me.”

Jun says quiet. “I’ve lactose intolerance,” he finally says, so much out of the blue that Masaki has to gather his senses for a moment.

Masaki needs quite a while to understand what he is talking about. “What…”

“I… sometimes eat things with cow milk, but only when I’m at home, because I feel sick easily then. Even when it’s just butter…”

Something rings in Masaki’s ear. Does this mean… Jun couldn’t eat his cookies before? “You should have told me so earlier!” Masaki exclaims. “I was pestering you with my cookies, and thought you didn’t like them or you didn’t eat them because you hate me. You should have told me, really.”

Jun nods. “Yes, I should have.”

Masaki blushes slightly. That’s new. The path their talk was going to. “You think I can make it?”

“There is never a one hundred percent certainty,” Jun admits quietly. “But we should try. You are smart enough to catch on fast.”

Masaki smiles. “Then I’ll try full-heartedly. How long are you free today? Our lesson is almost over.”

“I have nothing to do tonight,” Jun admits.

Eh? On a Saturday evening? Is this guy ever having fun actually? “Are you having dinner with your brothers?”

Jun chuckles, and Masaki wonders why his question is so funny. “No.”

“Why don’t we extend our lesson and then you stay for dinner?” Masaki offers.

“What?” Jun blinks in surprise. “But I don’t want to put extra work on you and-“

“Yeah, yeah,” Masaki interrupts him and opens the door of his room. “SHINGO! Jun’s staying over for dinner. So, make an extra pizza!” He is about to close the door before he remembers something important. “No cow milk products though. Jun’s allergic!”

“GOT IT!” Shingo’s voice comes yelling from the other side of the apartment.

“Everything is settled, see?” Masaki grins.

“You settle things fast,” Jun stutters.

Masaki chuckles. For once he actually feels content with how a meeting with Jun went. Was about time always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a step closer? What do you say? To be honest, I'm rather worried about how Sho and Nino at this moment. *lol* Anyone else think that Sho is a bit awkward around his family? I mean, just say you want to eat something :D They really have difficulties reading each others' moods.  
> Shingo and Takuya met too. Sorry for the comedic relief, but Shingo is such a thankful victim when it's about comedy ^^


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun is invited for dinner at Masaki&brothers. Nino tries to explain Masaki's outburst to Jun, but new misunderstandings happen. Ryo makes another appereance... in a different job than Sho's assistance. And we have Shingo fantasizing over butts.

“Do you… I mean, maybe, want to go to a concert with me and Nino once?” Masaki asks Jun, much to his surprise.  
  
Masaki’s oldest brother has just called them to the table. Masaki’s friend – Ninomiya? – is there too, apparently he is visiting them quite often. “A concert?” Jun asks in surprise, not sure how to react. What is he supposed to do or say now? Masaki hates him! He said he did during the dinner party. Why should he go to a concert with them? Why would he even invite him?  
  
Much to his surprise Ninomiya sends him a begging glance, another thing Jun doesn’t quite understand. He is almost relieved when he receives a call from Takuya and can leave the room for a moment to answer it. It’s nothing major, just that Takuya is on business a trip and will only come back tomorrow evening.  
  
When Jun hangs up and turns around, he almost drops back in surprise. It’s Nino standing in front of him. “Ninomiya-san?” he asks, sighing deeply. That dude almost gave him a heart-attack.  
  
“Could you…” the guy stutters. “Maybe not call me like that. It feels weird. Call me Nino, like anyone else does. Or Kazu. Or anything, but not by my full name.”  
  
“But…”  
  
“Masaki didn’t mean it,” Nino tells him hastily, looking around like he is scared someone might hear them. “What you heard in the restroom that evening, I know you won’t believe me, but he didn’t mean it.”  
  
“He is always really honest,” Jun says with a frown.  
  
“Yes, but…” Nino sighs. “He was angry with other things. Join us for a concert, okay?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Jun admits honestly, not sure what to think or believe. His stomach clenches a bit, like always when he thinks about how a kind-hearted guy like Masaki obviously despises him.  
  
“Please, only once! Don’t make me beg, okay? I’m doing this for Masaki and because I know that he would be hell of upset if he knew that you heard what he said. He would basically drown himself in guilt and cry and-”  
  
“Okay,” Jun interrupts him. “But please stop talking.”  
  
Nino grins. “I’m awesome, aren’t I?”  
  
Jun inwardly rolls his eyes. “Yeah,” he says. This guy is interesting though, it’s hard to tell why he does or say things, but his friendship to Masaki seems to be really important to him.  
  
When they come back to the kitchen table, there is the biggest mess ever happening there. At least Jun has never seen a bigger mess. The three brothers try to carry the oversized pizzas – who is supposed to eat all that? – to the table. They are giggling and swaying dangerously while doing so.  
  
Jun and Nino hurry to their help. Once everything is settled on the table and everyone of them has a few pieces of pizza in front of them – without lactose for Jun – Jun lets out a relieved sigh. No one got hurt in the process of these chaotic brothers handling their dinner.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Masaki is a little surprised that Nino and Jun returned to the room together. It feels weird. Did they talk? And why? Do they know each other? He has never thought about it, but Nino goes to college too after all, and he might share a class with Jun. And… what the hell… is he a bit jealous?  
  
Satoshi turns to Jun with a huge smile. “Sorry for the mess,” he smiles. “It’s for sure the same at your place.”  
  
“No,” Jun says quietly. “Not at all.”  
  
“Are your brothers so busy?” Shingo wants to know.  
  
Jun shrugs. “It’s just… we never really laugh or do something together.”  
  
Something about the way he says it makes Aiba’s stomach clench. Hence he doesn’t even question his intuition and just goes with the flow. “Why don’t we meet up together?” he says casually. “I mean, we haven’t really seen the others up to now, and I would love to meet them. We could invite them for dinner maybe.”  
  
By the gaze Satoshi throws him, he knows he said the right thing. “Yes,” Satoshi agrees immediately. “Recently I talked to Sho about it too. That would be lovely.”  
  
“Only if you bring your cute older brother along, Jun-kun” Shingo intervenes with a grin.  
  
Jun stares at him in honest shock. “Which one of my brothers do you estimate as cute!?” he asks, eyes wide, while Nino giggles slightly.  
  
“What? Of course one of them is,” Shingo points out. “The one with the hot butt.”  
  
“I don’t particularly check out my brothers’ butts,” Jun explains, something about the way he looks sincerely shocked is almost cute. “And none of them is even remotely cute. God, I don’t even know which choice would be the worst in terms of cuteness.”  
  
“How about Sho-san?” Masaki wants to know, going for the first name that comes to his mind.  
  
“Hell, no.” Jun grunts in displeasure. “Sho is smart and intelligent, but he is the least cutest being in the universe.”  
  
“Can’t be true,” Shingo grins. “I’m sure he is sweet.”  
  
“Not at all,” Jun intervenes, making Masaki grin slightly.  
  
Much to his surprise though Nino nods too. “I’m with Jun-kun here,” he argues. “Cute is the wrong word.”  
  
Since when does Nino know Sho? What’s going on here?  
  
“And the other one?” Satoshi asks curiously. “Takuya-san?”  
  
“The one with the butt!” Shingo intervenes.  
  
“So he is the cute one?” Masaki wants to know.  
  
“Eh,” Jun blinks. “There are many words to describe him, but I’m not sure if cute is one of them.”  
  
“However, I know a cute butt when I see one,” Shingo argues, and grins. “You, Jun-kun, have a very nice butt too, right Masaki?”  
  
“WHAT!?” Masaki exclaims in shock, horrified by Shingo embarrassing him again. Nino meanwhile breaks down laughing, while Satoshi tries to hide his grin. Shingo throws a suggestive wink at Jun, who blushes slightly.  
  
This has to be the weirdest dinner ever, and the biggest catastrophe ever. He almost expects Jun to get up at one point and leave because they are such a mess and their behaviour is so incorrect. Much to Masaki’s surprise though Jun doesn’t get up and leave, he actually gradually loosens up. He is even smiling here and there, he seems to weirdly like Shingo’s comments, and even talks to Nino sometimes.  
  
Masaki doesn’t like what he feels. He is not a jealous or envious person at all, but something inside him wishes that Jun would smile like that at him and not at someone else. Not even when it’s one of his brothers or his best friend. It’s weird to think it… but it makes him sad. He wants to break Jun’s walls so badly and make him open up, he should be happy that it really is happening the way he wants it to. Still… it feels a bit weird.  
  
Masaki sighs slightly. What the hell is even wrong with him?  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
The next days Jun is busy with his own exams. He has two right after another, and he didn’t hit a full score on the last one of his economics class, so he wants to hit 100 percent this time.  
  
He is sporting a headache quite often recently and he isn’t sleeping well, again. His nights are restless, and the recurring nightmare he has since years is back once more, more often this time. Hence he didn’t even go to sleep yet, he is still sitting over his books, trying to distract himself by studying and reading the most difficult paragraphs in his book over and over again. When the throbbing headache doesn’t stop, he decides to go downstairs to the kitchen and grab himself a glass of water and some painkillers.  
  
He meets Sho there. _Again_. He wonders if stumbling over each other in the middle of the night, in need of a glass of water, is some weird brotherly thing they had going. “Sho-san,” Jun greets politely.  
  
“Ah, Jun.” Sho nods and steps to the side to let Jun through to the kitchen. They don’t talk while Jun takes a glass and fills it with water. Then to his surprise Sho breaks the silence again. “Say Jun… You are nice to Masaki-kun, aren’t you?” Sho asks in this tone that Jun has difficulties reading.  
  
“What do you mean?” Jun wants to know, not able to hide the slightly annoyed tone. They are standing here at around 1AM and Sho wants to talk about Masaki?  
  
Sho looks at him in surprise. “I was just asking a question. “  
  
“No, you weren’t. You implied that I was not nice to him,” Jun states, trying to sound as calm as possible. By the frown that graces Sho’s face he probably failed at remaining a casual tone.  
  
“I don’t understand the problem,” Sho argues, apparently too surprised to take a step back.  
  
“Yeah,” Jun mumbles grimly and throws an ice-cube into the water. “I know. What a surprise.”  
  
“Hey!” Sho huffs. “Don’t talk to me in that tone!”  
  
Jun spins around. “What is your problem? I-“  
  
He is about to throw it at Sho’s head when he hears the door to the kitchen getting opened. “What are you two arguing about in the middle of the night?” Takuya wants to know, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. He looks at Sho first then at Jun. “Is it something important?”  
  
Jun is not sure if it is. He also isn’t sure how to answer Takuya now. Not in the middle of the night, when he feels crappy and is in his worst mood ever. Because no matter how bad his or Sho’s mood is, Takuya’s can get worse.  
  
“Hello?” Takuya blinks. “Any answer? What were you arguing about?” He looks at Sho. “Did you want to scold Jun for something he did?”  
  
“No,” Sho answers quietly. “It was a misunderstanding. It’s my fault.”  
  
“Really?”   
  
Sho nods, much to Jun’s dismay. He doesn’t even know why it annoys him though. “I wanted to know something, and it came out wrong. It was also the wrong time.”  
  
Takuya takes the information in for a moment, then he sighs deeply. “Is that so, Jun?” he wants to know.  
  
“I guess,” Jun mumbles quietly.  
  
“Fine,” Takuya sighs. “Then from now on behave better towards each other. Anything else you need to talk about?”  
  
“No,” Sho says. “It’s okay.”  
  
Jun swallows. He feels like he wants to say a lot, but he doesn’t know what and how. He isn’t sure if he could voice it. But it’s the first time in a long time that he actually feels like he is bursting with something, and just wants to yell it out into the world. But he can’t. He doesn’t even know why he feels so frustrated and annoyed at the moment.  
  
Maybe it’s the headache. Yes, it probably is.  
  
Takuya looks at them for a while, then he sighs slightly. “Alright. Then let’s go to bed now, and forget this here.”  
  
Jun throws a glance at Sho. Secretly so that Sho won’t realize. Sho takes his cup with tea and is about to leave when he looks at Jun too. For a moment it seems like he wants to say something, but then he just smiles carefully.  
  
Jun takes his glass with water and walks back to his bedroom. Sho probably didn’t even have ill intentions before. He doesn’t even understand why he snapped at him like that. It’s not like him at all.  
  
  
~~~  
  
“This is so not like him,” Sho repeats for the tenth time while he puts a few books into the shelf.  
  
“Still the old story?” Takuya wants to know while he shifts his attention towards a few documents in one of the folders.  
  
“It’s not an old story,” Sho intervenes softly. “It happened two nights ago. It’s probably been my fault for real. I wanted to know if he and Masaki get along, and he obviously felt I was cornering him.”  
  
“Maybe you did,” Takuya says in a matter-of-fact-tone.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Maybe you hit a sore point,” Takuya explains impatiently. “That’s why he felt cornered. Not that the timing was appropriate though. It’s no surprise that he jumped at you.”  
  
“I really didn’t think at that time,” Sho defends himself. “And besides, Satoshi-kun told me that the kids are not sharing many similarities but are coping well with each other.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell Jun that?” Takuya wants to know. “Would have been a better start than to just ask him something out of the blue.”  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Sho sighs. “I’m so bad with voicing my feelings. I am, right?”  
  
Takuya sighs slightly. “Sometimes I think you are,” he admits. Sho doesn’t feel mad at it though, he is actually glad when someone is being honest with him for once.  
  
“Satoshi-kun thinks they are going to open up to each other soon. He thinks their little issues are nothing major.”  
  
Takuya tilts his head, his brown hair swinging slightly. “I’m sure your Satoshi-san is really reliable and honest, but he probably has no idea what his little brother really feels or does,” he says much to Sho’s surprise.  
  
“But they have a great relationship with each other.” Sho points out and the knowledge that Satoshi and Masaki love each other so dearly stings a little, because damn it, Jun would probably never share a problem with him.  
  
“Still, he might not know what their little brother really thinks and worries about. I’ve not met Masaki yet, but I’ve met his oldest brother, and he has said some interesting things, probably without realizing he did. No one is so happy-go-lucky without a reason. And I’m sure Masaki’s brothers don’t really know what bothers him deeply,” Takuya analyses, and his ability to hit the nail on its head sends shivers down Sho’s spine. “Because…” He turns to look at Sho. “What do we know, Sho? About our Jun?”  
  
“Nothing, Takuya-san,” Sho admits quietly. “We don’t know anything.”  
  
“Right.” Takuya looks up, and smiles. “Don’t worry too much, Sho. It’s not your fault.”  
  
“I’m not sure,” Sho mumbles, feeling a twinge of guilt. It was really a bad timing, and Jun looked tired. Of course he thought Sho was accusing him of something. And even if Jun and Masaki had problems, it’s none of his business. Jun is a good kid, he is for sure trying his best to make things go well.  
  
“You do know we live in one house,” Takuya says, a hint of teasing in his voice. “You can always talk to each other if it bothers you. Anytime.”  
  
Sho smiles. He can, or maybe not. It’s difficult to explain that to Takuya though, hence he just nods. “Do you need help with rearranging the rest of these documents?” he asks. He has met Takuya to go through some of their older family documents and account statements. Some of the inheritance of their father was still not sorted although he already died a few years ago.  
  
“Thank you,” Takuya smiles. “But I think for now it’s enough. You’ve spent too much of your free time on this already. Let’s continue with it next week.”  
  
Sho nods, actually relieved. He has spent most of his free day now in this dusty environment. The more he is relieved when he can finally step outside into the fresh air. It’s a bit cold, but it doesn’t matter. It’s just nice to breathe something that is not covered in dust.  
  
He is strolling through the park, not really watching his surroundings when he feels someone bumping against him and hears a sudden squeal. He blinks in confusion, looking down to his feet and only then realizing a young guy with black hair kneeling there, rubbing his shoulder. “Ninomiya-kun?” Sho’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry, let me help you.”  
  
Nino throws him a deathly glare. “Can’t you watch your step?”  
  
Sho is amazed, weirdly drawn by how unfriendly this guy can be. “You really are getting easily irritated,” he points out. “Jun would never react like you do or say things you say.”  
  
“Yes, that’s the problem! You are just being spoiled by Jun, this poor guy,” Nino retorts.  
  
Sho blushes. Is that true? Maybe? He lets out a sigh. “I don’t seem to can do things right when it’s about you…” he pauses. “Or rather when it’s about anyone at the moment.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Nino says, suddenly looking a bit softer. “I was overreacting,” he admits.  
  
“Hm,” Sho checks him from head to toe, before he nods firmly. “Let’s go.”  
  
Nino blinks. “Where to?”  
  
“Somewhere to eat lunch.” Sho reaches out his hand to grab Nino’s arm and help him up his feet. “You unfortunately dropped your bento box when you fell to the ground.”  
  
“ _I_ dropped my bento box?” Nino pulls his eyebrows up.  
  
Sho blinks. “What do you mean?” He frowns, deciding to finally use one of his lawyer strategies. “This is exactly why I invite you out. Or do you really need me to say that I ran against you and it’s my fault that you don’t have anything to eat?”  
  
Nino shakes his head, blushing slightly, and Sho almost feels a bit guilty for talking to him in his typical lawyer tone. But to his surprise it seems to work because Nino grabs his stuff and follows him, all in a good mood suddenly. It’s almost cute. “What do you want to eat?” Sho asks, a lot friendlier this time. “Is there anything you like, Ninomiya-kun?”  
  
“I…” Nino blushes. “You’ll think it’s weird.”  
  
“Yeah,” Sho chuckles. “That’s probably true.”  
  
Much to his surprise Nino laughs lightly. It doesn’t happen often that someone finds something he says funny. He almost has to hold back a proud smile. Probably something he should write into his diary (not that he is ever going to tell someone that he writes one). “I like fast food.”  
  
“You mean like… McDonald’s?” Sho asks, not able to hide the tinge of horror in his voice.  
  
“Not necessarily. But there is a great burger restaurant around the corner,” Nino offers, eyeing him carefully. “But if you don’t want to, we can also-“  
  
“Do they serve the burgers on a plate? With a fork and knife?” Sho interrupts him.  
  
Nino nods.  
  
“Then let’s go.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
“Do you want to eat something?” Masaki bites in a huge hot dog, sighing happily.  
  
“No thanks, I had a late lunch today,” Nino says, not able to hold back the dorky grin on his face. Who knew that this weird serious Sho-san could be so… well… okay, serious and strict, but also so silly? Having lunch with him was awkward as hell, but also kind of fun. And at the end of it Sho even handed him his business card in case he needs something. And Nino handed him his own contacts in return because that’s just what you have to do.  
  
“You look kind of happy,” Masaki points out. “Did something good happen?”  
  
Nino blinks. “No,” he stutters. “Nothing special.” The music on stage stops and the band goes on their break. It’s one of these little rock-ish bars again, which they frequent when they visit concerts, and the band that’s playing is this cool guitar-band from last week.  
  
One of the guys from stage joins them at the hot dog stand. “Has one of you guys fire?” he asks, angling for his cigarette.  
  
“You will ruin your voice with smoking,” Masaki lectures him with a grin.  
  
Nino rolls his eyes and takes his lighter. “Here.” He waits until the guy lights his cigarette. It’s one of the front men, not the weird screaming one that was jumping on his piano last time, but the one that does the acoustic guitar versions. “How long are you playing already?” Nino wants to know.  
  
“Since I’m a little kid,” the guy explains with a broad grin.  
  
“And can you live from your music?” Masaki asks.  
  
“Hell no,” the guy laughs. “I’ve a real job too.” He reaches out his hand. “By the way, I’m Ryo.”  
  
“Masaki,” Masaki answers with a grin. “And that’s Nino. Nice to meet you. Want to have a drink with us?”  
  
His ability to collect stray cats and alike is really something, Nino thinks in amazement. And he pulls it off in a way that doesn’t even make it sound weird. He just wonders where Masaki’s attitude actually comes from – this deep wish inside him to help everyone.  
  
Ryo smirks. “I’d love to, but I need to be on stage in a few minutes. I guess throwing up into the crowd won’t add to my charm. I’m supposed to sell the sexy image after all.”  
  
“Well,” Nino snorts. “The competition isn’t too hard.”  
  
Ryo laughs, much to Nino’s surprise. It’s obviously hard to really upset him. “True. Still,” He winks before he puts out his cigarette and leaves. “None of you has seen me naked yet. I am hot!”  
  
“Then join us after the concert. We’ll be waiting here.” Masaki laughs. Ryo nods and jumps back on stage, grabbing his guitar again. “He has also the self-confidence of a lion.”  
  
“Yep,” Nino agrees. When the band starts playing again, they soon get swept along by the music. This Ryo is good, he has this husky voice and this intense look in his eyes. That’s probably why there are quite some chics around too today.  
  
Both he and Masaki believe he would forget their drink-date afterwards, but to their surprise he really joins them once the concert is over, his guitar bag in his hands, dressed in jeans and a casual t-shirt now. They visit a bar that’s close by and a little more quiet.  
  
“By the way,” Masaki suddenly exclaims when Ryo went to the restroom, grabbing Nino’s arm. “He ate something I cooked.”  
  
“Who?” Nino asks dumbfounded.   
  
“Jun-san!” Masaki explains with a  bright smile. It’s so dazzling that for a moment Nino has to return it. Masaki is such a good person, really. “And he finally told me why he couldn’t eat my cookies! He can’t eat milk products such as butter! Isn’t it great that he finally said something about it? Maybe he was just feeling embarrassed or thought I would be upset or something like that…”  
  
Nino feels a twinge of guilt all of a sudden. He hasn’t told Masaki that Jun heard them during the dinner party, to be honest he doesn’t know how to tell him. Masaki would feel bad about it for sure. He hardly talks bad about someone anyway, and at this time he just needed to vent his frustration with the whole situation and himself. And out of all it had to be this moment that Jun had to be around too.  
  
Masaki eyes him carefully. “Nino, you are weird recently…” he says softly. “Also during the dinner with my family. You suddenly disappeared with Jun. Do you know each other? You know, I’m not mad or anything... But…”  
  
Eh, what? What? WHAT?  
  
“Say,” Masaki looks at him earnestly. “There is something going on between you and Jun, right?”  
  
“Me and…” Nino’s eyes widen in surprise. “No!” Is this how it looked like when he talked to Jun? No! How can Masaki even believe that he would secretly snatch the guy Masaki was interested in. Of course Masaki never said something up to now, but there has to be a reason that he gets so upset over something so tiny Jun says or does. Jun got under his skin. And as long as Nino doesn’t know what this means, he would never make a move on Jun. Besides that he doesn’t even want to make a move! He is not his type. His type is round faced, and not too skinny. He doesn’t want someone who is really into sports and stuff like that, but someone older, who is not partying all the time and likes to stay at home, someone with a job who has his act together. Someone serious with…  
  
He blushes at his own thoughts.  
  
“You are having this weird look again,” Masaki says carefully.  
  
Nino swallows. “Masaki,” he says. “Listen, I’m not interested-“  
  
“Hey, I’m back,” Ryo interrupts them and jumps to sit down on his seat. “I ordered mojito for you.”  
  
“Awesome, thank you!” Masaki grins. “Say, you told us you are having a real job too?”  
  
“Yep.” Ryo nods.  
  
“What are you working as?” Masaki asks curiously.  
  
“As a lawyer assistant,” Ryo says casually. “At the Kimura-Yodogawa law firm.”  
  
At the Kimura… Nino’s eyes widen. It’s the same name as on Sho’s card. Does that mean? “What’s the name of your boss?” he asks breathlessly.  
  
“Sho-san~” Ryo explains, smiling dorkily. “I don’t even know why he hired me.”  
  
Nino stares at the guy in deepest surprise. That’s too much of a coincidence for one day, really. Ryo works for Sho? So, does that mean he can meet Sho again when he… for example… visits Ryo at work or meets him there….  
  
Does that mean he wants to see Sho again?  
  
“Oh my god,” Nino breaths out. “I’m getting a headache.”  
  
Ryo chuckles, like he can read his thoughts. He is just glad that Masaki apparently didn’t quite follow their talk. He is checking his phone occasionally, like he is waiting for a message or wondering if he should answer or write one. Nino wishes he would. There is nothing wrong with befriending Jun, there is also nothing wrong with having feelings for Jun. Masaki should just follow his intuition like he always does. Why is he so uncertain now?  
  
Nino bites down on his lips. And now he thinks he is having something going with Jun. He needs to tell Masaki the truth, fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think all I can say for now is: Poor Nino. On one hand there is Sho, who gets on his nerves (a bit), then he wants to help Masaki with Jun, meanwhile Masaki believes Nino likes Jun :D  
> But it seems like Jun had fun at the casual dinner with Masaki&co? Although Shingo complimented his and Takuya's butt :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Nino tell Masaki the truth? We have a lot of JunxMasaki interaction here. And... someone else in this story is actually going to make a move on... someone ;-)

 

 

“Okay, tell us again…” Kame says with a frown once he comes to Masaki’s place together with Kazama and sits down in the living room next to Nino, listening to Ryo playing the guitar. “Where did you two find this guy again?”

 

“At his concert,” Nino analyses dryly. “He is hot and knows how to sing and play. Of course we had to pick him up.”

 

“Awesome,” Kazama answers teasingly. “Another stray cat?”

 

“Hey,” Kame pouts. “I for one never was a stray cat.”

 

“Oh please,” Nino snorts. “Beautiful but misunderstood Kamenashi, unlike his tough exterior so sensitive. With no friends, until Masaki found him.”

 

Kame blushes deeply. “That’s not true,” he stutters, fumbling around with his sleeve. Masaki instantly feels sorry for Nino’s teasing.

 

“It’s because you are cute,” he offers. “Cats are cute.”

 

Nino’s lips tug into a smile, while Kame giggles all of a sudden. “Fine, then I’ll be a stray cat. As long as I’m allowed to have claws.”

 

“But he-“ Kazama points at Ryo, who is humming a rockish sounding ballad at the moment. “-does not look like he is a stray cat.”

 

“No,” Nino muses. “He isn’t. He is cool though.”

 

Masaki looks at Nino in interest. He is pretty sure that Nino doesn’t have a crush on Ryo, still there was a moment when they went for a drink together when Ryo and Nino shared a weird glance like they understood something. Ryo works for Sho-san, doesn’t he? So maybe he also knows Jun? Masaki sighs, he should probably start to help his best friend to get together with his new-found love and not be awkwardly and weirdly jealous. It’s not like he likes Jun or anything.

 

He decides to tell Nino his new-found resolve immediately, looking for him in the kitchen where he is preparing some drinks. “Kazu,” Masaki says earnestly. “You know, I won’t be in your way if you like Jun-san. I don’t have feelings for him or anything.”

 

Nino’s eyes widen. “What?” he presses out.

 

Masaki frowns. “You don’t need to hide it anymore.”

 

“What am I hiding?” Nino blurts out, apparently completely in denial.

 

Masaki starts losing his patience. “Your feelings! I know that you’re keeping something from me. I don’t know why you do it, but you don’t need to. If you like Jun-san, I’ll support you of course.”

 

“I don’t like Jun-san,” Nino says with so much emphasis that it’s almost believable.

 

Just that Masaki remembers the weird glance these two shared when Jun ate dinner with them, and how they seemed to understand each other even without words. “You know what,” he huffs in frustration, if Nino wants to play dumb, please. “Do what you want to.”

 

He is about to leave, when he feels Nino’s hand around his wrist, tugging him back. “He heard us!” Nino blurts out all of a sudden.

 

Masaki blinks in surprise. “Who?”

 

“Jun!”

 

“And what did he hear?” Masaki asks curiously. Nino looks really uncomfortable all of a sudden, and slowly the same feeling starts to crawl down Masaki’s spine. “Kazu, what did he hear? Please tell me.”

 

“What we talked about at the dinner party,” Nino admits quietly.

 

“At the…”

 

“When we went to the toilet.”

 

Masaki stares at Nino for a few seconds, slowly letting his words sink in and giving his mind the chance to grasp it.  Then he understands. Oh my… NO! “Oh my god!” he breaths out. “NO!”

 

Nino shifts around nervously. “He did.”

 

“Everything?” Masaki asks breathlessly.

 

“Yes, he was at the toilet when we came to the restrooms,” Nino explains hastily. “At the evening we ate with your brothers I tried to tell him that he shouldn’t take anything too seriously, you know? He begged me not to tell you… and… well… that’s it.”

 

Masaki sways a bit at this news. He has never ever badmouthed someone, and the first time he does, the person is right next to him. And he didn’t even mean everything he said, he was just so frustrated with himself and the situation, and with feeling inferior to Jun who seems so certain of everything, so pretty and so smart.

 

“Masaki,” Nino begs. “Say something.”

 

“I need to sit down,” Masaki stutters, thankfully accepting Nino’s hand when the latter leads him to one of the kitchen chairs and pours him a drink.

 

“He didn’t seem to be angry though,” Nino obviously tries to cheer him up.

 

“Of course not!” Masaki mumbles. “Because he was hurt. In such a case you are either hurt or angry.”

 

“It wasn’t that bad what you said,” Nino tries it further. “I mean, he knows that you were angry at other things, not at him. And I told him too.”

 

“Kazu,” Masaki says earnestly. “If I heard someone say all that about me, I would be totally crushed, and you could come and wipe the floor with the remaining pieces of my heart.”

 

“Now you are overreacting,” Nino chuckles.

 

“But what am I going to do now!?” Masaki wants to know, looking at his friend through questioning eyes. “I need to… I mean, should I talk to him? No surprise he was kind of reserved when I wanted him to go out with us.”

 

“Hm,” Nino hums. “How about we try it one more time? Ask him again? Now that you know, you can be more persistent.”

 

Masaki frowns. “Persistent,” he muses. “It’s not really my thing, and I don’t know how it works… it’s…” he pauses. Shingo though, Shingo knows how to be persistent and how to make people warm up to him. He is like the master of persistence! What would Shingo do? Masaki considers his options for a moment, then he grins. “I’ve an idea.”

 

“Awesome. What is it?”

 

“Are you free tomorrow?” Masaki wants to know. When Nino nods, he chuckles. “Let’s make a little day trip tomorrow.”

 

~~~

 

 

“Jesus Christ,” Takuya exclaims tiredly when he sees a now well-known tall and pretty broad figure approaching him. “It’s him again. Higashiyama-san, tell me how to get out of this again”

 

Higashiyama, who joined him for dinner, laughs. “Isn’t he a good guy though?” he asks. “Most people who do business with him point out how honest and reliable he is.”

 

“And loud.” Takuya grumbles, eyeing Shingo sceptically. He has fulfilled his promise to him and helped Shingo out once he gave him a call. He just hasn’t expected him to never leave again and to cling to Takuya from then on. As always Shingo is sporting a bright smile, and he has dyed his hair in adventurous silver. That he comes off as serious in his business with his kind of style is the biggest surprise for Takuya.

 

“That too.” Higashiyama chuckles. “You should pull him on board for your nature awareness project,” he points out. “Someone as outgoing and overly confident as him, and someone as serious and well-respected as you could definitely get that project going far.”

 

Takuya looks up from his drink, frowning slightly. “We should work together? You are kidding, aren’t you?” Higashiyama is the only person from his father’s old empire he actually likes. The only one he would ever take advice from. Also it helps that Higashiyama hated his father, and opposed him everywhere he could. Good for him that he is a genius in his field and his father felt weirdly attracted to his brain.

 

“Maybe I am,” Higashiyama muses while he watches how Shingo waves at them. “Maybe not. I’m not sure either. I just happen to think that you and your brothers need a bit more fun in your life.”

 

Takuya’s senses are awake immediately. “My brothers?” he asks sharply.

 

“Didn’t skip your attention, huh?” Higashiyama sighs like he just mentioned Sho and Jun accidentally. “Sho-kun learned a lot over the last couple of years, he tries hard, almost too hard though, which is why he gets misunderstood so often. People think he is judging them, while he just tries to be considerate,” he analyses.

 

“Sho is smart,” Takuya defends his brother immediately. “Sometimes he puts his head too much into things instead of his heart. He never means bad, it’s just that he is really bad with voicing his feeling. But he improved so much.”

 

“I know, I know,” Higashiyama soothes him. “Don’t bite my head off, honey.”

 

Takuya chuckles. The fact that Higashiyama is still treating him like a young 15-year old is amusing him. “And Jun?” he wants to know.

 

“Hm,” Higashi hums. “I’m just curious, but does he ever go out?”

 

“He was at the dinner party last week,” Takuya points out.

 

“Okay, let me rephrase my question: Does he ever go out without being invited to an obligatory event? And not with Kiko-san and Shun-san – they are his childhood friends and from the same environment. Does he meet other people? Is he actually having fun sometimes?”

 

“He doesn’t like to go out,” Takuya answers warily, though he isn’t even sure if that’s the truth.

 

“Hm.” Higashiyama makes, and it sounds more than a bit sceptical. “Did he ever come home too late?”

 

“No,” Takuya answers immediately.

 

“And did he ever tell you guys that he doesn’t want to do something, or that he disagrees?” Higashiyama wants to know.

 

Weirdly enough Takuya’s mind goes back to that evening when he surprised Sho and Jun in the kitchen. He thought he was able to settle their little fight, but he still remembers Jun’s look. His eyebrows were furrowed, and it looked like he held back a lot not to say anything. “No,” he answers honestly. “I can’t remember that he ever did.”

 

“And you really find that normal?” Higashiyama wants to know.

 

Takuya doesn’t know what to answer to that, to be honest he has no idea what is supposed to be normal or not. “I want them to be happy,” he finally admits earnestly. “All I want for Sho and Jun is to be happy. They went through a lot.”

 

“Yes,” Higashiyama answers seriously. “But don’t forget that you went through a lot too. Try to make them happy, and try to make yourself happy too.”

 

Takuya wants to say something, but his eyes meet Shingo again, who is approaching them  directly now. He has thought that he met someone else and got distracted, but unfortunately not. “Here it comes… The reason why I would like to bolt now.”

 

Before any of them can say something Shingo has already reached them. “Hello beautiful men,” he exclaims cheerfully. “Judging by your dazzling beauty I’m sure you aren’t free this evening, but if you won’t mind I would like to sit down with you.”

 

Takuya cringes. Where does this guy get his cheesy lines from? Much to his dismay Higashiyama chuckles though and offers Shingo a seat. “Please, young man,” he says with a smile. “Enlighten us with your good mood.”

 

Takuya sighs inwardly, already preparing himself for a long and dreading evening. He doesn’t even have the strength to throw Higashiyama a deathly glare. Shocked he realizes that the older man even decides he needs to go to another meeting, and leaves them alone. Alone, with this annoyingly cheerful guy.

 

He needs a drink, a hard drink. Seriously.

 

~~~

 

 

 

 

“This is…” Nino’s mouth basically drops open. “This is where they live!?”

 

Masaki nods, slight panic crawling down his spine. The house of Jun’s family is huge, he didn’t expect it to be that huge and that… intimidating.

 

“How many floors are there?” Nino asks helplessly.

 

“Four, I think… plus the huge garden.” Masaki frowns. “This is what we can see from the front. Seems like a larger part is hidden behind the garden.”

 

“Should we better leave?” Nino asks, sounding hopeful.

 

It sounds alluring to leave. Actually Masaki wants to run, but then he shakes his head. No, he came here to surprise-attack Jun and to make him go out with Nino and him. He doesn’t want to chicken out now. Feeling inferior and belittling himself is not going to help him achieve anything in his whatever-it-is relationship with Jun. “We are staying,” he says firmly and rings the bell before they can change their mind.

 

They wait breathlessly, hoping that it will be Jun who opens the door, and not his scary oldest brother or someone they don’t know at all. To their surprise it’s an older woman in an apron opening the door. “May I help you?” she asks politely.

 

“They have maids in their house?” Nino whispers.

 

Masaki ignores him. He bows politely. “Excuse us for our spontaneous visit. We are…” he pauses. “Jun-san’s friends and wanted to visit him.” Please let him be at home.

 

The woman’s face lights up. “Is that so?” she asks with a smile. “Then, come inside please. May I know your names?”

 

Probably for security reasons, Masaki thinks when he introduces himself and Nino. The woman leads them to the living room, asking them to wait a moment. While she is gone a younger maid serves them tea.

 

“This is…” Nino mumbles.

 

“Yes,” Masaki answers, understanding without words what his friend wants to tell him.

 

They both nibble at their tea and take in their surroundings. The interior of the huge villa is a mixture out of traditional fashion but designed in a more modern way. Everything looks so expensive that Masaki decides he will better not touch anything.

 

“Masaki-san? Nino-san?” He hears Jun’s voice from the door.

 

Nino grabs his arm. “Is he wearing a Yukata?” he whispers.

 

Masaki nods nervously. Jun looks like a young lord in this house with his brown-green yukata. He looks good though… okay, he looks so freaking hot… Masaki swallows. “Sorry for the surprise visit,” he stutters.

 

Jun shakes his head. “Thank you for dropping by. You…” he looks at them for a while, before his lips turn into a small smile. “You look like you are freaking out.”

 

Nino chuckles. “I think you are right.”

 

“Maybe we should go to my room?” Jun offers politely.

 

Masaki nods shyly. He is not used to this, not at all. When he met Jun before, they were at his place, and at his territory, it was easier to act normally then, but here it is Jun’s territory and Jun’s rules.

 

He and Nino follow him upstairs, three floors to his room. It’s a huge room with a perfect sound system, a huge flat screen TV, a little library, a huge sofa and an even bigger bed. “You know,” Nino points out randomly. “There are families living only on this space alone.”

 

Masaki throws him a glare, but to his surprise Jun only nods. “Yes, I know. I’m really privileged.”

 

Nino blushes. “That’s not what I meant,” he stutters, obviously taken aback that Jun didn’t understand his teasing at all. “I was trying to make conversation. A joke.”

 

Jun’s lips tug, for a moment it looks like he is smirking. “I know.”

 

Masaki grins. Interesting, so Jun could actually take a joke and even tease back – well, just that it’s not always clear if he is joking or being dead-serious. Probably to his own advantage. “Come to a concert with us tonight,” he hears himself say all of a sudden, much to his own shock. “A friend of us is playing.”

 

Nino rolls his eyes. “Way to make an introduction.”

 

Jun stares at them in surprise. “What?”

 

“One of our friends is playing in a band,” Masaki explains hastily. “They are playing tonight. It’s really casual and a small event. Nothing unusual or too special. But they are good…”

 

“I’m sure they are,” Jun says, sounding nervous all of a sudden. “But really, this is your thing. I don’t want to get on your nerves.”

 

Nino laughs, ignoring the glare Masaki throws him for being insensitive. “Oh, please. You know we wouldn’t be here to drag you to a concert if we wouldn’t want it.”

 

“Yes,” Masaki says, taking a deep breath. He looks directly into Jun’s eyes. They are so intense. “Please come with us. I…” he coughs. “We would be happy if you come with us.”

 

Jun bites down on his lips, looking around like he is searching for an excuse or like he doesn’t want to admit he wants to go. It’s not that easy to tell what he is feeling. A knock against the door makes all of them startle. “Yes?” Jun asks.

 

It’s Sho-san who sticks his head into his room. “Ah, Miyazawa-san told me you have visitors, Jun.” He smiles at them. “And one of you I know. Kazunari-kun, it’s nice to see you again.”

 

Much to Masaki’s surprise Nino blushes and stutters something incoherently. This is so unlikely for Nino that Masaki decides instead of questioning him about it immediately he needs to rather save him and the situation. “We hope we don’t disturb something family related,” he says politely.

 

“Not at all,” Sho answers. “I just came home, but I’m going to leave for work again soon.”

 

“See,” Nino says towards Jun. “You can’t spend a Saturday evening alone at home. Come with us.”

 

“With you?” Sho eyes them curiously. “Where to?”

 

“A concert from a friend.” Masaki explains. “He plays the guitar and sings.”

 

“Oh that’s nice.” Sho smiles slightly. “Jun used to play a few instruments too. His mother was really talented.”

 

“Really?” Masaki asks, looking at Jun in interest, but something in his eyes flickers, so he decides to drop the topic immediately. God, the tension. Seems like Jun is actually more relaxed when he is alone with him. “Well, we just wanted to drop by and ask if Jun-kun wants to join.”

 

“Oh, yes,” Sho looks at Jun expectantly. “Go out with them and have fun! It sounds great.”

 

Jun looks a bit cornered, and Masaki starts feeling sorry for basically forcing him to come with them. Nino rolls his eyes too, he looks at Sho for a while. When Sho pulls his eyebrows up expectantly, Nino just shakes his head, looking at Sho in annoyance and pity. “You really need all the help you can get…”

 

“True,” Masaki agrees with a firm nod.

 

Sho looks at them in surprise, blushing slightly. Jun’s lips tug into a smile though, much to Masaki’s surprise. He nods. “Fine,” he gives in. “I’m coming with you.”

 

 

 

  
Nino lies on Jun’s bed, laughing while Masaki and Jun roam through Jun’s wardrobe. “I have literally nothing to wear,” Jun complains,  making Nino laugh even more.

 

Masaki however can understand Jun’s problem only too well though. “Yeah, I know, I mean, my wardrobe is loaded too, but when I need something specific I am at a loss. I could go shopping every week.”

 

Jun looks at him in surprise. “Me too,” he agrees.

 

“Jeez,” Nino complains from the other side of the room, rolling on his back. “You two sound like girls. At least your bed is comfortable.”

 

“You know what,” Jun says, obviously ignoring Nino’s complaint. “I’m just going with these black trousers, a tank top and a leather jacket.”

 

“Is it PU?” Nino asks lazily.

 

“Yes,” Jun chuckles. “It’s fake.” He grabs his stuff and nods towards them. “I’m going to the bathroom to change. You can stay here if you like.”

 

“Really?” Nino grins. “Can we look through your stuff?”

 

“I have nothing to hide,” Jun comments calmly.

 

“Not even porn magazines?” Masaki joins the teasing.

 

“No.”

 

“Oh come on,” Nino laughs. “An 18-year old guy without a porn magazine?”

 

Jun chuckles slightly. “There are five maids working here during the day, believe me they would find everything.”

 

“I see,” Masaki grins at this casual explanation.

 

“Oh, but we’ll for sure find photos from you and your beautiful girlfriend,” Nino states, and Masaki is eternally thankful for having him here because he is asking all the important questions.

 

“Girlfriend?” Jun asks in surprise.

 

“The pretty model you came to the dinner party with,” Nino continues in a casual tone while Masaki holds his breath.

 

“Kiko?” Jun smiles, for the first time it’s something close to a real smile. “I know her since forever. She is like my little sister.”

 

Masaki feels relieved all of a sudden, almost joyful at that revelation. “Is that so,” he muses.

 

“I see,” Nino continues. “Just like with Masaki and me. We are also like brothers.”

 

Bless him! He really is on a roll right now, Masaki thinks, eternally thankful for Nino’s sharp mind and that he puts all the important facts out into the open.

 

“You know each other since you were kids like Kiko and I?” Jun asks curiously.

 

“Not that long, but from school,” Masaki explains honestly.

 

“Yeah, I was the first stray cat Masaki collected,” Nino jokes. Jun blinks at him in slight surprise, but Nino wisely keeps his mouth shut. Thank God. Because the last time Nino told someone about Masaki’s habit to invite outsiders to their group, he got the nickname Mother Theresa. And that’s not the truth either.

 

Jun nods. “Going to change,” he says, hurrying out of the room. Once he is away, Nino looks at Masaki thoughtfully. Masaki is almost afraid about what he might ask now, but to his surprise Nino just smiles. “He seems to be surprisingly nice.”

 

“Yes,” Masaki smiles softly, his chest feeling warm all of a sudden. It’s a weird feeling, new and unexpected and he isn’t quite sure what to make out of it yet. “He is.”

 

 

 

 

Nino teases them the whole way to the place where the concert takes place – for their wardrobe problems. It’s an old garage – and the really cool indie bands like to give their concerts there, although it’s cold as Nino points out and ugly and uncomfortable. Jun looks completely different in this outfit of his, his tight trousers hugging his slender legs and the tank top underlining his small waist and his broad shoulders. The leather jacket makes him look funky and cool. Masaki has encouraged him to do something crazy with his hair too, hence he has a violet coloured hair strand, braided and pulled back with a hair clip.

 

“Impressive how people change with their clothes,” Nino muses in awe. “You should wear something like that often, and get rid of those normal sweaters.”

 

“Yes,” Masaki agrees immediately, because obviously although Jun is always pretty, he won’t say no to watching an extra-pretty Jun. “Next time you drop by to study why not wearing something from your secret wardrobe.”

 

“But we meet to study,” Jun argues. “I don’t need to look like a gigolo then.”

 

“Hm,” Nino grins. “I’m sure Masaki won’t mind.”

 

Masaki smacks him in a short moment in which Jun is distracted, but Nino just winks. “Loosen up,” he whispers. “Everything is alright.”

 

It probably really is, because Jun listens to the music in interest, even moves his body to the rhythm and jumps when the others do too. Masaki has never seen him that relaxed and open before. He seems to have fun. His whole aura is suddenly so alluring and so charming that Masaki has to laugh too. He doesn’t even realize how Nino retreats at one point and orders a few drinks for them. He doesn’t return.

 

“Thanks for inviting me,” Jun says with an honest smile.

 

Masaki’s heart makes a tentative jump. “Any time. You should hang out with us more often!”

 

“But,” Jun blushes slightly. “I mean… I would, but…”

 

“But?” Masaki urges softly.

 

On stage Ryo rips off his shirt and throws it into the audience before he goes down on his knees and goes for a great finale on his electric guitar. The crowd sways but all Masaki is focused on now is Jun’s beautiful eyes and how intensely they look at him, how the look in them is hopeful, surprised and sad all at once. “But you hate me,” Jun says.

 

Masaki’s stomach clenches painfully. “No,” he says and takes Jun’s hand like it’s the most normal thing on earth. He is glad that they drank a few tequilas already, so he can blame it on the alcohol later on in case Jun is going to be mad at him for being so bold. He rubs his thumb over the back of Jun’s hand. “I don’t hate you.”

 

“You don’t?” Jun asks sceptically but doesn’t pull his hand away.

 

“I don’t.”

 

“So, why did you say you do?” Jun insists on knowing.

 

Masaki shakes his head. “It wasn’t about you,” he admits quietly. “It was about me, and how I felt inferior to you.”

 

Jun cracks a laugh. “To me? Are you nuts?”

 

“You are beautiful, successful, intelligent, you have class and you know how to make an appearance.” He basically blurts these words out before he can overthink it.

 

Jun stares at him in bewilderment. “There is a lot I could say against that now… but most importantly: You think you aren’t? Beautiful and intelligent and successful?”

 

“Yes,” Masaki admits.

 

Ryo lies on his back now, basically molesting his guitar. The song he plays is the typical angry rock song, but it’s Ryo, and he can do things like this and it would sound great. The whole room vibrates by the screeching of his guitar.

 

Masaki reaches out his hand, touching Jun’s cheek. He doesn’t even know what is pushing him into doing it, but all of a sudden, he just has to lean forward and kiss Jun’s beautiful luscious lips.

 

He feels Jun’s arms wrapped around his waist for a moment, and his lips eagerly kissing him back, before he withdraws, pushing Masaki away. He looks upset and confused and angry. And so freaking hot. “This is not a game,” Jun huffs before he turns around on his heels and disappears in the crowd.

 

Masaki can only blink after him in confusion, his heart aching painfully.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Takuya’s eyelids flutter when he opens them. It’s still pitch-black outside. He has forgotten to pull the curtains close and now the lights from the street are bothering him and keeping him from sleeping. Sometimes when he has a lot of work or a late meeting he sleeps in an apartment in town, just like today.

 

When he wants to get up to close the curtains, he can feel a weird weight on his waist. There is a warm arm snuggling around him. He freezes in shock. An arm? When he lets his glance glide over himself and said-arm, it leads to a naked guy, half-covered by the sheets and with silver-dyed hair.

 

Oh my god.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we have quite some love-actiong here. First of all, Masaki makes a spontaneous move, and Takuya makes an even bigger move *lol*  
> We'll soon get a deeper look into Junxbrothers family life, and why they didn't get along with their father. Also, don't forget that Masaki is hiding something traumatic too (we'll need a while to get to this point though)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We hear more about the Jun-family. And how will Jun and Takuya react after their surprise adventures at night?

“Oh my god,” Takuya breaths out, before his mind goes completely blank and he can only stare at the person lying next to him.

 

Shingo blinks slightly. “You are awake,” he mumbles tiredly, and wraps his arm around Takuya tighter.

 

“What… I mean,” Takuya takes a deep breath, forcing his brain into a functioning mode again. “Did we really… We didn’t…” he pauses, glimpses of last night slowly slipping into his mind again. He went out with Higashiyama before Shingo joined them, and Higashiyama bolted, and he and Shingo ended up with lots of food and even more drinks, alone. They changed location at one point, and… then his memory gets clouded. He just remembers how they came to his apartment. Blank. Arms around his body. Blank. Shingo is lying on top of him. Blank. He is lying on top of Shingo. Blank. “We did,” he states, trying to stop his blood from boiling.

 

“Yes,” Shingo says light-heartedly. “And it was awesome.” He blinks. “Well, I can’t really remember, but usually I’m a sex god, so I’m sure it was awesome. Especially with someone as awesome as you.”

 

Takuya tries to regather his senses, but he can’t. Not when Shingo lies next to him and pretends like nothing unusual happened. “You don’t find it weird?”

 

“I have a crush on you since forever,” Shingo yawns and snuggles against his pillow, his arm still around Takuya’s waist.

 

“Are you always that outspoken?” Takuya asks in mere disbelief.

 

“Hm,” Shingo mumbles tiredly. “Let’s do the difficult talk tomorrow. I don’t want you to leave, Takuya-san, so let’s just sleep here next to each other tonight.”

 

Shingo doesn’t define if he doesn’t want Takuya to leave now or not at all, but his words sound so honest that Takuya doesn’t want to break his heart by just throwing him out of his apartment. He doesn’t want to be that cruel.

 

When Shingo’s breath starts to even out, Takuya stares at the ceiling. He feels how his stomach rumbles and clenches, this wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s true that Shingo annoyed him, his outgoing and straight-forward cheerfulness and casualness did, but he is a good guy. A really good guy. And Takuya has sworn to himself to never start something with a good guy. Never. It’s not going to end well.

 

~~~

 

Jun isn’t all that sure why he panicked like that, and why he pushed Masaki away. He knows Masaki isn’t playing any games… though his change of mind about him is confusing. Does he hate him or like him? What is it now? Masaki is nice, he is a good guy, good-looking, sweet and with these soft brown eyes that go right into Jun’s heart. He knows Masaki isn’t playing him. Still, his heart hammers against his chest like madly, and he feels like he runs out of air. He is just not cut out for this.

 

Before he can leave the weird garage behind though by getting into a taxi, he feels a warm hand wrapping around his wrist. When he turns around he sees into well-known brown, soft eyes. “Don’t leave,” Masaki begs softly. “Please don’t leave. I’m not playing. I didn’t want to jump you out of the blue.”

 

“Don’t!” Jun yells in sudden anger. He isn’t even sure where his wrath comes from, but all he can do is push Masaki away. “You don’t know anything about me, why are you even trying so hard? Just leave me alone! Having you around drives me crazy. You are always so friendly and cheerful, it’s not normal. No one can be like that! One day something is going to destroy your smile, and you and everything you are.”

 

To his surprise Masaki doesn’t yell back or reacts to the horrible things he just said to him. He just wraps his arms around Jun’s neck, pulling him into a strong embrace. “You are not going to destroy me or anything I am,” Masaki says softly, to Jun’s surprise twisting the words in exactly the way he originally wanted to say them. “If anything you’ll enrichen my life and make me see and accept things about myself I would have never seen otherwise.”

 

Why isn’t he mad? Why the hell is he still so friendly and warm. “It’s not good, Masaki-san,” Jun stutters much to his own surprise. “I’m not cut out for this.”

 

“For what?” Masaki asks in surprise, not letting go of Jun’s wrist until the taxi finally drove away.

 

Jun shrugs, not sure what to answer. Feelings? Relationships? He doesn’t even know what all this crap means. Masaki lets go of his wrist, just to reach out his hands and take his face between them. Jun takes a step closer, leaning into Masaki’s touch, enjoying how warm his hands feel. “I enjoy getting to know you,” Masaki says all of a sudden. “I know it makes no sense and to you it probably feels like I’m just some completely weird maniac who has a breakdown at the toilet and like two days later makes a move on you. But, I want to get to know you. I would love to be your friend. Is this okay for you?”

 

With the hopeful way Masaki looks at him, there is no way Jun could say no now. Besides, he doesn’t want to turn him down anyways. “It is,” he says. For a moment it seems like Masaki is about to kiss him again, but then he withdraws slightly. Jun isn’t all that sure if he is relieved or sad about it.

 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Masaki asks, entwining his fingers with Jun’s.

 

Jun smiles. “Yes.”

 

“I’m just writing Nino a message so that he won’t wait for us.”

 

“Is it really okay?” Jun asks, suddenly feeling worried. They have completely forgotten about Nino. But to his relief Masaki nods and tells him about their friend from the band and that Nino won’t be alone.

 

For the first time in a long while Jun actually feels relaxed and warm, and expectant of something. He doesn’t even know where this story with Masaki is leading him to, but he wants to find it out, and that’s an entirely new feeling for him.

 

They don’t talk much, and when they do they talk about general stuff. It seems like Masaki slowly tries to find out his interests and his hobbies, and his preferences. Jun is surprised by how sensitive he actually is and how he doesn’t act completely blunt and straight-forward. This knew-found knowledge makes his heart swell.

 

The way to Jun’s home is around three hours, still they walk it. Once they are in front of the entrance door and Jun looks for his keys, Masaki looks at him in worry. “It got really late, and we didn’t tell anyone from our families. They will be worried. Are you going to be alright?”

 

Jun smiles. “Don’t worry.”

 

“But they might yell at you.”

 

“Maybe,” Jun explains. “We all have a short temper. It’s a family issue. But they are nice. They are nice guys, Masaki-kun, I’ll explain it to them. I’m not scared of my brothers.”

 

“Really?” Masaki seems surprised. “But you said you hardly talk and, well…”

 

“They work a lot, and we kind of…” Jun tilts his head. “We lost sight of each other over the last two years, but believe me when I say that they are trying hard. I love them. Don’t worry about them.”

 

“Is there something else I need to worry about?” Masaki asks surprising Jun by how sharp his mind works.

 

“Nothing that still exists,” Jun says with a wary smile.

 

Masaki seems to be a bit surprised, but doesn’t ask anything more. “Maybe I should rather worry about my own brothers,” he suddenly jokes.

 

“Really?” Jun chuckles. “But Shingo-san and Satoshi-san seem so laidback.”

 

“They are, but they are also always worried about me and busybodies.” Masaki grins. “I’ll think of an excuse why I’m so late, so that they won’t bother me with too many questions.” He pauses. “Say, Jun-kun?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Do you want to meet? I mean.” Masaki blushes. “I mean, just the two of us. And not for studying. We could go for lunch or dinner. Or watch a movie. Or I don’t know, meet for a video’s night.”

 

Jun’s heart jumps yet again. Masaki doesn’t call it a date, but it has to be something close to it, right? To be honest, a few hours ago he was still wondering about Masaki’s sudden change of mood, but his own is similar weird. Befriending Masaki sounded so scary, and now he suddenly wants to have him close? “I’m all alone at home on Tuesday,” Jun offers, again much to his own surprise. “My brothers both work long and asked me to watch the house, so maybe you want to drop by and watch some movies?”

 

Masaki’s eyes light up, and he grins brightly. “Yes, I want to!”

 

Jun smiles, his heart skipping slightly when he realizes that Masaki waits until he closes the door behind him. Inwardly he prepares himself for being yelled at by a short-tempered and distressed Sho or being scolded by a much more composed but equally angry Takuya. To his surprise though, there is nothing.

 

He blinks, taking his phone and noticing a missed message from Takuya there. He isn’t coming home tonight at all. And Sho? Apparently he has left a note on the kitchen counter, telling Jun he would work really long tonight.

 

Well, that was easy. Everything is as usual, it seems.

 

Jun sighs, taking off his clothes and putting them into the washing machine. They smell from the smoke in the garage. He showers properly before retreating to his room and dropping down on his bed.

 

He doesn’t know how long he lies there without moving. Pretty long, it seems, because he only shifts around when he hears the beeping noise of his phone. It’s a message from Masaki. _Woah, Satoshi was so pissed, but I told him I was studying with you and we lost track of the time. So pathetic. I never lie._

 

Jun smiles slightly. _I think it’s okay once in a while?_ He offers.

 

Masaki answers by sending a smiley. _For you I would lie to them every day._

 

Jun blushes slightly when he reads the message, snuggling against his pillow with a chuckle. Cheesy, but cute.

 

Jun sleeps without being haunted by a headache this night, and it’s only the next morning that he realizes he finally slept well, for the first time since probably years.

 

 

~~~

 

 

“Unbelievable, you can cook?” Shingo asks, totally stunned. Takuya gives a lot of images, being someone who cooks is not one of them.

 

Takuya blinks. “Why are you so surprised?”

 

“You look too high-class to cook” Shingo tells him bluntly, and much to his surprise Takuya suddenly chuckles.

 

“I’m not too high-class to look,” Takuya argues, apparently really amused. It’s the first time Shingo actually sees him casual and with a real smile. “I’m not sure what kind of image you have of me. But you should rather push me down of this pedestal you put me on, because I’m only half as great as you think I am.”

 

“Really?” Shingo asks in interest, grinning. “Then what’s not so great about you.”

 

“For one, I have a horrible temper,” Takuya explains randomly. “Worse than Jun and worse than Sho. You should have seen me with twenty.”

 

“Is that all?” Shingo asks, trying to sound as unimpressed as possible.

 

“I’m not telling you all my bad at once,” Takuya says while he cuts vegetables.

 

“ _At once_.” Shingo smiles slightly at the meaning of what Takuya just said, probably without noticing it himself. “So you are planning on telling me more over time?”

 

Takuya puts the vegetables into a pan before putting the knife to the side, leaning against the kitchen counter now. “Shingo-san,” he starts carefully, in a voice Shingo knows well enough to know what it means. This time though he doesn’t understand it. He got dumped a few times, out of reasons he could follow, but this time… They get along, they feel attracted to each other. Why? What’s the problem?

 

“I know, you pretend to find me annoying,” Shingo decides to be straight-forward. “But I thought it’s our thing. You know, you pretending to hate my antics, and I getting on your nerves even more. I thought it’s just our game.”

 

“It is,” Takuya admits. And. “You aren’t annoying.”

 

Shingo sighs inwardly in relief. “But you don’t find me attractive enough?”

 

Takuya chuckles. “Are you kidding? Did you look into the mirror once?”

 

“Then I’m too heavy,” Shingo argues, deciding to lighten up the tension a bit. “You are afraid when I lie on top of you and make love to you that I’ll squash you to death. If that’s a problem, I don’t mind lying beneath you. You are lighter than I am. No problem here.”

 

Takuya bites down on his lip, still a laugh is escaping his mouth, and it sounds so beautiful that it makes Shingo’s body tingle. Shingo gets up, walking closer to the tall beautiful man. It’s the first time he actually met someone who is as tall as himself, and he likes it very much to talk to someone who is not afraid to look him in the eye.

 

“What do you even like about me?” Takuya wants to know. “If it’s just my look, I have to tell you that I’m difficult as hell.”

 

“Your eyes,” Shingo answers, suddenly feeling nervous. “You have the most stunning and intense eyes I have ever seen. Did you know that they change their colour depending on your mood? You have the most expressive eyes, like a door to a different world. I love your seriousness and how you always do things wholeheartedly and with effort. You are graceful in everything you do. And you are surprisingly kind without showing your kindness to others, but it shows in your actions, although you think it doesn’t. You know a lot about all kind of things, and I find that really attractive about a person, and you-“

 

Before he can continue Takuya has covered his mouth with his hand. His cheeks are flushed, much to Shingo’s surprise. He has never seen the other embarrassed. He has known Takuya since a long while, everyone his age and with a similar wealthy background has. When he studied at university, as a poor student back then, he knew Takuya was at the top of his classes all the time, and everyone badmouthed him for having money and for coming from a privileged and very traditional family, with a name that weighed a lot. But Shingo knew that Takuya was deathly serious with his studies and did everything with effort. Also he has heard him talking sometimes to his colleagues and to his professors, and he never lacked respect. Everyone talked about him, not always nice, but most of them had a crush on him. Shingo has never imagined to get to know him for real, but at the dinner party his luck was on his side. And then it leaded him to Takuya’s bedroom – though he can’t remember how – and to this situation here. He didn’t lie when he said he has the biggest crush ever on Takuya. He always had.

 

“Why,” Shingo starts softly. “Why can’t you be with me?”

 

“I’ve promised myself,” Takuya says earnestly, resting his hands on Shingo’s hips. “to never get into a real relationship. And with you I can’t just start a harmless fling. You are honest and good, and you deserve more than just a loose relationship.”

 

Shingo tilts his head. “It’s true that I want more, but to be honest, for the time being even a loose relationship sounds good enough.” He smirks. “I’m positive I’m going to make you like me so much that you won’t be able to live without me.”

 

Takuya sighs. “You deserve better.”

 

“Listen, I know we can’t be a normal couple,” Shingo insists. “But I would love if we could hang out and at least try to be _something_ – whatever it is – because for me you are the one.”

 

“It’s unbelievable how you can say stuff like that without sounding desperate or cheesy,” Takuya states much to Shingo’s amusement.  “And that’s exactly the problem. I… I’m going to destroy you.”

 

“Why? Tell me,” Shingo says softly. “Please.”

 

Takuya sighs and turns away from Shingo and back to his pan. “You know we have different mothers, right? Jun’s mother is not mine and Sho’s.”

 

Shingo nods, he has heard this rumour plenty of times.

 

“My father had two wives,” he finally continues, and Shingo blinks. He hasn’t expected to receive an answer. Takuya talks in a matter-of-fact tone, and something in Shingo’s stomach twists slightly in worry. What he says is going to be difficult enough to recite it like a boring text. “One of them he hated. And one of them he loved too much. He lost the one to an illness he provoked, and the other to suicide.”

 

Shingo blinks in confusion. It feels like Takuya told him nothing and everything at once now. “I…I’m not sure if I understand,” he admits honestly. Takuya doesn’t say more though, and Shingo takes a wild guess that he stepped out of his box already to even tell him what he did. “Can I help you with cooking?” he says after a while.

 

“Hm, you can set the table.” Takuya says like they never had that weird talk.

 

Shingo sniffs curiously. “It really smells nice,” he says with a grin. “As I said, never imagined you would be a good cook.”

 

“My little brother is better,” Takuya says with a smile.

 

“Sho-san?”

 

Takuya laughs, openly, and again it makes Shingo look up from his work in amazement. It makes him realize that he wants to see Takuya like this a lot more, and that he wants to get to know this other sides of him.

 

“I was talking about Jun. Sho can’t cook to save his life,” Takuya states with a soft smile as always when he is talking about his brothers.

 

Shingo nods. He doesn’t tell it Takuya, but he has made up his mind. He is definitely not going to leave. And he knows Takuya is not cruel enough to just throw him out of his life like that. He is Mr. persistent after all. Before Takuya knows it he will have committed to him.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nino puts his controller aside. He has beaten Masaki twice now, and it gets boring to play against him. They have met at Nino’s place this time. He is living with his mother as his parents are divorced, but she is travelling a lot, so, most of the time, he is alone. He doesn’t really mind though, he has a good relationship with both his parents and they earn a decent amount of money, so he has a comfortable life. Not as comfortable as Masaki’s but still, a good life.

 

Masaki is cooking ramen for them now and produces the biggest mess possible in the kitchen. It’s so fascinating to Nino that Masaki doesn’t lose orientation in the mess he always produces. Now he is cutting some meat for them.

 

“I’ve kissed Jun.”

 

This announcement comes so out of a sudden and out of nowhere that Nino needs more than a few seconds to even understand it. Then he freezes in his movement. “WHAT!?” he breaths out. “You kissed? And you are still alive? And you are at my place since three fucking hours and only tell me now!?”

 

“Sorry,” Masaki says in a small voice.

 

“I mean, I realized the mood was kinda good at the concert,” Nino admits. “But that good!? Wow!”

 

“It was just one kiss, and I was the one taking the first step. He kissed me back, then he got mad,” Masaki explains hastily.

 

“And then?” Nino asks breathlessly. It’s like listening to a romance dorama story, really.

 

“I was shocked first and kind of sad that he thought I was playing games, but then I ran after him, and… well… we talked a bit.” Masaki smiles. “And hugged. And we walked to his place.”

 

“So you are a couple now?” Nino asks curiously.

 

“I don’t think so,” Masaki admits. “I would like to be one, but… I’m not sure if he wants to.”

 

“Friends?”

 

“That’s not really the right term either.” Masaki puts the meat into the soup. “I… think I need to be patient. I mean, I shouldn’t push too much. If I push him into being in a relationship with me, he will run. I need to give him some time.”

 

That’s a wise thing, Nino agrees silently. “And you like him?” he asks softly.

 

“It was pretty obvious, huh?” Masaki says with a chuckle.

 

“By the way you exploded in the restroom?” Nino teases. “More than obvious.”

 

They both laugh, and Masaki doesn’t even deny it much to Nino’s relief. He wants Masaki to be happy and if Jun makes him happy, then that’s perfectly alright. He listens a bit to Masaki’s explanations about what he finds so great about Jun, before he pads back to the living room and drops down on his sofa. He eyes his phone, surprised to see a message there.  

 

It’s from a number he hasn’t expected to ever get a call or a message from. Of course when Sho gave him his business card, Nino gave him his contacts too. But… His heart beats faster when he opens it.

 

_Hello Kazunari-kun, I’m sorry for writing you out of the blue. But… What did you mean, when you said “I need all your help”?_

 

Nino’s eyes widen. So Sho indeed heard what he said back then when they picked up Jun, and he took it to heart? He wonders what to answer before he just goes with the flow and decides to be honest. _I just thought, you probably love and understand your brother but can’t get it across._  

 

He closes his eyes, hoping he didn’t go too far, when he receives an answer. _So, can you help?_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Takuya and Jun dropped some family background information. Takuya more than Jun though. And both Shingo and Masaki are very persistent. :D  
> Finally Nino seems to be huge step closer too :D Sho-san asks him for help after all ;-)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Masaki have their first all-alone (we don't want to call it a date!) meeting. Unexpectedly they touch upon some serious topics. A tiny part of their past will be revealed. Meanwhile Sho and Nino settle for a completely new routine. And everyone meets at Masaki's&brothers place for a showdown. For the first time ever Jun tells his brothers that he is upset with them.

When Masaki rings at Jun’s door, he feels unusually nervous. This time though it’s not the maid opening the door but Jun himself, and in an instant Masaki doesn’t feel nervous anymore, instead he feels expectant and fuzzy. Boy, he has it bad, really. They look at each other for a while, before Jun smiles and steps aside. “Come in,” he says, sounding unusually strained too. Good, Masaki isn’t the only one feeling awkward and a bit scared about this here. Masaki squeals inwardly when he realizes that this here really feels like a freaking date!!  
  
They hug awkwardly, and Masaki isn’t sure if he can kiss Jun now, or if he should do something else… or… what the hell is he supposed to do.  
  
“So,” Masaki stutters when he pulls away and slips out of his shoes and takes the slippers Jun offers him.  
  
“So,” Jun answers.  
  
For a moment they look at each other, then they burst into giggles. Jun takes Masaki’s arm and carefully pulls him along. “Let’s not make it more awkward than it’s supposed to be,” he says firmly.  
  
Masaki nods, letting himself be tugged along by Jun. “Did you prepare some movies?” he asks.  
  
“Yes, all the horror movies you told me I just have to watch,” Jun points out. “And something to eat.”  
  
Masaki looks at him reproachfully. “I told you not to do too much,” he scolds.  
  
“It isn’t much,” Jun chuckles. “I just prepared a cake I can eat too. And maki.”  
  
“Really?” Masaki asks happily. “And is there popcorn?”  
  
“Yes, and chocolate.”  
  
“Great,” Masaki teases. “And I brought beer. And pizza.”  
  
“But I told you not to bring anything!” Jun frowns. “I invited you. It’s impolite if I asked you to bring something for us!”  
  
“You didn’t ask me,” Masaki smiles. Jun’s traditional and conservative way to see things is kind of difficult but also cute. He assumes they’ll need a while to work around it. “Besides, I told you not to cook something.”  
  
Jun sighs. “That’s not the same.”  
  
Masaki grabs his arm and brushes his finger down to Jun’s hand, happy that Jun lets him. “Does it matter?”  
  
Jun smiles. “No.”  
  
They make themselves comfortable in the huge living room because Jun is – as always it seems – alone at home. They watch two pointless horror movies, getting jump-scared in between and making fun of the cheap special effects and horrible plot. At one point Sho comes home, smiling at them when he says hello, but much to Masaki’s surprise he doesn’t ask any weird questions towards Jun and also doesn’t enlighten him with his typical old-brother attitude. He just asks if they had a nice day and tells them he is in his study if they need something. Jun seems to be surprised too.  
  
“That’s a new attitude,” Jun muses.  
  
“Really?” Masaki asks in interest.  
  
Jun shrugs. “You know, Sho is… Sho. He is like, I don’t know, very smart. But he is hard to read, and he is bossy and he sometimes has this know-it-all attitude going. So, tonight was different.”  
  
“I see,” Masaki muses.  
  
“Masaki-kun?” Jun looks at him surprisingly earnest. “May I ask something?”  
  
“Sure,” Masaki answers in surprise, kind of worried what Jun wants to tell him. Hopefully he won’t tell him that he just sees him as a friend or doesn’t like him enough or…  
  
“Don’t be mad at me, okay? But I know it’s just a façade,” Jun mumbles. “I just don’t get why you do it.”  
  
“Huh?” Masaki blinks.  
  
“This whole I’m too cool for the world, crazy party-maniac thing. It’s not you at all.” Jun brushes through his black locks thoughtfully, looking at Masaki through these dark eyes of his. “You are kind and supportive, always there for your friend, and you enjoy it to lie on the sofa and watch horror movies. So, why the crazy party thing?”  
  
Masaki blushes, there is something about Jun and the way he looks at him that makes his stomach clench. And before he can stop himself, he hears himself say. “ Because I’m stupid.”  
  
“What?” Jun blinks.  
  
“I’m stupid,” Masaki stutters, wondering once more what kind of buttons Jun pushes in him that he just can’t lie to him. “I mean, as in: I’m not smart enough. Money is all I have. If I don’t throw parties, people will realize that I really… am nothing.”  
  
If he pretends not to even try at university, not to care, he is sure the others will believe he is just that typical careless rich kid. It’s better than everyone realizing he is just too stupid to do anything right.  
  
He wonders if Jun can make anything out of his random explanation, but Jun is smart, and he has a feeling about people, surprisingly insightful actually. He squeezes his eyes, staring at Masaki for a while, and looks like he isn’t sure if he should smack him or hug him, then he goes for something in between and squeezes his arm. “You are NOT stupid. How can you even think that? You are a wonderful person, everyone loves you! Your social intelligence is probably twice as high as everyone else’s. You are airheaded sometimes, but that’s nothing to be ashamed about. Having problems with integrals doesn’t make someone stupid,” he huffs. “I never want to hear something like that from you again!”  
  
He looks hot like that, Masaki thinks, the way he looks mad all of a sudden. “It’s difficult not to think it,” Masaki explains carefully.  
  
“Who told you, you are stupid?” Jun wants to know all of a sudden, surprisingly insistent. “Or does this thought really solely come from yourself?”  
  
All colour gets basically drained from Masaki’s face. How the hell did Jun even guess it? How did he know? Jun seems to be scared too all of a sudden, like he just realized that he hit a sore point. “I’m sorry, Masaki-kun, I didn’t mean to stir in any wounds, I…”  
  
Masaki smiles, wrapping his arms around Jun’s neck and pulling him closer. “Sh,” he says before kissing him softly. When they pull apart and Jun looks at him through questioning eyes, Masaki smiles sadly. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about it yet. But I will, I promise. I will. Are you going to talk to me too once we are both ready? About why you are so serious, and don’t want to have fun.”  
  
Jun eyes widen in horror but Masaki doesn’t move his gaze away, well aware that he needs to hold it if he wants Jun to open up to him at one point. Jun nods carefully after a while, pulling his glance away, and Masaki knows he has won this little important fight. “I can’t promise you that I’ll be ready soon,” he mumbles, and looks sad all of a sudden. “I wonder if I’ll be ever ready to talk about it, but I promise once I am you are the first I’ll talk to.”  
  
Masaki nods. It’s enough reassurance for him. He hugs Jun tighter, his fingers brushing through his thick hair. He smiles a bit when he feels Jun’s hands wandering over his back too. The fact that Jun doesn’t push him away means so much to him, he has no words.  
  
  
~~~  
  
Sho and Nino have decided to meet once a week in a restaurant Sho is going to choose so that they won’t meet any of Nino’s friends. Nino runs late this time because his class takes longer as he wrote Sho. When he finally comes through the door wrapped in his scarf and his jacket, with cheeks painted in a beautiful red from the cold air, Sho can’t help but take his image in for a while. He looks so young and fresh, but Sho has learned to see the difference between Nino and a kid. When he first saw him, he thought he was barely a teen, but now that he knows him better, he realizes more details about him, like the knowing eyes, and the slight tiny dimples around his lips, the bags under his eyes when he studies too much. The way he moves and talks, and smiles, it’s nothing like a kid’s way to do something. By now Sho wonders how he could ever mistake him for a middle schooler. No wonder Nino was mad at him first.  
  
“Are we eating something which name I can’t pronounce?” Nino asks with a chuckle as he sits down on the other side of the table.  
  
Sho chuckles. “They have soba here.”  
  
“Thank god.”  
  
Sho grins. “But you liked the seafood we had last time and the risotto.”  
  
“Yes, I did,” Nino admits. “But I promise I’ll like soba more. So,” he pauses. “Did you try out your new strategy?”  
  
“You mean, not to come over as prying and how did you put it-“ Sho smirks teasingly. “Know it all?” Much to his delight Nino blushes slightly. He tends to slip occasionally and is pretty direct then, but Sho doesn’t mind. At least there is someone who tells him what’s going wrong. “I think it went well. Jun even came to me later on after Masaki-kun left and asked me if I want some of the sushi leftovers. He has never asked by himself before!”  
  
Sho realizes that Nino smiles dreamily, like he is just listening to a wonderful story. Maybe his talk is so boring that Nino is drifting to a daydream? “We can talk about something else,” he offers.  
  
Nino blinks in obvious confusion. “Why?”  
  
“I don’t want you to get bored with our meetings,” Sho points out.  
  
Nino’s eyes widen. “I’m not bored,” he defends himself. “And even if, would it be important?”  
  
Sho chuckles lightly. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to get bored of me. Otherwise I couldn’t look forward to our little meetings!” Much to his surprise Nino blushes slightly at his words. Did he say something funny? To his relief though Nino starts chatting about his day at university all of a sudden. Apparently Sho’s words didn’t unsettle him.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
 “Tell me I’m not the only one who finds this weird,” Satoshi whispers at Nino, Masaki and Shingo, and points at the three brothers in the living room. “What is this? Three stoic brothers are sitting in the living room… I don’t even know who is the scariest.”  
  
“Yeah,” Nino agrees, though he sounds somewhat half-hearted “A joke could start like that.”  
  
“I know who looks the scariest,” Masaki whispers, and points at Takuya.  
  
Shingo just laughs. “Don’t overanalyse it,” he chuckles. “I’m sure they are really cute and nice.”  
  
They have finally managed to meet, all of them together in one place. Masaki has seen Sho a few times already, but he has never really talked to him a lot, and Takuya? He hasn’t seen him at all. He looks kind of intimidation with his tall stature, and his earnest expression, the strong eyes. Shingo however seems to be kind of accustomed to him…?  
  
Jun looks a bit overstrained by the situation too, and Masaki just wished they could go somewhere else and just hang out. The unsettling look on his face makes Masaki’s heart ache slightly.  
  
Jun looks at Sho and nods towards the salt. “Sho-san, could you please give me-“  
  
Jun isn’t able to finish his sentence because Shingo spits out his drink through his nose again. He coughs, nodding thankfully when Takuya frowns but gracefully hands him a handkerchief. “Did you just call your brother, Sho-SAN!?”  
  
Jun blinks. “Yes,” he says.  
  
“Are you always so formal towards your brothers?”  
  
“That’s how my family calls the older siblings,” Jun points out with a frown.  
  
“You don’t?” Sho asks Shingo in return now.  
  
Shingo laughs. When Sho looks at him in bewilderment, he manages to go for a more serious expression. “No, in fact I’m sometimes Shin-chan, and Satoshi is called Sa-chan. This kind of etiquette is not our real forte.” He smiles, and gladly decides to change the subject. “You are really good at your studies, Jun-san, right?” Shingo asks while he takes a spoon full with rice. They have all worked together today and cooked for hours to make something that would be good enough for their guests. Even Nino helped which earned him an invitation to the gathering. Actually Masaki is relieved to have him around. Makes the situation less tensed for him.  
  
“I’m alright.” Jun smiles slightly. “It’s nothing really… In comparison to my brothers I’m just middle-class. Sho-san is very intelligent, he did a lot better than I can ever do. I don’t think I can live up to his expectations.”  
  
“But you are on top of your classes all the time!” Masaki exclaims in shock before Sho can even react. He glares at Sho. “How can that not be enough for you!?”  
  
“I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding,” Nino intervenes, much to Masaki’s surprise. When Masaki throws him a questioning glance, he just blushes slightly. “It’s just my intuition,” he mumbles.  
  
Satoshi throws him a warning glance. “Masaki,” he whispers so that the others can’t hear it. “Shut up.”  
  
Sho however has blushed furiously at Masaki’s remark. “But it is enough,” he defends himself. “It really is!”  
  
“It is not,” Jun argues calmly, and Masaki is stunned that he actually has the guts to speak up against Sho. And to say what he thinks. His heart swells slightly and his stomach feels warm when he realizes that Jun indeed changed since they met for the first time. He is able to speak his mind, at least sometimes. “Really, it doesn’t matter to me anymore, Sho-san, don’t worry. You don’t need to hide your feelings or anything. We both know that it’s impossible for me to come even remotely close to your expectations.”  
  
“Hm,” Shingo tilts his head thoughtfully. As always his calm and casual way of handling things comes in handy this time too. “When Satoshi and I ended up raising Masaki, I bought a book. It’s called-“ he makes a dramatic pause, and Masaki knows whatever he is going to say is either embarrassing or awkward or weird or everything at the same time. “ _Parental advice. Education and expectations towards your kids_. And it says that you shouldn’t pressure your kids with your expectations and dreams. You need to give them room to breathe, and also chances to fail here and there,” he recites like he actually learned it by heart. “Give them confidence to grow and turn into good people, and develop their own talents.”  
  
They bought a freaking book after their parents died in an accident!? In any other situation Masaki might have burst into a giggle fit.  
  
“Did you really pressure Jun that much, Sho?” Takuya asks all of a sudden, a frown gracing his face now and making it look even firmer.  
  
Sho sighs. “Apparently I can’t do anything right at the moment. Last Saturday when the three kids went to the concert, I apparently didn’t react so well either. Although I just wanted them to have fun! And about Jun’s studies… I never said anything! As long as he tries I promised myself not to complain!”  
  
“Concert?” Satoshi blinks and throws Masaki a surprised glance.  
  
Uh, busted. Masaki sighs. Why did Sho have to mention the concert he had been hiding so well from his brothers. However, he has no time to think about that now. “This means you never said anything at all, right? Nothing? Not even some praise or a compliment?” He ignores the way Satoshi tries to kick him under the table to make him shut up. “This is so mean! I mean no one ever considers Jun-kun’s feeling. He is a kind and smart person. What about his feelings?”  
  
Sho stays awkwardly silent after that, a deep frown on his face like he is going through his mind and tries to remember if he ever praised his little brother.  
  
“What?” Takuya wants to know. “Did you? Never praise him?”  
  
Sho frowns in highest concentration. “I’m trying to remember,” he stutters.  
  
Masaki rolls his eyes in annoyance and glares at Sho. When he looks into Jun’s direction, he sees a warm smile gracing his lips. He secretly angles for Masaki’s hand under the table and squeezes it. “It’s okay,” he whispers so low that only Masaki can hear him.  
  
There is not much Masaki can say though because Takuya picked up the cue now. “I can’t believe you,” Takuya grumbles.  
  
“Wait a moment,” Sho suddenly says with a frown on his face. “Did you?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Did you praise Jun for something?” There is something in Sho’s eyes, an angry glance and it reminds Masaki of how Jun told him that they are all graced by short temper. “Because really, you aren’t even home  much to do so!”  
  
“Anyone, a glass of white wine?” Nino intervenes all of a sudden, basically jumping to Sho’s aid again because Masaki is sure one should rather not piss Takuya off. This time however Nino really manages to deescalate the situation, together with Shingo of course, because both of them start providing everyone with drinks, telling weird stories, and soon Masaki can feel the tension subsiding.  
  
Jun is still holding his hand.  
  
In a calmer moment they both manage to meet in the kitchen alone, telling everyone they are catching the dessert.  
  
“Everything alright?” Masaki whispers.  
  
“For now, it seems yes,” Jun answers. “This is not over though. I know them. They are going to pester me the whole way home about what I feel and how I feel, and if I really believe Sho thinks low of me.”  
  
Masaki feels bad all of a sudden. He just wanted to jump in for Jun, not give him a hard time. “I’m sorry,” he says meekly.  
  
Jun shakes his head, smiling at him in the most beautiful way possible. “No, don’t be. Because no one ever defended me in the way you did today. So…” he blushes and steps forward, kissing Masaki softly before pulling away again. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Jun and Masaki had a date, or something like that (they are too shy to give it a name :D) And Sho and Nino are meeting regularly :D  
> And can you believe that Jun spoke up against his brothers and told them what he feels and thinks? All thanks to Masaki and his whole-hearted support. I had kinda fun writing the dinner, because each person defended someone else. Shingo was there to save Takuya, Masaki for Jun, and Nino for Sho.  
> Next chapter will be a little dramatic, and soon we'll be diving into Masaki's and Jun's pasts. And the reasons why the are they way they are.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Takuya clash. Meanwhile Masaki argues with Satoshi... differently. Meanwhile Sho tries to settle his brothers' fight by doing something stupid...

The only reason no one is continuing their talk that started during dinner is probably because their chauffeur drives them, and all of them hate family discussions in front of others. Well, they already had a share of it today, but thanks to Shingo, and particularly Nino, it still turned into a pleasant evening.  
  
Takuya even invited all of them over to their place for the next weekend, which is something that hardly happened before. They never have personal family and friends gatherings at home. Sho sighs slightly, eyeing Jun out of the corner of his eyes, but apparently he decided to go to ignoring him and looking out of the window. To distract himself Sho angles for his phone, almost automatically looking for Nino’s number.  
  
_Thank you._  
  
The answer comes fast. _What are you thanking me for, Sho-san? I wasn’t able to say anything when they pestered you._  
  
Sho shakes his head. _Still, you defended me, and it means a lot to me._  
  
_I wanted to tell them that they misunderstand you. And that you are actually so kind and thoughtful! I’m so sorry._  
  
A blush crawls over Sho’s cheeks. He can’t really remember someone ever saying something so nice about him, directly to him, into his face. _It means a lot to me, Kazunari-kun, it means so much. So please don’t apologize when you helped me so much tonight._  
  
Nino sends him a smiling emoticon. _Just don’t give up, okay?_  
  
_Definitely not. Next week, same day, same time?_  
  
_Yes!! Send me the place?_  
  
Sho smiles happily. _I’ll chose something you like, I promise ;-)_  
  
Sho puts his phone away, staring out at the window too now. He wonders what he should do or say later on. He knows he has problems with conveying his feelings, he just didn’t know how many problems he had. The period of grace is only as long as the ride to their house. Once the door is closed behind them, and they took their shoes off, Jun looks like he knows they will get on his nerves.  
  
It’s Takuya that starts it this time around.  “Why don’t you tell us how you really feel, Jun.”  
  
Good question actually, because it’s very difficult to read through Jun’s controlled emotions.  
  
“Everything is alright,” Jun says calmly, placing his scarf at the wardrobe, and walking into the living room. He is in a bad mood, and Sho wonders if this is actually the right time to talk about anything. Takuya however seems to be determined too to get the issue out of the world. Maybe he is right, maybe it’s better that way.  
  
“Nothing is alright,” Takuya argues. “We know that it isn’t!”  
  
Jun frowns. “Listen,” he says, obviously trying to keep his calm exterior. “I don’t want to talk about it now.”  
  
“ _It_?” Takuya asks. “What exactly is it? The fact that Sho has obviously issues in conveying his emotions? Or is it something else one of us said or did? Or something entirely different? What is it you are hiding from us?”  
  
He has caught up fast, too fast it seems, because Jun looks taken aback for a moment. Takuya just has the ability to hit the nail on its head pretty fast. Sho feels the urgent need to intervene. “Jun, no one is actually criticising or reproaching you.”  
  
He gets ignored completely by the other two. “Why do you even want to know?” Jun huffs all of a sudden. “It’s not like anyone of you was interested in things like this up to now.”  
  
“What?” Takuya frowns. “Do you even know what you are saying?”  
  
“I’m doing everything I can for school, I’m not going on parties, I don’t drink and I don’t smoke.” Jun takes a deep breath, eyebrows furrowed dangerously. “What the hell do you guys even want from me!?”  
  
Sho is a little surprised. He wonders what really triggered Jun’s strong reaction over nothing too serious actually. Even if he was annoyed or disappointed, this here sounds like so much more…  
  
“What we want from you?” Takuya asks angrily, eyes narrowed now. Sho lets out an inward sigh, just awesome. Now these two strong headed idiots are seriously taking it up with each other? “It’s-“  
  
“It’s not that important for now, is it?” Sho tries to intervene, going for a soft voice and a smile. “Let’s have some cake instead!”  
  
“What?” Jun glares at him. “It isn’t important? Well, of course it isn’t for you!”  
  
“Hey!” Takuya interrupts him, his voice vibrating in anger. “Don’t use that tone when you talk to him.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Sho tries to intervene weakly.  
  
“Well, I’m very sorry,” Jun bites out sarcastically.  
  
“I don’t understand where this is even coming from!” Takuya’s voice sounds strained, like he is holding back not to downright yell at Jun. “Sho didn’t do anything to you!”  
  
Jun suddenly snaps. “Fine, he didn’t. But what do you know!?” he yells at Takuya. “You are never around anyway. Who are you to lecture me!?”  
  
Just… awesome… Sho whines inwardly.  
  
“YOU!” Takuya points with his finger at Jun, his eyes taking a dangerous colour. His normally rather composed attitude is completely gone. He looks so pissed that Sho is actually a bit scared. “Watch what you are saying! I’m going to work for us. And I have every right in the world to lecture you!”  
  
It’s exactly like Sho feared it would be. They start fighting about _something_ , it’s not even clear what it’s about and how it started. And it probably should be between him and Jun and  not Takuya and Jun. He just wonders where Jun’s sudden anger comes from. He has probably bottled up too many feelings for a too long while.  
  
“Does anyone want tea?” he offers weakly.  
  
He gets basically shoved aside by his two brothers FREAKING AGAIN! He needs to talk with Nino-kun about this. Typical middle brother syndrome.  
  
“You know what?” Jun yells in sudden fury. “You guys think you can yell at me and I will just shut up! You treat me like I’m a puppet. But surprise! I’m not. None of you can deal with conflicts at all. Just like dad.”  
  
Sho knows Jun doesn’t mean it. He knows he doesn’t see their father in them. Still it hurts a bit to hear him say that. “Jun,” he tries to reason. “No one wants to treat you like a puppet.”  
  
“You don’t know anything at all,” Takuya argues back. “You just had an easy life up to now.”  
  
“Takuya-san,” Sho tries to argue, because that’s not true either. “It’s not that simple.”  
  
“How long do you think you’ll be able to do that?” Jun wants to know, anger flashing in his eyes. “Try to give me a bad conscious, because unfortunately I was too young to carry responsibility when my mother died, and then later when dad died! If it’s such a problem, then, damn it, I could just leave!”  
  
“That’s not what we want!” Sho intervenes immediately, unfortunately getting ignored by his two strong-headed brothers again. He should get used to it for now.  
  
“Just go to your room,” Takuya huffs. “And come out again when I tell you”  
  
“You think it’s going to be that easy all the time!?” Jun yells in wrath. “That you can send me to my room just because we live together!?”  
  
“I don’t want to hear any of that. As long as you live here and I pay, you follow my rules.”  
  
“Maybe I should have died together with them, then you wouldn’t face this problem!” Jun huffs.  
  
“Don’t ever say that again,” Takuya hisses, sudden anger flashing in his eyes and slaps him hard enough that he loses balance by the sudden impact. In another moment it might have been comical because Jun stumbles, accidentally dropping against Sho, who falls against the glass cabinet with the old ugly porcelain with the blue onion-pattern which they all hate. It shatters in thousands pieces, and Sho clutches his shoulder in pain (though he secretly stomps on the porcelain once more to make sure it’s forever gone).  
  
“Jun,” Sho starts, trying to keep focused throughout the pain in his shoulder. But apparently Jun ran out of stamina too because he just throws them a deathly glare and retreats.  
  
Takuya doesn’t say anything, just grabs Sho’s arm and forces him to sit down while he starts to clean up the shattered porcelain. For a while Sho watches him nervously. It’s difficult to talk to him when he is like that. Like completely closed up and stoic. Sho swallows down his own doubts and fears and coughs slightly. “Takuya-san…”  
  
Takuya halts for a moment, and Sho is worried he might be angry again. But to his surprised he just looks tired. Takuya looks to the side. “Yes,” he says quietly. “I know.” He sighs. “It’s not been a good performance.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
A pillow comes flying and hits Satoshi right into his face. “You are being childish, Masaki,” he huffs angrily.  
  
“I!?” Masaki yells. “I tried to apologize and explain things to you! I told you it was stupid not to tell you that I went out together with Jun on that evening, and instead make up a weak excuse! I’m sorry I lied to you, but I panicked. You however didn’t even listen.”  
  
“It’s been a weak excuse anyway,” Satoshi replies angrily, his voice vibrating slightly in anger. “What is wrong with you recently!? It’s not like you to actually lie.”  
  
“I told you,” Masaki takes a deep breath and throws a stuffed bear at Satoshi’s head. The latter tries to dodge it. “I panicked. I only realized when it was too late.”  
  
“Like, why did you even feel the need to make up a lie!?”  
  
Masaki frowns, slowly having enough of how their talk is going in circles. He grabs a bunch of little stuffed animals from the sofa, and starts throwing one after another at Satoshi. “Why. aren’t. you. listening. to. me?” Masaki yells while he throws a Totori at Satoshi’s head, punctuating each word with a stuffed animal which he throws at Satoshi. “You never listen!”  
  
Satoshi tries to shield himself from the attacks, yelling something incomprehensible. None of them realizes that the door to the living room opens and Shingo peeks into the room, his eyes widening. One of the plush dolphins Satoshi somewhat managed to doge, hits Shingo right against his forehead.  
  
“I am listening!” Satoshi yells. “It’s you who does what he wants! I’m going to work every day, working my butt off, how about you try being more responsible and improving your grades!”  
  
“You-“ Masaki’s eyes widen. “I can’t believe you would hold my grades against me! You-“  
  
“Hey,” Shingo blurts out all of a sudden. “Stop arguing. What are you? Little kids!?” He kicks the table, probably to underline his words, and gasps in pain. He hops around until he drops to the floor. Masaki and Satoshi are at his side immediately  
  
“Are you hurt, Shingo?” Masaki asks in worry, while Satoshi hurries to the bathroom. He comes back with a wet towel and wraps it around Shingo’s ankle.  
  
“I’m fine,” Shingo chuckles. “So, how about you? Are you finished with senselessly yelling at each other and throwing insults at each other’s heads?”  
  
Masaki blushes and throws a careful glance at Satoshi, to his relief the latter sighs slightly. “I’m just really worried, you know?” he admits. “I want you to be well and to have a bright future.”  
  
“With Jun’s help I’m hopefully going to pass my exams,” Masaki admits. “But you need to give me the chance to prove you that I’m actually trying.”  
  
“So…” Shingo eyes him curiously. “Why didn’t you tell us you went out with Jun and Nino? It’s nothing unusual that you are going out on a Saturday. What happened?”  
  
Masaki tries hard not to blush. What happened? He kissed Jun, and they walked home together, and since then they are _something_. Apparently he is sporting a dreamy look at the moment, because Shingo and Satoshi share one of their infamous (and very annoying) glances, before nodding. “It’s not important, I don’t want to be curious,” Shingo says. He has probably already guessed what happened anyway.  
  
Masaki sits down on the floor and leans against the sofa. “I wonder if I’m good enough for him,” he says quietly.  
  
“You are!” Satoshi says with emphasis. “Don’t even think into that direction! You are wonderful, and you are wonderful for Jun. When I saw him together he looked a lot more relaxed, and the fact that he was actually able to criticise Sho-san directly was pretty impressive. You gave him confidence. A few months ago it would have been impossible for him to do that and stand up against his brothers.”  
  
“Yes, that kid looks confident, but in fundamental matters he lacks it. He has probably gained a lot through your… eh… friendship or whatever you two have with each other,” Shingo agrees.  
  
“He is cute,” Masaki says with a smile. “He is so caring. And so sweet.”  
  
“Okay, let’s make a deal.” Satoshi grins. “We are always going to be honest to each other from now on.”  
  
Masaki nods in agreement. Both of them look expectantly at Shingo. Much to Masaki’s surprise he blushes. “Shin-chan?”  
  
“Okay! You got me!” Shingo blurts out, making Satoshi and Masaki look at each other in surprise. Got what? “I’m sleeping with Takuya-kun!”  
  
Masaki almost expects him to burst into laughter afterwards, but he doesn’t. Oh my god… he… what. “With… but… he… I mean how?”  
  
“With Takuya-san!?” Satoshi asks, completely dumbfounded as well. “With… how… I mean, how could that happen? He…”  
  
“He is kind of scary,” Masaki agrees. “How did you even manage to get into his pants? How…”  
  
“On a regular basis, or just once?” Satoshi interrupts him in disbelief.  
  
Shingo chuckles. “Of course frequently. I’ve been barking at this tree for years already, I’m not going to let go so easily.”  
  
“But Takuya-san out of all?” Satoshi is still surprised. “I mean, I see how he is good-looking and intelligent and all. But so stoic.”  
  
“He is half as scary as he actually looks like,” Shingo says with a grin. “He is always really worried about his family. Everything he does, he does for them. I find that really admirable. He is so proud of his brothers, he has just difficulties with portraying his emotions. Oh, and did you know he can cook?”  
  
They are all quiet after Shingo’s heartfelt explanation of Takuya’s qualities. Then Satoshi lets out a sigh all of a sudden. “I need a drink,” he mumbles while he gets up.  
  
“Make it two,” Masaki agrees.  
  
Shingo grins. “Three.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Sho climbs up to the attic over that weird, shaky ladder. He used to hide there when he was a little child, but now that he is older he finds this way up the ladder rather scary to be honest. His first intuitive reaction after this eventful night with all the arguing was to hide somewhere and wait for a few days, so that everything calmed down.  
  
He figures though that this is probably the problem they always have. He doesn’t want Jun to hate him, he wants Jun to love him. He wants Takuya to love him. It’s simple like that, hence the way to the attic. Once he is there he roams through the old items, he is looking for something very specific. As he can’t just knock at Jun’s door and ask for entrance, he has to go for more drastic methods. He is sure Jun won’t just open his door for him, and Takuya is in his thinking mode right now, which is equally annoying, because he won’t be a good help.  
  
Sho grins proudly once he found the rope ladder. He used to play with this one when he was a kid. Well, of course he didn’t really use it for huge heights, but he hopes it’s going to work.  
  
The next way leads him to the hidden rooftop. Although their house has a classic roof, there is a small part, hidden from the street that’s build like a terrace, with a huge table, seats and a beautiful balustrade. It’s also at the same side of the house as Jun’s room. Sho ties the ladder to the balustrade, hoping that he did it tightly enough (he is not a pro in making knots), before he throws the rest of the ladder down so that it dangles against the wall of their house. With shaky legs he climbs over the balustrade, avoiding to look down. It’s pretty high. He is in the fourth floor. Which means… how many meters?  
  
Oh my god.  
  
Better not to think. He carefully takes a few steps downwards, sighing in relief when he realizes that the ladder seems to be stable… although he is not really trained anymore and it is a lot of effort to climb down there, but it’s worth a try.  
  
He is getting bolder with every step he takes. It’s not that difficult it seems. Awesome! He tries to pick up his speed, not noticing the loose step below him. It’s only when he steps on it, and suddenly loses ground that he realizes something beneath his feet is breaking. He tries to cling against the ladder, trying to regather his balance, but it shakes vigorously. To his horror the whole ladder slips downwards a bit, the fucking knot he tied doesn’t seem to hold.  
  
He tries to climb upwards again, yelping in surprise when one end of the ladder suddenly rips down, and he is only clinging to one. The rope is swinging around like madly now, and Sho closes his eyes, trying not to think of what would happen when he lands on the ground.  
  
His body gets smashed against the wall of their house several times, until he his shoulder hits against glass. There is the breaking of glass to be heard, and a sudden pain crosses his body as he drops down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that escalated quickly, didn't it?  
> I couldn't help but use Sho as comedic relief though. He seemed the most fitting :D (sorry, Sho) But he was trying to make his stubborn brothers listen, right?  
> As for the Masakixbrothers fight. From the first chapter on I had this scene in my mind, and I wanted to write a chapter with both familes arguing, because they are soooo different :D  
> Now Sho however seems to be doing something stupid... >>


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Sho? The brothers finally talk to each other. And a new revelation about their family past. And there is new progress between Kazu and Sho!

Sho hears screams and the sound of something breaking. Then there are more screams, and when he opens his eyes, he is lying on his back on the floor of a room, looking up to Takuya and Jun, looking at him in worry and anger.  
  
“Where am I?” he coughs. “It’s you two so I’m for sure not in heaven.”  
  
Jun’s lips tug slightly, and Sho isn’t sure if he is amused or annoyed or sad now. “You are in my room now,” Jun complains. “You broke through my window!”  
  
“What?” Sho chuckles “Don’t be ridiculous.”  
  
“He is not being ridiculous!” Takuya huffs, and grabs his arm to help him in an upright position. His shoulder aches and his knee hurts a bit, but other than that he seems to be fine. A few scratches and bruises probably. Takuya points into the direction of Jun’s window. Well… into the direction where Jun’s window _was_.  
  
“Oh.” Sho blushes. Indeed. Apparently when the ladder ripped he kind of made a Tarzan-like entrance into his little brother’s room. Just that he wasn’t as cool as Tarzan. “Well, good that no one got hurt.”  
  
“Are you stupid,” Takuya scolds.  
  
“Yes,” Jun huffs. “That was freaking dangerous!”  
  
“How could you be so reckless!?” Takuya continues his scolding.  
  
Jun seems to agree. “You could have seriously gotten hurt!! Did you even think properly before?”  
  
“Obviously not,” Takuya joins his scolding. “How could you even do something so reckless! And why? Why did you have to swing yourself from the roof!?”  
  
Sho is inclined to explain to them that it was a ladder and not a rope, and that it unfortunately broke midway. And that it wasn’t his intention to swing into Jun’s room, but to knock at his window.  
  
“Did you want to commit suicide?”  Jun huffs. “If yes, then it’s the way to go, you idiot!”  
  
“I just wanted to talk to you!” Sho finally dares to stop their scolding.  
  
“We don’t have locks in this house,” Jun argues. “You could have just come through the door.”  
  
He couldn’t. They both know he couldn’t invade Jun’s privacy without him allowing it.  
  
“He is right,” Takuya agrees with a frown. “Jun’s room is in the third floor, do you even know how high that is? Never do something so dangerous again!”  
  
“It’s really the worst,” Jun agrees.  
  
“Hey, why are you ganging up on me now!” Sho asks, pointing both his index fingers at his two brothers. “How is what I did worse than snapping at my younger brother or saying that I want to die?” Sho dares.  
  
“I didn’t say I want to die,” Jun argues. “I said it would be simpler for you if I did! That’s something entirely different.”  
  
“It’s-“  
  
“It’s even more stupid,” Takuya puts a stop to their discussion. “Which doesn’t mean throwing yourself through a window is a good idea.”  
  
“Hey,” Sho intervenes. “I think within us three I just treated this situation the most mature!”  
  
Takuya swallows visibly, while Jun blinks. Unbelievable, finally it seems to sink into their minds. Sho lets out a little sigh.  
  
It takes a while for them to recover from the whole drama, then Takuya is the one going to action, as always. He has always been the one who could react the fastest and just do something.  “Just sit down here,” Takuya says, and grabs both his and Jun’s arm, pulling them away from the sharp glass and making them sit down at the other end of the room. “And don’t move.” He frowns, pointing an accusing finger at Sho. “Especially not you! You are like the tornado of destruction!”  
  
“I am not the tornado of destruction!” Sho blushes in embarrassment. “I am not always that clumsy!”  
  
“First you broke the porcelain and then the window of Jun’s room,” Takuya argues.  
  
“Don’t blame all of that on me,” Sho retorts. “I broke the porcelain because Jun fell against me. And Jun fell against me because you slapped him, if I may remind you!”  
  
Now it’s Takuya’s turn to blush slightly, much to Sho’s delight. It rarely happens after all. But it wouldn’t be Takuya if he didn’t regain his composure immediately again. “So I assume someone also pushed you from the roof or dropped against you there to make you use an unstable children’s ladder and break through Jun’s window?”  
  
Sho blushes deeply at that, and Jun’s lips tug into a smile.  
  
Takuya cleans up the mess quietly, just like he did it before with the porcelain while he makes Jun and Sho wait in a safe distance. To Sho’s embarrassment he has to admit that Takuya is indeed graceful and skilled in his movements, unlike himself. In comparison to him he always sees his shortcomings. He is less charming than Takuya, less intelligent, less pretty, with less charisma. He isn’t even as tall as he is. He sighs slightly, earning him a worried gaze from Jun. They both sit on the floor in silence. Jun has stretched out his legs, a thoughtful expression on his face, and Sho wants to rob closer to him and talk, but doesn’t know how.  
  
Then Takuya puts the garbage bag aside and sits down between them. To Sho’s surprise he puts an arm around his and Jun’s shoulders and pulls them against his body. “I love you guys,” he says in a surprisingly hoarse voice. And. “I am sorry. I really don’t know how to deal with conflicts. I’m so sorry for snapping at you, Jun. It was not right.”  
  
Sho assumes that Jun is probably equally surprised as he is. He has never expected Takuya to actually apologizing directly.  
  
“It’s okay,” Jun says all of a sudden, and chuckles. “It wasn’t a glorious moment from me either.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Sho agrees into Takuya’s shoulder. But he can hardly speak as Takuya’s grip is almost too tight. On the other side he can hear Jun gurgling something incomprehensible, apparently also caught in Takuya’s gorilla grip.  
  
“You are not fair,” Sho manages to breath out a complaint. “Just because you are tall and strong.”  
  
Takuya laughs.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
“We have nothing to eat,” Sho complains. “And I don’t want to eat the weird leftovers from two days ago. To be honest, and I know this comes as a shock to you now, I hate Brussel sprouts!”  
  
“You do?” Takuya asks in disbelief. “I hate them too. I just ate them because I thought you love it. Hence I made our cook prepare it once a month.”  
  
“Does that mean we both ate it for the sake of each other?”  
  
Jun grins while he listens to their conversation. It seems that when it’s about food Sho turns into a 5-year old.  
  
“What do you think?” Takuya suddenly wants to know from him.  
  
Jun blinks. “Brussel sprouts? They look cute.”  
  
“Cute?” Sho says in disbelief. “They are green! Nothing that’s green is cute!”  
  
“Clover?” Takuya argues.  
  
“Beautiful. Not cute.”  
  
“That dude from the DC movie, he was wearing a green costume,” Takuya continues, much to Jun’s surprise making a modern-pop-culture reference. When did he watch Green Lantern? Or rather: Who made him watch it?  
  
“Green Lantern?” Jun asks to make sure. “Not sure if he is cute…”  
  
“He isn’t even hot!” Sho complains.  
  
“But Brussel sprouts have cute little leaves,” Jun argues. “It’s like a whole salad, just in a tiny version with leaves and a core.”  
  
“But it tastes horrible!”  
  
“Oh.” Jun’s head perks up. “Masaki-kun’s favourite colour is green. And… he is cute… right?”  
  
Sho and Takuya exchange a glance he can’t quite understand, looking weirdly amused, before Sho chuckles. “Yes, maybe, but Brussel sprouts are still horrible.”  
  
“Okay,” Takuya interrupts the discussion. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. What are we going to eat?”  
  
Sho as the self-proclaimed hero of the night is lying on the sofa, propped up on a bunch of pillows and being attended to by his brothers. “I’m happy with anything, just spare me-“  
  
“The Brussel sprouts,” Jun interrupts him with a grin. “We know. I could cook something,” he offers.  
  
“Most certainly not,” Takuya intervenes. “You are not going to work for us. I’ve just realized that we really left you alone too much.”  
  
“So what are we going to do,” Sho asks carefully.  
  
Takuya takes a deep breath like he is about to announce the impossible. “Order something in.”  
  
Sho’s mouth drops open. “No!” he breaths out. “We… take-away food? Pizza… or something alike?”  
  
“Have you never ordered something in?” Jun asks in disbelief. When his brothers shake their heads, he asks further. “Ever?”  
  
They both shrug.  
  
“Then it’s about time you give it a try.”  
  
“And how does it work?” Sho wants to know.  
  
“Where do we call?”  
  
“You can also order via App,” Jun starts to explain. When they both stare at him, he grins. “You know what, I’ll order a vast variety of food, you just prepare your credit card.”  
  
Takuya grins. “That much I can help.”  
  
An hour later they are surrounded by all kinds of food, pizza, Chinese, sushi, Jun even added something from a gourmet restaurant that also provides home delivery service. Takuya shows him a thankful smile for that.  
  
“Listen, Jun,” Sho says when he bits into a piece of pizza, sighing happily. “This is so much better than Brussel sprouts,” he grins before getting earnest again. “We can’t imagine a life without you,” he says, obviously wary about how to continue.  
  
“Exactly,” Takuya agrees, while he starts eating his pizza with a fork and knife. Jun decides to generously ignore it. Takuya and Sho already stepped way out of their box anyway. “We didn’t have any freedom when we grew up, so we wanted you to have as much freedom as you want.”  
  
“We didn’t know you would take it for a lack of interest,” Sho explains. “You know, when I didn’t have the best grades possible, the man that… let’s say produced me would always hit me. I never wanted to put pressure on you because of your grades, that’s why I never said anything at all.”  
  
“God, that jerk,” Takuya says brutally honest, much to Jun’s surprise.  
  
“Yeah, you know what he did once when I was in my rebellious phase? He let me kneel on the ground for hours. I collapsed at one point,” Sho says dryly.  
  
Jun’s eyes widen in horror. He didn’t even know these stories, none of them actually talked about their father.  
  
Takuya looks pissed. “That’s why I hated him so much,” he admits. “I never liked him. He was a bad husband to our mother, and an even worse father. Some people shouldn’t become parents.”  
  
“He wasn’t as horrible to you and your mother though, right?” Sho asks so hopefully that Jun could only nod half-heartedly.  
  
Sho seems to be relieved. “That’s also the reason I never praised you for anything, Jun, because I was concentrating so much on not saying anything negative.”  
  
They are silent for a while, then Takuya looks at them thoughtfully. “I want us to drop the honorifics,” he says, much to Jun’s surprise. “I never liked it, but kind of stuck with it… because I was used to it. But I really don’t want my brothers to call me -san. It’s weird, and it puts a distance between us that isn’t necessary.”  
  
“Is it really okay?” Jun asks in surprise.  
  
“We are who we are,” Takuya chuckles. “And we’ll always be this serious family, we can’t change everything. But we can open up towards each other.”  
  
“Fine with me,” Sho agrees immediately. “I hated it anyways.”  
  
When they both look at Jun expectantly, he can only nod. It’s weird for him to change patterns now after he grew up with it, but he can’t disappoint them and crush their motivation by telling them that. If he thinks about it, he actually has to agree with them. After seeing Masaki and his brothers, he doesn’t want to have that much distance to his own.  
  
  
~~~  
  
“Where are we going to?” Nino asks, giggling slightly when Sho pulls him along. “It’s rare that we don’t meet directly at the restaurant.”  
  
“It just so happens that I’m in an incredible good mood,” Sho points out. “And I still want to show you my gratitude for your help back then at the dinner. That’s why we are going somewhere special.”  
  
“Really?” Nino’s heart skips a beat when Sho wraps his hand around his wrist and pulls him along, all the time grinning like an idiot. A cute idiot though. Nino likes this side of him. Sho is someone who comes off as so serious and so smart all the time, that seeing him silly is a nice change. Especially since no one ever sees him like that, except for his family, and Nino.  
  
“You will like it,” Sho promises and winks at him.  
  
Nino blushes slightly. “So I assume everything turned out well?” he asks mainly to distract from his own embarrassment.  
  
Sho nods and picks up his pace, grinning. “Everything’s good between us. We talked a lot.”  
  
Nino nods contently. “Say, Sho-san…” he eyes Sho’s hand carefully. “What happened to your arm? There is a huge bruise.”  
  
“Oh that,” Sho chuckles. “I had an accident, my shoulder looked even worse, and I had to make a brief visit to the hospital-“  
  
Nino halts immediately, forcing Sho to stop too. “You were hurt so badly!?” he blurts out  
  
“Just a little. An accident. But Takuya wanted me to check on it properly, so…” he blinks at Nino. “Are you alright?”  
  
Nino figures he must look really dumb with his eyes widened in horror and his lips quivering. “I… why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
“Why?” Sho blinks. “I’m alright.”  
  
“But you forced yourself to go out with me tonight, while you are still not feeling well!” Nino argues, feeling guilty immediately.  
  
“Kazu-kun,” Sho smiles. “I’m alright. I just had a brief check-up at hospital, I didn’t have to stay.” He pauses, looking at Nino thoughtfully. “If you want me to, I’ll tell you next time when something happens, so that you don’t need to worry.”  
  
“Yes!” Nino exclaims a little too eagerly.  
  
Sho nods, and when he turns around, his movements seem a bit nervous. There is not much time to linger on this weird development though as they soon approach a building, something Nino has seen a few times already, on TV ad online, he has wanted to go there, but never found someone to go with him, and someone who was willing to pay the money.  
  
“Final Fantasy restaurant!?”  
  
“Yes, I booked us the… eh… Mogry corner, if I remember correctly. We are having a full-course dinner,” Sho adds. “Do you like it?”  
  
Nino’s eyes widen. “Are you kidding?” he whispers in awe. “Oh my god, I’ve always wanted to come here. And a whole dinner on top of that. That’s… that’s too much, Sho-san, I can’t make you spend so much money.”  
  
Sho chuckles. “Yes, you can. This won’t drive me into poverty, especially not with one restaurant visit, believe me. Besides, I’ve the perfect excuse now to visit such a restaurant.” He grins. “So, what do you say? Because with or without you, I’m going in.”  
  
Nino chuckles, and nods. “Let’s go!”  
  
It’s only when he sits in front of his perfect rice and steak, all Final Fantasy themed, and his heart beats uncontrolled whenever Sho asks him something or says something, that Nino knows he can’t quite ignore this feeling anymore. The twitching of his stomach is not because he ate something wrong or because he worries about his exams, but because he simply likes Sho.  
  
Out of all. Finally someone he truly likes and it’s a billionaire, older, settled in life, and the brother of his best friend’s boyfriend (or whatever Masaki defines Jun as). On top of that he is sure that Sho has zero interest in him. He probably only sees a kid in him.  
  
“Do you want dessert?” Sho asks with a smile. “I saw something about a cake. Shaped as a chocobo, whatever that means.”  
  
“I’m not sure,” Nino chuckles. “I have already eaten so much.”  
  
“There is always place for dessert,” Sho says wisely, and Nino just can’t deny his wish. When they sit over their cakes, Sho looks at him thoughtfully.  
  
“I’ve an idea or rather a request…” he starts, almost sounding wary. Nino looks up curiously. “I’ve two tickets for a musical next week. I wanted to go with Jun, but he is busy, I just wondered if you would like to accompany me?”  
  
YES YES YES YES! It’s not like he is that much interested into musicals, but YES! “Well,” Nino pretends to give it a little thinking, his heart jumping like crazy at the prospect of actually going out with Sho. “I think I can squeeze it into my schedule.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
It’s the first time Masaki meets Jun at university. They are both having a class at the same time and decide to go for lunch together.  
  
“This is like a dream come true,” Masaki chirps.  
  
“What?” Jun blinks in surprise. “Eating ramen here?”  
  
Masaki grins. How could anyone be so serious and knowledged, yet so oblivious? “It’s a dream to meet you for my lunch break,” he explains happily. “I don’t care for the restaurant. We could have also gone for fast food or buy a cheap bento box. It’s just great to meet you.”  
  
A beautiful, shy smile curls around Jun’s lips. “Really?” he asks. “I’m happy to meet you too. When I have a bad day, I’m always feeling better when I see you.”  
  
If this wasn’t Jun, it would sound so cheesy. But Jun just sounds honest and sincere, and Masaki’s chest feels all warm suddenly. “You don’t have a bad day today, have you?” he asks to diffuse his own embarrassment.  
  
Jun smiles and shakes his head. “No.”  
  
“What happened after we had the dinner last week?” Masaki asks nervously. “You said you had a fight with your brothers. It’s all my fault, isn’t it? I’m sorry, I pushed Sho-san too much. He for sure got angry.”  
  
Jun grins much to Masaki’s surprise. “Sho wasn’t angry at all. I had a fight with Takuya-sa… I mean with Takuya.” He pauses. “It was pretty bad. I kind of exploded with all kind of emotions. Guess I haven’t talked to them honestly for too long, and then I suddenly was too worked up to talk calmly with them. He got angry too, and it kind of escalated.” He smirks. “Then Sho threw himself from the roof and landed in my room, which is why my window is broken now, and then we made up and talked and decided to drop the honorifics.” He pauses. “And it’s not your fault,” he urges. “In fact I would have never been able to stand up for myself against Sho or Takuya without you. I’m really thankful for the confidence you gave me.”  
  
Masaki stares at Jun, his mouth dropping open. What? Who dropped from the roof? Is that some sort of metaphor he doesn’t get? “So, when you say Sho-san dropped from the roof, you actually mean…”  
  
“He took a ladder and wanted to climb down from the roof to knock against my window and talk to me, because he knew I wouldn’t let him in when he knocked at my door. He is really clumsy, so he didn’t tie the ladder to the balustrade properly, and almost dropped down. He managed to swing himself into my room though. Just that the window was closed.”  
  
“You are serious?” Masaki stutters.  
  
Jun looks at him in surprise. “Do I look like I’m joking?” he asks, sounding uncertain all of a sudden.  
  
“Not at all, which is why I’m confused,” Masaki points out.  
  
“Why?” Jun teases. “Did you think your family is the only crazy one?”  
  
Masaki grins all of a sudden, liking the way Jun could also be silly and teasing. “So, you guys made up?” he asks happily.  
  
“I think we still have quite a way to go,” Jun admits. “But we’ve finally made some progress. All thanks to you.”  
  
“I doubt that’s true,” Masaki points out sadly. “I made things escalate.”  
  
“Masaki-kun,” Jun looks around before he takes Masaki’s hand into his. “Without you I wouldn’t be able to talk to my brothers now. I would have not learned to understand Sho better and speak my mind. We would have never fought and instead carried on like we were before, and we would all be miserable and feel bad about our relationship.”  
  
“Jun…” Masaki blushes, brushing his thumb over Jun’s hand. When no one is looking, he bends forward and plants a swift kiss on Jun’s lips. When he draws back, Jun’s eyes shine, and he looks happier than he ever did before. Masaki decides to take a risk. “May I ask something?” he asks carefully.  
  
Jun nods. “Of course.”  
  
“Let’s say we would be able to date openly, and people approach me and ask: Who is this stunning guy at your side? What should I answer then? This is Jun-kun, my friend? Or my boyfriend?” Much to Masaki’s surprise Jun blushes.  
  
“I don’t mind,” Jun stutters. “How do you want to call me?”  
  
“I would like to date you seriously, like couples would do it,” Masaki admits, wondering where the hell he gets his courage from right now. Maybe it’s because of Jun’s honest and encouraging words from before. “Only if you want to of course,” he adds hastily.  
  
Jun licks over his lips nervously, then he nods. “I would like that too,” he finally admits shyly.  
  
Masaki’s eyes widen. “Really? You are not just saying this to make me happy?”  
  
Jun returns his smile. “Yes, really.”  
  
Masaki’s stomach feels all fuzzy by Jun’s words and his honest smile. It’s really been worth it, he thinks. The rocky start they had, the little dramas surrounding their relationship before getting together and all the misunderstanding, because in the end it led them together. Jun’s reasoning might be different to his own sometimes, and the way he can be serious doesn’t seem to comply with Masaki’s sight of the world, but somehow the way Jun is and how he acts makes Masaki whole again. It’s like he didn’t even realize that something was missing in his life before. Now that he regained this missing piece again, it’s just so obvious to him that he wasn’t really happy before.  
  
Jun has thanked him for helping him stand up against his brothers. When the time comes and Masaki will feel ready to talk about everything, he will thank Jun too for the things he helped him to realize and hopefully overcome.  
  
  
~~~  
  
“You?”  
  
Sho’s eyes are wide opened when Ryo and Nino step through the front door together. Jun invited them with Masaki and his best girlfriend Kiko. Nino has told him beforehand that he would be there tonight to visit Jun – to be honest, any excuse to write Sho a message is a good excuse. He assumes though that Sho is rather surprised to see Ryo.  
  
“Hello, boss,” Ryo chirps happily, and pads into the living room.  
  
“You are wearing a punk jacket and cut jeans,” Sho states in an uncertain tone while he obviously tries to state a fact.  
  
Nino grins while he follows him. “Get over it,” he teases. “I’ve never seen him in a suit. Besides, he is hot.”  
  
“He is?” Sho asks and frowns. Much to Nino’s surprise he looks pissed all of a sudden. He only shoves them to the living room where a girl with endless legs is feeding Jun with fruits and Masaki looks at her kind of annoyed.  
  
“This is going to be an awesome evening,” Ryo states happily, and Nino wonders where the hell he gets his confidence from because all he sees for now is an annoyed Masaki and Sho, who seems to sulk out of no valid reasons. He sighs a bit, before sporting a brave smile and going into the cave of the lion – namely Masaki, as the lion.  
  
Much to Nino’s surprise Kiko isn’t all that annoying though, she is rather fun and laidback, pretty much like a female version of Masaki, which is probably why Masaki seems to panic. Then however Kiko tells them how she is dating a hot professor at college at the moment.  
  
Nino grins. “See,” he whispers towards Masaki. “Jun’s definitely not her type.”  
  
Masaki blushes. “Am I so obvious?”  
  
“Please, Ryo and I almost didn’t dare to go into this room.” Right at this moment Ryo starts playing catch-the-chocolate-raisins-with-your-mouth with Kiko. “Okay, _I_ almost didn’t dare to enter.”  
  
“You think I’m overreacting?” Masaki wants to know.  
  
Nino grins.  “No!” he exclaims dramatically.  
  
They both giggle, earning them a sceptical glance from Jun. Masaki blinks slightly in confusion, while Nino has to hide a grin. Well, at least they are both equally jealous.  
  
Later that evening when Jun and Masaki finally managed to sit next to each other without any distraction, their fingers secretly brushing against each other – secretly to everyone but Nino’s sharp eyes – Nino decides it’s save enough to leave them alone and look after his own problem.  
  
He finds Sho in his study. Unexpectedly – or maybe not so unexpectedly – his heart races the instant he sees him in front of his desk through the half-opened door. God, what is he even doing here? He bites down on his lips nervously. He wanted to look for him and start a casual talk with him, but… now that he is here, it just dawns on him that this is Sho’s home, not just a restaurant or a place each of them can retreat from easily. This is Sho’s territory, and he is right in front of it and has no idea what he actually wants to do. What is he even thinking? That Sho might be interested in a teenage-looking guy who is only a little older than his own brother? He for sure sees just a kid in him.  
  
Nino is about to turn around and head back to the others when Sho suddenly turns to face the door. He blinks in surprise. “Kazu-kun?”  
  
“Ah, yes,” Nino stutters, not able to control his reactions at all. “I… I was looking for the toilette.”  
  
What the hell is wrong with him!? This is the most idiotic thing he could possibly say!  
  
“Oh, this is not it,” Sho smiles. “Just go down the hallway and then turn left.”  
  
Nino sighs inwardly. Yes, he knows that. Sho is about to turn around again, when Nino steps forward. “I’m not dating Ryo-kun or anything like that,” he blurts out, frowning at himself. Now, this was subtle, Ninomiya, like really subtle! Why can he be so sarcastic and cool when it’s about Masaki’s love issues, while he himself is at a complete loss when it’s about himself?  
  
Sho turns around again, his eyes wide for a moment. Then he smiles slightly. “Is that so,” he muses. Okay, this reaction seems not too bad. Apparently he doesn’t believe Nino is a lunatic.  
  
“Are you working?” Nino asks carefully.  
  
“No, just reading my newspapers,” Sho chuckles. “Boring huh?”  
  
Nino shakes his head. “Not at all. But why don’t you join us?”  
  
Sho grins. “And get killed by Jun?”  
  
“I’m sure it won’t be that bad,” Nino answers and carefully takes a step into the room. Sho points at the comfortable armchair next to him, signalling Nino to sit down there. “Although he told me you broke his window, which is why we are in the living room in the first place.”  
  
Sho pouts a bit. “Did he also tell you that it was an accident?”  
  
“Yes, though I can’t quite imagine what kind of an accident led to you breaking the window? Did you play football?”  
  
“Yeah, with my body,” Sho jokes. He must have caught Nino’s confusion because he grins. “It was right after the infamous dinner at Satoshi-san’s place. It’s a long story though,” he teases. “It starts with a family fight, with Takuya snapping at Jun, with me accidentally breaking the ugly family porcelain to me dropping through Jun’s window from outside, and all of us making up and eating great pizza Jun ordered for us.”  
  
Nino’s mouth drops open. “We just met two days ago, and you didn’t tell me this awesome story!? Was this the reason why you got hurt!? So… the accident was actually you almost dropping from the roof?”  
  
“Well, when we meet I want to hear something about you, not tell you something about my boring life.”  
  
Nino isn’t sure if he should blush now or be annoyed that Sho won’t tell him something so important. He goes for mix out of both and grumbles something. “So tell me now?”  
  
“Are you sure you won’t prefer to hang out with the young folks instead?” Sho asks, looking almost doubtful.  
  
“Nah, I enjoy age and wisdom sometimes,” Nino jokes, finally able to let his sarcasm shine through.  
  
Sho chuckles. “Don’t forget, playing the insensitive elephant is my job!”  
  
  
  
It’s an awesome evening they share, and Nino is glad the others are so pre-occupied with flirting that they don’t really miss him. At one point though Takuya comes home too, and Nino is almost a hundred percent convinced that he would indeed realize something, so he re-joins the others. Before he leaves Sho’s study though, Sho smiles at him. “Next week, Thursday?”  
  
“Of course.” Nino can’t hold back the dorky smile appearing on his lips. “Just mail me the details.”  
  
Much later that evening, when they say their goodbyes and Masaki makes up an excuse to stay a bit longer – probably to kiss a certain someone – he and Ryo walk home together. They are living in the same area, or rather the friend Ryo stays with tonight and Nino live close by, and it’s better to go together anyway.  
  
It’s when they pass a small park that a guy in a black jacket and hat approaches them. “Hey,” he says.  
  
Ryo and Nino exchange a glance. Nino wonders if Ryo thinks the same, that they should be careful. He does, it seems, because Ryo only nods politely but resumes walking. The guy follows them. “So which one of you is Sho-san’s lover?”  
  
Nino and Ryo exchange a surprised glance.  
  
“He is been seen with a black-haired slender guy recently. Which one of you is it.” The guy steps closer, he reeks of alcohol and cigarettes, and sweat, and something about him unsettles Nino deeply.  
  
To his surprise it’s Ryo who speaks up. “Who wants to know that?” he asks calmly.  
  
The guy pulls out a cigarette, and Ryo gladly plays along by lightening it. “No one.” The guy says. “Just curious.”  
  
“Well,” Ryo continues. “We are not the only black-haired small guys in this city,” he says, and sounds so convincing that Nino is relieved. The guy halts, not following them anymore and watching them leave.  
  
When they are far enough away, Ryo grabs Nino’s arm. “This is dangerous, Nino-kun. We should tell-“  
  
“No.” Nino shakes his head. “I’m sure it’s a coincidence. Probably someone is prying about Sho-kun or something like that.”  
  
“Sho- _kun_?” Ryo is surprisingly earnest now. For a guy so messy like him it’s a surprising twist. “You should be careful if you date him. A family of their wealth and history, and with his job, he doesn’t only have friends.”  
  
Ryo’s eyes are wide-opened and serious, he doesn’t look like the crazy sexy guitarist from that indie band at all now, but rather like the lawyer attorney he is. “Ryo-kun,” Nino begs. “I’ll be careful. But please let me be the one who tells Sho-kun when the timing is right. I don’t want to unsettle him over nothing.”  
  
Ryo sighs. “Fine,” he gives in. “Maybe you are right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nino finally acknowledged that he might or might not like Sho :D  
> Meanwhile more background information of Junxbrothers (and yes, Sho did indeed want to climb down the wall and knock at Jun's window. He is such a brilliant mind :D )  
> As for Nino... someone is not happy he is meeting Sho?  
> Oh, and I've realized this chapter is not so Junba-centric. But Junba will have a major plot coming up, so I need to lay out the other side-stories further before going that way :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Masaki spend a quiet moment together at a family party. Shingo gathers his courage and asks Takuya something about his past. Masaki meanwhile sees Nino flirt with Sho out of all.

Shingo cooks pasta. He declares it’s the best recipe ever, and Masaki has to fight back the urge to tell him that Jun’s recipe is so much better.  
  
“I know what you are thinking,” Shingo pouts.  
  
Masaki gladly doesn’t need to answer because Satoshi joins them – thank god, they are three brothers. “Sho was on the phone,” Satoshi tells them. “They invite us for the upcoming Saturday. For a barbecue party.”  
  
“Really?” Shingo exclaims. “How nice. I hope you are free, Masaki?”  
  
“Of course.” Masaki stretches and angles for one of the macaroni with his fingers. “I already knew about it anyways.”  
  
“How?” Satoshi asks in surprise.  
  
“I’ve connections,” Masaki chuckles, their surprise is really cute. Did they really think Jun wouldn’t tell him about it. “Nino and the others are invited too.” Jun friends will come too. Well, he already knows Kiko, she is easy to get along with. But he is afraid that Shun will hate him.  
  
“I’ve good connections too,” Shingo grumbles. “But they won’t tell me anything important.”  
  
“Your pasta really tastes delicious,” Satoshi exclaims all of a sudden.  
  
“Yes.” Masaki catches on immediately. Distraction attack. “Almost on par with Jun’s. Which is a huge compliment.”  
  
“The consistence of the noodles is great,” Satoshi continues.  
  
“But the sauce is the best,” Masaki agrees.  
  
“By the way, how did you manage to make your hair look so good today?” Satoshi asks earnestly.  
  
Shingo sighs. “It’s like you two never learned something from me.”  
  
“Not convincing?” Masaki feels almost bad for a moment. They just wanted to lighten up Shingo’s mood a bit.  
  
“Now don’t make me feel bad,” Shingo calls out. “Let’s eat. It’s okay.”  
  
Satoshi sighs slightly. “Would vodka and cake enlighten your mood?”  
  
Shingo smiles slightly. “Now we are talking.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
Masaki grabs Jun’s hand secretly and pulls him along to the backside of the house. He glances around carefully to check if someone is following them. But no one is.  
  
Jun chuckles. “What are you doing?”  
  
Masaki wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him closer. “I passed my exam yesterday. It’s not like I did great, but good enough.”  
  
Jun’s eyes light up. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me!? This is so great. I knew you could do it.”  
  
“Yes, you did,” Masaki smiles, his heart beating faster by the knowledge that Jun believes in him. That he even did so before they got together. He pulls him into a soft kiss.  
  
Jun wraps his arms around his waist. “What if someone sees us?”  
  
“Won’t matter,” Masaki grins. “I know that one of your brothers is having something going with one of mine.”  
  
“You are kidding!?” Jun blurts out.  
  
“Not at all.” Masaki snickers, and if you kiss me properly now, I might even tell you who it is.”  
  
“Takuya,” Jun states in a matter-of-fact tone.  
  
Masaki almost feels disappointed. “How did you know?”  
  
“He stays away overnight sometimes and smells like a different perfume,” Jun grins. “You still get your kiss though.”  
  
For a few minutes none of them is talking. Masaki is simply engulfed in the feeling of Jun’s hands at his back, and his plump lips willingly parted to let his tongue slip in. It’s only when they need to catch for air that they pull apart.  
  
“You won’t need a tutor anymore, right?” Jun asks, sounding almost disappointed.  
  
“What!?” Masaki exclaims. “Of course I do! I want to improve my marks. And I  need someone who makes me stay focused.” He grins. “Of course, seeing you and imagining all kinds of things doesn’t really help. But still…” he smiles. “I need you.”  
  
“Well,” Jun smiles warmly. “We’ll manage to get you through the year end exams too.”  
  
“I knew it would be beneficial to start an affair with my teacher,” Masaki jokes, and to his delight Jun laughs slightly. He has a beautiful laugh. He should show it more often. He takes Jun’s face between his hands. “You are so beautiful,” he states all serious now. “So beautiful.”  
  
Jun’s lips tug, and he looks almost sad for a moment. “I’m not,” he says, sounding tired. “I wish you could realize how ugly I actually am.”  
  
Masaki is more than a little surprised by Jun’s words. It seems like Jun is surprised too, like he didn’t even want to say it. He chuckles all of a sudden. “Just kidding,” he says light-heartedly.  
  
No, Masaki thinks, you are not. He wonders if Jun’s issues are similar to his, but in his caste it’s more about his self-doubts towards his intelligence and his character, with Jun it seems to be something else. He chooses not to say something though, instead he takes Jun’s hand and entangles their fingers. “Let’s check on the progress of the barbecue?” he offers. Right when he says it his stomach grumbles too, making him blush.  
  
Jun smiles. “We definitely need to get you something edible soon,” he says, and he seems to be back to his normal self again.  
  
They drop their hands so that they won’t get any unwanted attention and head to the barbecue. It’s the only thing in the universe that Satoshi can cook, next to fish. But apparently fire and wood and the sea awaken his baser instincts. He is wearing a simple t-shirt now, revealing his brown arms and looks so casual and comfortable like he is actually at home in this huge villa. Somewhere at the other side of the garden Nino chats with Sho.  
  
Masaki blinks for a moment. Nino chats with Sho? Nino is smiling while he talks, gesticulating and obviously making a silly joke because Sho laughs now. Do they know each other?  
  
Masaki isn’t sure if he should feel pissed now, curious or happy. He waits until Nino finally leaves Sho alone and goes inside the house to the restroom. Masaki follows him secretly. Nino squeals in surprise when Masaki grabs his arm and pulls him into the bathroom. This time though he has learned his lesson and checks properly if anyone is around. He doesn’t need anyone listening to them by accident. “Are you nuts!?” Nino huffs.  
  
“Are you? Nuts?” Masaki chuckles. “Flirting with Sho-san?”  
  
“I’m not flirting with anyone,” Nino huffs. “Get your eyes checked.”  
  
“And here I thought we were best friends,” Masaki pretends to be hurt. “Still you keep so many secrets from me.”  
  
Nino grumbles. “You are not fair,” he complains.  
  
“No,” Masaki says earnestly. “You are not fair.”  
  
Nino blushes slightly, before he opens the door to look outside. As clearly no one is around, he turns back to Masaki. “Okay, I might be flirting with him. But I’m not good at it. We’ve been meeting regularly.”  
  
“WHAT!?” Masaki exclaims.  
  
“Shhhhh!” Nino frowns. “Keep your voice down. He wanted help to get along with Jun. And we kind of met each other on the wrong foot a few times… coincidentally first, so he showed me his kind side and invited me to lunch. That’s how it somehow of started. Nothing happened. He still sees a kid in me. First he actually believed I’m a middle schooler.”  
  
Masaki is quiet, trying to process the information he got. “You like him?” he asks. Sho is a difficult guy. He knows that Shingo probably hasn’t an easy job with Takuya, but they are both a lot older, they are on one level, and have a certain view on life. Takuya seems to have issues, but apparently he is only half as stiff and traditional as expected. It seems like he wants to break with the expected traditions – Jun told him he even suggested dropping the formalities between them as brothers. But Sho… he seems to be rather conservative. Also Kazu is a friend of his little brother, Sho would need to wrap his mind around that and accept it. But most importantly… “Do you like him, Kazu?”  
  
Nino sighs. “I’m stupid for liking him, right? Because it’s hopeless.”  
  
“You are not stupid,” Masaki argues “You are in fact thrice as smart as I am. And witty. And intelligent.”  
  
“But?” Nino wants to know.  
  
“He is not going to be easy to get,” Masaki tries to voice it as diplomatically as possible.  
  
Nino looks at him for a while before chuckling. “I told you, I’m hopeless. He’ll be impossible to get.”  
  
“Never say impossible,” Masaki says with sudden resolve. “I’ll help you! You have beauty and charm, we’ll for sure manage to make him look at you in a different way. But-” he raises a warning finger. “Next time I want details about your meetings and all.”  
  
“Fine,” Nino grins, suddenly looking a lot happier. “Now let’s go to back to the others.” He pauses. “Thank you, Masaki, for your help. I didn’t know how to tell you. I felt so stupid for liking him.”  
  
“It’s not stupid,” Masaki says firmly.  
  
Kazu smiles.  
  
When they leave the bathroom, laughing, they meet Jun at the corridor. He looks relieved for a moment, then uncertain again. “I was looking for you,” he says. “I didn’t want to disturb anything though.”  
  
Masaki feels a bit confused. “You didn’t disturb anything.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Jun says. “We are going to eat soon by the way. Maybe you two want to join?”  
  
When they follow Jun outside, Nino elbows Masaki’s side. “He thinks we made out,” he whispers.  
  
“What?” Masaki blinks. “No way!”  
  
“Yes way,” Nino rolls his eyes. “Open your eyes.”  
  
Masaki isn’t sure what to think about it, but throughout the afternoon Jun is rather quiet. He doesn’t pull away from his touches though, but still… Masaki wonders what made him so insecure in the past.  
  
  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
It’s difficult for Shingo to talk about certain things. It’s not like he is shy or introverted, but there are some things he can’t just say out loud. He can’t tell Takuya to be more open with him, because he is sure he would leave if he does so.  
  
Takuya said he doesn’t want to be in a steady relationship, ever. First Shingo thought it’s because he plans on getting married one day, and not date a guy, but he soon realized that Takuya, as conservative as he is, doesn’t mind it at all that he sleeps with a guy.  
  
He simply doesn’t want to be in a real relationship, no matter if it’s with a man or woman. At the same time he doesn’t enjoy it to be single. Shingo knows Takuya likes it to have him around, and he hates it to be alone.  
  
“You are too nice, really,” Takuya says when Shingo hands him the bag full of salads and sauces they brought along. “I told you, we would be the ones cooking. Although of course it means that it’s only Jun and I who are cooking. Sho was banned from the kitchen. He always is.”  
  
“Really?” Shingo asks in interest, happily taking any piece of information Takuya feeds him with.  
  
“Hm, he would even set boiling water on fire.”  
  
“You are kidding?” Against his intention Shingo has to grin. “I mean, Satoshi is horrible too. He is an artist deep inside. So he just does… something in the kitchen. Throwing everything into the pan at once.”  
  
Takuya smiles slightly, this perfect crooked smile of him. He looks around carefully, before grabbing Shingo’s collar and pulling him closer to kiss him. Shingo gasps in surprise by that little attack. It rarely happens in semi-public that Takuya actually initiates a kiss. It’s just for a few seconds though then Takuya remembers to be careful. Shingo chuckles. “We should really deepen this talk later,” he jokes. “You are in a good mood.”  
  
Takuya shrugs. “Not really. I had a fight with Jun.”  
  
“Ah,” Shingo makes, in his mind trying to work with this piece of information so that it would fit Takuya being kind of relaxed at the moment. “Sorry, I don’t get it.”  
  
“It made us talk about important things,” Takuya explains with a careful smile. “And I told them I want to drop the honorific.”  
  
Knowing them by now, Shingo is well aware that this is a huge step forward. “Great!” he exclaims. “You’ll see! It’s just the first step, from now on you’ll be more honest to each other and open up more. And not bottle everything up inside you. The bond is there between you three, because you always loved each other. Now you just need to nourish it!”  
  
Takuya blinks, before he chuckles. “You are always so passionate.”  
  
“But it is something good, right?” Shingo smiles. “From now on you can step forward.”  
  
“I wished we would have reached this point in a different way though, without anyone getting hurt,” Takuya says, all earnest now. His forehead is furrowed, and Shingo wonders what kind of troubling emotions he is facing right now.  
  
“What’s wrong?” he asks carefully.  
  
“I hit Jun,” Takuya admits all of a sudden, looking guilty. “I never did before. I never want to again. He pushed my wrong buttons on that evening, but that’s not an excuse.”  
  
“Okay,” Shingo starts carefully, sensing that he is stepping on thin ice here. On very thin ice. Takuya is rarely sharing such private information with him. The fact that he is now means he is troubled enough that he can’t keep it inside and especially doesn’t have anyone else to talk with about it. “It won’t happen again, you are not going to do it again.” Shingo takes a step forward. “You snapped. That’s bad. But it doesn’t turn you into a bad person. It won’t happen like that again.”  
  
“It’s not just that. I yelled at him too.”  
  
Shingo frowns. “But we do that too,” he argues. “Just the last time Satoshi yelled at Masaki. And a few weeks ago I yelled at Satoshi. So what? We can’t always get along.”  
  
 “It’s different when I fight with Sho,” Takuya explains, raising Shingo’s confusion. Takuya is feeding him with quite some information, but it’s hard to fit it all together. “Because Sho is older. We argue differently. When it’s Jun I always feel bad afterwards. I feel like I have a lot more power than he has, and that it’s never a fair fight.”  
  
“Takuya-kun,” Shingo smiles. “You grew up differently than I did. Still, all you do is think about your family. You try to make your brothers lead the life they want and consider their feelings. Of course you have to learn too. I think you are dealing with things well.”  
  
“I hope you are right,” Takuya says with a deep unsettling frown.  
  
Shingo swallows. “Takuya, I want to ask you something. Did your f-“  
  
“Not now.” Takuya shakes his head. “Whatever you want to ask me, you can’t ask it here. Wait for us to be alone. All alone.”  
  
Shingo knows he is right, but at the same time, he knows that if he waits for hours he won’t find the courage again. There has never been a more open moment between them. “Your father abused you, didn’t he?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Shingo asked an important question. What will Takuya answer though? We'll hear more about that next chapter! The next two chapters will not be as Junba-focused as before, because I need to work towards the 'next huge thing' happening between them. Before that I want to lay out and tie together the other loose plot ends. ^^  
> Oh, and I haven't forgotten about Satoshi of course. His plot starts kind of late, but there will be something, I promise. Also let's not forget the creep that was after Nino and Ryo >>


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Takuya answer Shingo's question or will he get mad? Meanwhile Kazu seems to be in danger, and Satoshi finally faces an encounter of his past.

He has expected Takuya to either get mad at him or deny it, but to his surprise Takuya didn’t react in any way back in the kitchen. He just looked to the side for a while, then he grabbed two bowls with salad. “Let’s take them outside,” he said before he threw Shingo a thoughtful glance. “Later.”  
  
Now it’s _later_ , and Masaki and Nino decided to stay behind and help Jun and Sho with cleaning up, while Satoshi decided to take some of the younger ones home in his car. Satoshi has told him that he has something to do later on. Shingo isn’t just sure what it is. But Satoshi doesn’t waste many words normally, and when he keeps entirely silent about something he has to respect it.  
  
It’s good to finally be all alone with Takuya though, because when the door behind them closes and they are alone in Takuya’s apartment, he can finally ask what he wants to know so badly. Just that it’s so difficult now when he can’t be spontaneous anymore.  
  
He sighs, taking two glasses and a bottle with wine. “Drink?” he asks.  
  
Takuya smiles. “Fine.”  
  
They settle down on the sofa, meaning Shingo stretches down on the sofa, while Takuya takes the sofa chair.  
  
“I was right, wasn’t I?” Shingo starts, because if he drags it any longer he won’t ask. Ever. “Your father abused you, didn’t he?”  
  
A tiny hopeful part of him almost wishes that Takuya wouldn’t say something, but he does. “I think as a child it’s really difficult to tell if it’s abuse or not. Even when you grow up, it’s still not clear.”  
  
“And your brothers?” Shingo wants to know. “What do you feel when you think about how your father treated them?  
  
Takuya’s eyes narrow, getting darker all of a sudden. “Then I get majorly pissed, and am very glad that my father already passed away, because I’m sure I would have killed him myself otherwise. Unbelievable how he treated Sho. If only I had opened my eyes earlier.”  
  
“And Jun?” Shingo asks carefully.  
  
“I’m not sure, to be honest,” Takuya answers. “My father loved Jun’s mother, and it seems he never beat her or Jun. But he suffocated her, and maybe also him.”  
  
“Your mother killed herself?” Shingo inquires further, not sure how far he can go.  
  
“No, Jun’s. Mine and Sho’s gave up and at one point died of an illness. Jun’s mother committed suicide.”  
  
“But,” Shingo stutters. “You said he loved Jun’s mother.”  
  
“I said, he loved her too much,” Takuya corrects him. “I can’t tell what truly happened. But I’m sure something did.” He pauses. “She ran away once and took Jun with her. He was twelve back then. Shortly afterwards she killed herself,” he adds quietly.  
  
Shingo stays silent, one part of him wants to ask for details, but the other knows he can’t ask for more and he probably won’t get more information for now anyways. Takuya telling him as much already means a lot. He takes a sip from his glass, when it finally dawns on him. “Is this why you don’t want to be in a relationship?” he asks, eyes widening when Takuya looks at him in shock. “It is! But…”  
  
“Listen,” Takuya says with insistence. “They say kids that grew up in a violent environment will get violent too. And I don’t want that to happen.”  
  
“You are _not_ your father,” Shingo intervenes.  
  
“You don’t know that, and I don’t know it either,” Takuya points out in a matter of fact tone. “I don’t want to hurt anyone I love.”  
  
“But I’m not scared of you,” Shingo argues. “You are actually really kind and soft-hearted. You just hide it well.”  
  
Takuya has to smile slightly at the last comment. “You are delusional,” he comments dryly. “Come, let’s grab that bottle of whisky and get drunk.”  
  
Shingo nods weakly. There is a lot he wants to say about everything Takuya told him, voice his support and his understanding, tell him how mad he feels that his father was such an awful man and that he can sympathize with his worries, but he is weirdly spellbound. He just can’t say anything.  
  
Takuya turns around a bit and hands him two whisky glasses. “Help me?” he asks, smiling slightly.  
  
Shingo is up his feet immediately, grabbing the two glasses while wrapping his arms around Takuya’s waist. Takuya lets out a sigh. “Don’t be cheesy now. And… oh my god, don’t tell me you are crying! That’s one of my best sweaters!”  
  
“It’s just so unfair. Life’s unfair,” Shingo huffs and ignores Takuya’s complaints and hugs him tighter, ignoring Takuya’s wriggling as well.  
  
“I didn’t tell you all that stuff so that you would get a nervous breakdown,” Takuya huffs.  
  
“I just wish you had a happy childhood,” Shingo says, nuzzling his nose into Takuya’s hair.  
  
Takuya stays quiet for a while. “I’m happy now,” he finally admits. “It’s not like everything is good, but I have my job which I like, friends, my lovely brothers, and a puppy.”  
  
“A puppy?” Shingo blinks. “You’ve got a puppy?”  
  
“Yeah,” Takuya snorts. “A pretty big one. It won’t go away no matter what.”  
  
Shingo smirks. “Then you don’t have a puppy but some virus sticking to you.” He raises his hands in a zombie-like manner, walking after Takuya into the kitchen. “Let me infect you!”  
  
Takuya chuckles.  
  
  
~~~  
  
Satoshi stares at the street in highest concentration, although there is no traffic at all, but he is scared to face the truth. He has dropped everyone at their homes except for Ryo. It’s just a _feeling_ he has, and he has nothing to prove it. He has only seen this kid twice up to now. One time at Sho’s work, then today.  
  
“You know,” Ryo chats. “You could have let me get out at that bus station.”  
  
“No,” Satoshi says firmly.  
  
“I’ve a long drive home,” Ryo argues. “Really, I’m going to crash at a friend’s place.”  
  
“Is this friend of yours at home?” Satoshi asks.  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“You have a key to his apartment?”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“What?” Satoshi’s eyes widen. “Where are you going to sleep then? In front of his front door!?”  
  
Ryo shrugs. “Why not?”  
  
“Oh my god,” Satoshi breaths out. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation right now.”  
  
“I’m doing this all the time when I’m out late,” Ryo tells him with a chuckle. “I do have a place on my own, but when it’s past midnight I don’t have a bus home anymore. It’s like one and a half hour drive from here, so just drop me at that corner there.”  
  
“No way,” Satoshi intervenes with a huff. “We are driving to my place!”  
  
“To yours?” Ryo laughs, like Satoshi is the one being ridiculous here.  
  
“You are worse than Masaki,” Satoshi sighs.  
  
Ryo chuckles. “I’ve just learned to enjoy my life. You know, we only have this one.”  
  
Yes, Satoshi knows. It can’t be though. Ryo can’t be the kid he knew from that time. His hair is too dark, although hair colour can easily be changed, and he didn’t have that many moles before, and his face is too edgy. Of course one could grow into features… The smile however, it’s this wide-teethed grin that makes Satoshi feel so uncomfortable. Can it be a coincidence?  
  
They drive to Satoshi’s and his brothers’ place in silence. Shingo told him he wouldn’t come home over night (he added a _hopefully_ to it, so Satoshi takes a wild guess he is with Takuya) and Masaki is still hanging out with his new addiction – Jun.   
  
Satoshi parks the car in the garage, and leads Ryo through the path in the garden to the backdoor. “Why,” Ryo says all of a sudden. “Why are you looking at me like that?”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Like you are sorry for something,” Ryo points out, surprisingly sharp. Partly covered by the darkness of the night he almost looks a bit mysterious and his quirky and dorky attitude is suddenly gone. “Like you want me to forgive you.”  
  
“You are reading too much into my attitude.” Satoshi manages to say once he recovered from the initial shock. How can this kid be so sharp? “I’m not that deep really.”  
  
Ryo laughs all of a sudden. “Then we have something in common,” he jokes, and he is his usual self again. “You have a nice house,” he muses. “Masaki-kun invited me once and I was pretty stunned.”  
  
“Only half as big as the Kimura residence.” Satoshi points out.  
  
“Well, no one can quite compare to that family though,” Ryo jokes.  
  
Satoshi chuckles. “To be honest, we weren’t always rich. Shingo won lottery, and we invested the money wisely, and we worked our butts off. I wanted to grant Masaki a good and hopeful future.”  
  
“So all of your money goes to the house, investment and family,” Ryo muses.  
  
“A huge part, yes, but there is also quite a sum remaining for myself. I use it for my art. And as there are not many things I actually want to buy – I’m not into cars or clothes, I like things simple – I donate some of my money.”  
  
“Really?” Ryo asks in surprise. “Where to?”  
  
Satoshi leads him through the living room to the kitchen to prepare some tea for them. “Some children hospital,” he says casually, secretly scanning Ryo’s expression. But unfortunately this kid has a poker face.  
  
“Then you are a good guy.” Ryo smiles.  
  
There it is again. This smile. Satoshi hands him a cup of tea, eyes pinned to Ryo’s shining eyes and wide-teethed smile. “I want to paint you.”  
  
Where the hell did this come from? Weirdest move ever. What does he even want from this kid? He isn’t attracted to him in a sensual way, it’s something else… Now however this kid is probably thinking he is an idiot and-  
  
“Sure,” Ryo agrees. Then he his lips tug into a nervous smile. “Funny. The circle of life.”  
  
Satoshi isn’t quite so certain what he means.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Masaki half lies on top of Jun on the sofa, his lips roaming over his neck, before meeting his lips. It feels wonderful, Jun thinks, he has never imagined that kissing someone could be so wonderful. He had really missed out something in life.  
  
“What are you thinking?” Masaki whispers into his ear.  
  
“That I should have made out in High School,” Jun answers dryly. “I obviously missed out a lot.”  
  
“You are not allowed to think of other guys while you make out with me,” Masaki pouts. He is so cute, it’s unbelievable.  
  
“Don’t worry,” Jun grins. “It’s not like I had anyone in High School who I liked.”  
  
“But you like me?” Masaki wants to know.  
  
“Obviously.” Jun snorts.  
  
“Good because I like you too,” Masaki says with emphasis.  
  
Jun’s heart jumps happily, but at the same time he can’t help but feel doubtful. “Are you sure? Because if you are not, it’s fine too.” No it’s not, but he rather wants to know it now before he gets even deeper into this thing with Masaki. He doesn’t want to get hurt, and he doesn’t want to hurt someone else.  
  
“It is?” Masaki pulls his eyebrows up. “Well, then…”  
  
Jun sits up a bit, pulling away from Masaki’s arms. Something inside his chest hurts all of a sudden. Masaki doesn’t pull away though, instead he is sitting on Jun’s lap now. He brushes with all ten fingers through Jun’s hair, and then grabs his face. “Why do you always doubt me?” he asks softly, and the gesture and his voice are so sweet that Jun can’t push him away. He doesn’t even sound angry, just soft. Jun’s heart races. Is it possible that he finally, really, got lucky and is allowed to fall in love? “Don’t doubt me, Jun-kun. I don’t meet someone else aside of you. I don’t want to meet anyone else. And I like only you.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Jun says, wrapping his arms around Masaki’s waist. “I know it’s stupid. Nino-kun is your friend, just like Kiko and Shun are mine. It’s not even about Nino, it’s just…”  
  
“What is it?” Masaki wants to know, nuzzling his nose into Jun’s hair from above.  
  
“It feels weird that I’m suddenly, I don’t know, somehow happy. It’s like a bubble, and I’m scared it’s going to burst and you’ll be away. A dream, you know? And once I wake up, I’m alone, and the situation with my brothers is the same as before, not like it’s now. And you won’t be here either, and there is no one who can understand me like you do and-”  
  
“Jun-kun,” Masaki interrupts him, surprisingly earnest. “It’s not a dream. Your brothers love you, and always will. And I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
Jun sighs. He knows Masaki tells him the truth, simply because Masaki wouldn’t lie to him, to anyone. But at the same time feeling happy is so rare for him that he doesn’t quite trust it. He is almost scared of this feeling. He knows where it comes from, but he is afraid to face it, scared of ripping open old wounds.  
  
“Don’t go,” he hears himself say to his own horror. How pathetic. “Just don’t leave me.”  
  
“I won’t,” Masaki says softly, pulling him into a warm and comforting hug. “Jun, I won’t leave you. I’m going to stay. Please believe me.” He pauses, his voice shaking slightly. “Jun, promise me you won’t leave me either.”  
  
Jun looks up in surprise at the sudden change of atmosphere. Now it’s Masaki looking at him slightly scared. “Of course I won’t leave.”  
  
“You’ll stay with me, won’t you? I’m good enough for you?”  
  
Jun tries not to let his confusion show too much because to him Masaki is perfect and deserves the best. How can he believe he isn’t good enough to be with Jun out of all? It’s not like Jun is anything special. Jun wraps his arms around Masaki tighter, nodding. “Of course I will stay!” He smiles carefully. “How about we try to trust each other?” he offers.  
  
Masaki nods. “I would like that,” he admits.  
  
Jun looks at him carefully, wondering if he should ask about Masaki’s weird behaviour. There is something he hides, Jun has realized long ago when he met Masaki for their tutoring lessons only. But he doesn’t quite understand what it is. “Masaki,” he says softly.  
  
“I know,” Masaki’s lips tug. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it. I don’t know how to say it, you know?”  
  
Jun knows pretty well what Masaki means. “We still have time,” he finally says.  
  
Masaki nods in relief, pecking Jun’s lips softly. “You know what else would be great?” he finally asks.  
  
Jun looks at him curiously. “What?”  
  
“Food!”  
  
Jun chuckles. “Well, that’s something we can definitely work on.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
Unfortunately Masaki can’t stay overnight. Or rather: He could, but Jun feels too unsure about having someone actually sleep at his place, and then wake up and have breakfast with him and his brothers. No, that would be too much awkwardness for Masaki.  
  
One step after another. It’s Sunday, but when he eyes his typical Sunday yukata, he decides to challenge himself for once and do something differently. He doesn’t even want to wear that thing, never did, so why not go for a simple pair of jeans, a white shirt and a comfortable sweater.  
  
His heart beats nervously when he pads downstairs, walking particularly slowly once he sees the salon and can hear Sho’s and Takuya’s voices. He is about to turn around and head back upstairs to change, when unfortunately one of the maids sees him and greets him happily. Okay, now they know he is here.  
  
He swallows slightly when he enters the salon. Here goes nothing. If they scold him, he will try not to get into a fight with them and-  
  
“Good morning!” Sho greets him with a smile, he is in his bathrobe while Takuya is still wearing the clothes from yesterday evening.  
  
“Ah, Jun-chan,” Takuya says, obviously in a completely unknown weird, but apparently also good mood. “I can see both my cute little brothers today for breakfast. How nice.”  
  
“Wait, are you also calling me cute?” Sho asks in disbelief.  
  
“Not as cute as Jun,” Takuya argues.  
  
“I’m not cute at all!” Sho says with emphasis.  
  
“You are my brother, younger than me, it means you are cute,” Takuya says in a voice that lets no room for discussion.  
  
Jun can’t help a grin. “Morning,” he says, forgetting his former uneasiness and sitting down with a relieved smile. His eyes immediately catch the huge plate with poached eggs and fried ham. “Western style?” he asks.  
  
“Yes,” Sho smiles. “I was hungry.”  
  
“You are always hungry,” Jun points out dryly, biting down on his tongue immediately afterwards. He didn’t mean to insult Sho. To his surprise though Takuya chuckles and Sho grins.  
  
“If you are too cheeky, I might just accidentally eat your share of the eggs,” Sho teases.  
  
“Sorry,” Jun says and doesn’t meant it at all. He can’t believe they are having fun. It’s an entirely different atmosphere.  
  
“Are you meeting someone today?” Sho asks after a while.  
  
Jun shakes his head. “No, Shun has a date, Kiko is sick, Masaki has work.” Jun tilts his head. “Oh, and Nino too.” Sho almost spills some of his tea at the mention of Nino’s name. Jun blinks in surprise. “Anything wrong?”  
  
“No, just… hot…” Sho coughs. “Tea.” Takuya and Jun exchange a glance at Sho’s weird rambling. “Well, as you are free, how about we do something together?”  
  
Jun’s head perks up. “Really?”  
  
“I want to watch movies,” Sho points out.  
  
“Well, in that case I could cook something for us…” Jun suggests hopefully.  
  
“I’ll help,” Takuya offers.  
  
Jun looks at the both of them sceptically. “I think it’s a great idea, but… I don’t know… don’t you have a life you would rather like to attend to today?”  
  
Sho grins. “You do realize you are part of our life too?” He tilts his head. “And well, aside of you two and Satoshi, no, I don’t think I have a life.”  
  
Jun blinks. That sounded sad. “Then I’ll cook your favourite dish today,” he offers.  
  
Takuya laughs all of a sudden. “Now he is feeling sorry for you, Sho.”  
  
Both Sho and Jun blush.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Satoshi can basically see Masaki’s surprise written all over his face. His little brother was more than surprised to find Ryo in the apartment, and realize he stayed overnight. “Ryo-kun didn’t have a place to go back home to.”  
  
“That’s not true,” Ryo argues. “Your brother was just being complicated.”  
  
Shingo snorts in amusement, biting into his piece of toast. He already got the details from Satoshi. He turns to Masaki. “Yes, of course, your friend does have a place to stay, but after midnight there is no bus or subway taking him there anymore. He wanted to crash at a friend’s place, though the friend wasn’t at home.”  
  
“Said he would sleep in front of his door,” Satoshi explains.  
  
“Are you for real, Ryo-kun?” Masaki asks in disbelief and much to Satoshi’s relief, sleeping somewhere on the ground outside (except for camping) doesn’t seem to appeal to Masaki either.  
  
Ryo shrugs. “I always find a place,” he says casually, nodding thankfully when Satoshi hands him a bowl with soup.  
  
“And when you have your gigs?” Masaki wants to know.  
  
“Oh, I hang out with the others, sleep on one of their sofas, or just don’t go at sleep at all. YOLO, you know.” Ryo sounds almost innocent, fascinating Satoshi by the way he can say all this stuff and sound all convincing.  
  
“Why don’t you get an apartment closer to the city?” Masaki asks.  
  
“Thank you,” Shingo sighs out. “I already asked the same.”  
  
“It’s difficult,” Ryo explains. “It needs to be somewhere where I can practise my music, at the same time safe, because I tend to come home late. I definitely need a bus in the morning to go to work. Oh, and I have two dogs. And it shouldn’t be too expensive. I’m not rich at all.”  
  
“Wow,” Shingo breaths out in deepest amazement. “We’ve found someone who is even more happy-go-lucky than you Masa!”  
  
“I’m not happy-go-lucky,” Masaki argues. “May I remind you that I even passed my exam last week!”  
  
“We knew you would be able to make it,” Satoshi says with a proud smile. When Masaki told him he gave this important exam a go and made it thanks to Jun’s help, he felt so happy and proud.  
  
Ryo smiles too. Obviously not wanting to interrupt their happy family moment any longer, he gets up. “Thanks for your kindness, Satoshi-san,” he says. “I guess I should leave you alone now. I never meant to crash at your place.”  
  
“Is your bus already driving back?” Shingo asks, eyeing Ryo questioningly.  
  
Ryo shifts around a bit, making Masaki frown. “What?” he asks sharply. “What’s the problem?”  
  
“You know, my apartment is two hours away from my work,” Ryo says weakly. “To be honest, I’m not driving back at all during weekdays. There is also no bus back in the mornings. But that’s okay. I think I’ll take a walk and visit Subaru, my band-mate. The problem is he has three girlfriends at the moment, and they are not supposed to know from each other, but one of them apparently found out and now he tries to stop her from going hysteric. Or something like that. I have a sleeping bag.”  
  
Satoshi’s mind goes almost blank. What’s with this kid, seriously? How can anyone be so carefree? He even works for Sho in  his law-firm, but his lifestyle is a complete mess. “Don’t you have family, Ryo-san?”  
  
“Nope,” Ryo shakes his head. “Just my sister. We are living together.”  
  
“Doesn’t she work?” Shingo wants to know.  
  
“Oh, she does,” Ryo points out. “She has also a few friends in town and-“  
  
“Okay!” Satoshi interrupts him with a sigh, not wanting to hear how a young woman lives such a dangerous lifestyle. “Okay, let’s make a deal. I’m going to help you and your sister find a cheap and good apartment in town as exchange for your agreement to let me paint you.”  
  
Ryo tilts his head for a moment, looking surprised. Then he nods a bit. “Okay,” he accepts. “But you don’t need to do that.”  
  
“I know, but I want to,” Satoshi says, ignoring the surprised glance Shingo throws him. He knows it’s pathetic, because it’s impossible that Ryo is this kid from hospital back then when he was a teenager himself, but still… he reminds him of it, and he wants to help his doppelganger now, maybe by doing something good now, he can erase his mistakes from the past.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
“You know,” Sho says, he has emptied two bowls with soba and demands a third now. “I love soba. Soba is everything.”  
  
“Good that we know our position in your life then,” Takuya teases. “Soba, drag queens and then us.”  
  
They have first tried to choose movies they all like. It’s impossible of course so Jun suggested they could each choose a movie of their own taste and the others weren’t allowed to complain. Exception is extremely gross stuff and movies over three hours. Jun chose Harry Potter, well aware that he is probably straining Takuya’s and Sho’s nerves with it, Takuya chose Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Sho Priscilla. A movie he hasn’t seen himself, but he likes Hugo Weaving and said, he wanted to see it so badly. It’s a movie about drag queens, and seriously the weirdest and most awkward movie Jun has ever watched, especially since he has to watch it with his two older brothers. He needs to show it Masaki though. It’s full of sexual jokes and references.  
  
“I really didn’t know it’s like this,” Sho tries to defend his honour.  
  
“Why? It’s awesome,” Jun argues.  
  
“You really think so?” Takuya asks sceptically.  
  
“Yes, totally awesome. I’ll definitely watch it with Masaki-kun,” Jun explains light-heartedly. Takuya and Sho exchange a weird glance which Jun can’t quite grasp. “Anything wrong?” he asks.  
  
“You know,” Takuya starts so carefully that Jun sits up immediately. What’s all this about? “Sho and I have been thinking… and talking…”  
  
Sho nods. “We don’t mind you and Masaki being together,” he says.  
  
“But?” Jun asks nervously. The fact that these two actually guessed something about him and Masaki turns him into a strained bundle of nerves immediately.  
  
“I…” Sho looks at Takuya helplessly.  
  
The latter just shrugs. “You might want to get…eh… curious for certain things.”  
  
Jun tries to process his words, wondering what the hell they are talking about when it finally dawns on him. He stares at them in horror. It can’t be that they want to talk with him about sex! “We are not going to have that kind of talk now!? Are you serious?” he huffs, his nervousness from before flying out of the window.  
  
“It’s just so you know that…” Sho starts, all serious. “...If you have any questions, you can always come and ask us. It’s not like I’m such a pro though but at least I had my share of experience. I’ve had a few hot encounters in my wild years.”  
  
“Oh my god,” Jun breaths out. “Don’t go any more into detail!”  
  
“Your wild years?” Takuya snickers. “Your wild years probably only lasted for two months!”  
  
Sho pouts. “That’s not true. It was half a year, maybe even longer! And why are you teasing me all the time. You said I’m your cute little brother, tease Jun too!”  
  
“No way,” Takuya chuckles. “ Jun is the youngest and therefor automatically the cutest. You don’t tease your cute little brother.”  
  
Jun doesn’t join their talk, glad that it’s going into a different more silly direction. He believes he is off the hook when Sho looks at him again. “What I wanted to say is: You can always ask us for advice or talk to us about your problems, also in this field.”  
  
“There is no way I would ever come to you and ask about sex!” Jun says in mere horror. Even the thought of it already freaking him out.  
  
“There is not?” Sho asks, looking disappointed all of a sudden.  
  
“No!” Jun huffs.  
  
“And other than that, everything goes well?” Takuya asks curiously, making Jun wonder since when his brothers are actually so nosy.  
  
“I guess,” he answers warily.  
  
“If you want to lead a successful relationship,” Takuya says out of the blue. “Not that I have experience in that field, but… judging from the people around me… you should always be open.”  
  
“Easier said than done,” Jun says almost automatically, realizing too late that he almost slipped. Gladly his brothers didn’t really notice.  
  
“Yes,” Takuya muses. “That’s true.”  
  
“Maybe the first step should be being honest to us,” Sho says all of a sudden, and it’s actually not a bad advice, just that it’s impossible to tell them about everything. Jun doesn’t want to hurt them, and he knows they would feel hurt. “If you are honest to us and open up more, it would be easier to do so in front of someone you like, right Takuya?”  
  
Takuya is surprisingly quiet… for a _surprisingly_ long time. He sighs. “Since we are already talking about being honest,” he pauses, frowning slightly. “I’m not sure what it is and where it’s going to, but I’m kind of meeting Shingo-kun on a regular basis.”  
  
Sho blinks at least four times. “You mean, Satoshi’s older brother?” He squeals in surprise when Takuya nods. “That’s the type of person you like!? He is super casual and loud and eats a lot, he has a shirt with obscene mottos on it, he just blabs without thinking and-“  
  
“You do know that most of this description fits on your own person too,” Takuya comments dryly. “Minus the shirt.”  
  
Jun laughs. When Sho blushes furiously, he holds back his amusement. “But we love the gluttonous silly you,” Jun tells him. “It’s so much cooler than how you were before. You are actually fun when you don’t hold back.”  
  
“He is right,” Takuya agrees with a smile. “Being yourself suits you well.”  
  
“Really?” Sho asks, blushing slightly at their compliments. “It’s still a bit weird though… You and Shingo out of all…”  
  
“I’m not sure if we are a _we_ , to be honest,” Takuya tells them. He looks at Jun curiously. “You aren’t surprised.”  
  
“I had a feeling,” Jun says. “He already told me how he finds you cute. And he looks at you like he wants to squish you all the time.”  
  
“Means he has courage,” Sho says dryly, making Jun chuckle. Indeed.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Nino yawns tiredly when he walks home. He has just met with Masaki and Kame and got filled in with the homeless-news about Ryo. It’s been a long week and he is looking forward to having some relaxing time at home.  
  
When he is about to open the door to his apartment building, he can feel his phone vibrating. It’s a message from Sho. _Picking you up for the musical on Wednesday! Or would you rather like to meet right there?_  
  
Having Sho pick him up sounds like a dream! He is not going to let this chance slip. _If you picked me up, it would be really convenient. Thank you!! :-)_  
  
He puts his phone back, blinking suddenly when he hears something rustling in the park at the other side of the street. He turns around, squeezing his eyes. For a moment it feels like there is a shadow watching him. Nino feels uncomfortable all of a sudden. It’s in the middle of the night and he is all alone. It’s probably just his imagination, but still… He takes his phone again, pretending to pick it up. “Yes, dad, I’m almost at home!” he says into his phone although his father is somewhere in Prague at the moment for business, and when he is in Tokyo he isn’t living with him anyways. “Please open the door, I’m coming in!”  
  
With that he hangs up, hoping that in case someone has indeed been watching him, he has been scared away now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of getting nervous and excited now, because... maybe you noticed but I pushed some plot parts into a certain direction and I'm soon going to get down to a few loose ends and reveal a few things. Kind of anxious how you all will react to a few things ^^  
> First of all: We have a bit more about Satoshi here - I feel like I neglected his character too long and I hope you still remember that moment when he met with Sho at Sho's work and saw Ryo? This here is finally the continuation of it. Something in his past still influences him. (sorry for neglecting him for so long)  
> Meanwhile Takuya is brutally honest towards Shingo and answers his question, and also reveals why he doesn't want to have a relationship. And... he even says something about Jun's mother.  
> I realized I'm still using Sho as comedic relief, but now that he stopped being so stiff around his brothers, he just became so fluffy (Priscilla is an awesome movie by the way. :D Imagining Takuya's expression while watching it... ^^) It's fun writing the Jun-brothers now that they are open towards each other, and even want to talk about sex *lol* (who would have thought they are alright with Jun and Masaki dating?)  
> And someone follows Nino?


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takuya and Sho find a letter from their father... concerning Jun. Meanwhile Masaki and Jun get closer and closer. Nino and Ryo however are in great danger.

“I feel a bit uncomfortable here,” Masaki admits.  
  
“Why?” Jun wants to know. His eyes widen. “Is it because of me?”  
  
Masaki is amazed by the fact how uncertain Jun can be sometimes. It’s almost ridiculous how he can lose confidence in this aspect of his life while in other aspects he is perfectly confident and calm, but apparently being in a relationship or anything alike pushed him to his limits. “Not because of you,” Masaki shakes his head. “Why do you even say that? It’s because I don’t fit here!”  
  
Jun looks around in surprise. “You mean into this restaurant? I thought you wanted to try something different. You even told me I should look for a restaurant I would frequent and you wouldn’t normally.”  
  
“It’s so high class,” Masaki whispers.  
  
“Not at all,” Jun smiles. “Look how many young people there are, some holding hands. And a lot of people with jeans. This is just a popular restaurant but not one of those dresscode-obligated restaurants, where we can’t even read the menu. It’s a normal restaurant and no one even cares who dines here as long as everyone behaves. ”  
  
“I know,” Masaki looks around, it feels like everyone is watching him, realizing that he doesn’t belong to this world. To Jun’s world. Like what is he even thinking to date Jun. To imagine he can even remotely keep up with Jun, his beauty and his smart mind. “Still, it feels so off. I mean, don’t laugh, but you fit perfectly. Wherever you go to, no matter if it’s a concert or a dinner party or a ball or a high-class restaurant or a cool hipster restaurant like this here, you just fit. You fit into everything. I on the other side am just Masaki.”  
  
Jun frowns, his eyes getting darker all of a sudden. Masaki knows it’s not the right time to think that, but he looks so hot when he is getting angry. “Hey,” Jun huffs in a low tone. “Don’t talk yourself down ever again in front of me. I won’t let anyone say something bad about you, not even yourself.”  
  
Masaki smiles, his heart warming at the realisation that Jun thinks so highly of him and defends him, even against himself. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“Better be,” Jun grumbles. “Because ten minutes ago you were still scolding me for being insecure.”  
  
Masaki nods. That’s true. He hasn’t even seen it, but although they didn’t share the same insecurities, they still had a pretty huge amount of them. “We should learn to face these things and work on them.”  
  
“Yes,” Jun says, and his voice sounds wary all of a sudden, like he is deep in thought. Masaki frowns, he knows this look, he has seen it with Kazu years ago. Jun is not going to do something stupid, is he?  
  
To distract Jun he shoves one of his sushi into his mouth. Jun giggles. “You idiot, what are you doing.”  
  
Masaki grins, happy that the mood is lighter again. “These are good,” he points out casually.  
  
Jun nods, chewing on the sushi. “Almost as good as mine,” he points out with a cheeky smirk.  
  
Masaki laughs. “Your self-made ones are better,” he points out, secretly hoping for Jun to cook something for him again.  
  
Jun gets the message immediately. “You just want me to cook for you,” he says with a grin.  
  
“Totally right,” Masaki sighs. “I would eat anything you make. Like your pasta. Or the soba noodles. Oh, and the rice bowl with chicken.”  
  
“I get it,” Jun giggles. “I’ll cook for you tomorrow.”  
  
Masaki’s head perks up. “Really?”  
  
“Yes, are you free?”  
  
Masaki nods fiercely. “Of course. Should we meet are your place? Afternoon?”  
  
“Sure, why not.” Jun looks at him almost shyly. “So, it’s a date?”  
  
Masaki smiles brightly, his heart jumping in joy. “For me it is,” he says honestly.  
  
Jun rewards him with a beautiful smile that sends butterflies through Masaki’s stomach. “Hey, Jun-kun,” he says after a while. “I’m going to the restroom.”  
  
Jun nods tentatively, looking surprised when Masaki looks at him expectantly. Then however he raises his eyebrows. “Well…” he muses. “See you later.”  
  
Masaki chuckles and gets up. He closes the door behind him, relieved that there is only one single toilet and no one else can enter. When there is knock at the door, he opens it nervously. “May I join,” Jun says innocently.  
  
Masaki laughs and pulls him inside, closing the door behind them and kissing Jun happily. They draw apart for a moment and Jun locks the door.  
  
“Classy,” Jun comments dryly when Masaki takes his face between his hands and pulls him closer.  
  
“Where is the problem?” Masaki jokes. “It’s the perfect make-out place. We can cross it from our list.”  
  
“Hm, there is a list?” Jun hums, brushing his lips over Masaki’s cheeks. “What else is on the list? Library?”  
  
“Yes.” Masaki nods mock-earnestly. “And university. Cinema.”  
  
“During a family meeting in the kitchen,” Jun points out.  
  
“We did that already,” Masaki intervenes, remembering their family dinner right before his argument with Satoshi… when Jun kissed him in the kitchen.  
  
“Oh, right,” Jun blushes slightly, before he chuckles. “So, the restroom, in between dinner and dessert.”  
  
“We only have five minutes, maximum,” Masaki says earnestly and grabs Jun’s collar with a grin. “So… less talking.”  
  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Takuya is still in his office when he receives a call from Higashiyama. The greeting is surprisingly short and without any teasing or banter, which immediately unsettles Takuya. “Something happened?”  
  
“Takuya-kun,” Higashiyama says earnestly. “I’ve found a few documents from your father. You know it yourself how much of a mess he left behind. But this one is different. It concerns the inheritance he left! Believe me, you would want to take a look at it. It’s about Jun.”  
  
Takuya sits up straight in his chair, eyebrows furrowing slightly. About Jun? He takes a look at his clock. It’s already close to 8PM. “I’m dropping by in an hour. Can you wait as long?”  
  
“Of course,” Higashiyama agrees. “I’ll prepare everything I found meanwhile. And something to drink.”  
  
The only things Takuya still feels able to do after this talk is giving a few last orders to his assistant and tell him to go home early enough tonight, and write Sho a message to meet him at the old office in case he has time.  
  
One hour later he rushes through the door to his father’s old office. He hasn’t been there since years. After his father died he handled a few remaining issues there and then handed everything to Higashiyama. In fact stepping into this room again makes his heart clench and his body tense. Like _he_ is still there.  
  
It’s like his father is still alive. And this feeling is the most unsettling one he has encountered since forever. It’s like he expects to be called there and be beaten up for something he said or did.  
  
“Takuya-kun.” Higashiyama smiles at him when he approaches him and Takuya feels slightly at ease again.  
  
Gladly Sho is on time too and comes through the door right at this moment. “Oh my god,” Sho mumbles and looks around, his face carrying a distressed expression all of a sudden. Takuya figures it’s probably a mirror of his own expression. He wonders what kind of memories Sho has with this place and if they are equally bad as his.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Higashiyama says all of a sudden. “This is probably not bringing good memories to you. To be honest, I wasn’t thinking properly. We could have also met somewhere else.”  
  
“No,” Takuya says quietly. “We need to be able to face the past.”  
  
“The past shouldn’t dictate your present life though,” Higashiyama points out with a concerned look.  
  
“It will only stop dictating our lives and who we are if we get over it,” Sho answers, obviously sharing Takuya’s sentiment here. “And to get over it we need to face it.”  
  
“So, what do you have?” Takuya asks in interest.  
  
“I’ve found the last remains of the inheritance,” Higashiyama explains while they all sit down at the round table in the middle of the room.  “Well, a lot of it got settled already years ago, gladly. But this here…” He points at a folder. “This here concerns Jun.”  
  
“Specifically?” Sho asks in surprise.  
  
Higashiyama nods. “You are the family lawyer, Sho-san, so I assume you should check it, but…I don’t think there are any legal problems with this.” He opens the folder, revealing a key and a document, handing it to Sho.  
  
The latter reads through it thoughtfully, eyes widening. “A key to a bank deposit safe,” he explains. “And in it is the estate of Jun’s mother.”  
  
“I thought everything got lost after she committed suicide. Our father said she burned everything,” Takuya states in sincere surprise, while he accepts the document Sho hands him with a thankful nod. He is stunned when he reads through it, a list is attached to it with all her possessions that are locked away in the safe. “Jewellery, family memories and…”  
  
“Yes,” Higashiyama mumbles. “Letters, diaries. Everything Jun’s mother specifically wanted her son to have. Her will is in this folder as well.”  
  
“He has kept all this from Jun?” Takuya asks in disbelief. “I could understand the jewellery, but he has locked away every single memory Jun could have saved from his mother, and never let him have his proper good-bye.”  
  
“He told him that nothing remained, that she destroyed everything before she died!” Sho blurts out, eyes furrowed in anger. “Jun was crushed that there was nothing left behind, no good-bye, he thought that his mother just went away and didn’t think of him…”  
  
“There is something else,” Higashiyama shows them another document. It’s from their bank.  
  
“A trust fund?” Takuya asks in surprise. When his father died, he left them a lot of money. The only good he actually did for them. There was plenty of money and both he and Sho were good and dedicated in their fields of work, able to broaden their wealth. But their father didn’t think of one of them specifically, unlike Jun’s mother who apparently wanted her son to receive all her private possessions. Their father didn’t have such sentiments, probably he didn’t like his children enough. But now there is a whole bank deposit just for Jun.  
  
“After Jun is 25 it belongs to him,” Sho mumbles while he reads through the document. “You are right. Legally it’s all approved and right. But… isn’t it strange? I mean, we have plenty of money, and father didn’t do anything alike for either of us. Seems like he really cared for Jun.”  
  
“I’m not so sure,” Takuya says quietly. “Sounds more like he had a bad conscious.” He looks at Higashiyama. “There is something else, right?”  
  
“Yes, a letter.” The older man hands him a letter, it’s still in its envelop. “I haven’t read it.”  
  
Takuya swiftly opens it. It’s short, so he reads it out aloud.  
  
 _Everything in this folder belongs to my youngest son, Jun. It’s enough money to ensure him a lifelong safety and a life without worry. All the private possessions of my deceased wife are safely at the bank for him to take whenever he wants to. He has the heart and the soul of his mother, who will never forgive me even in the other world for the things I did once she passed away. May they forgive me._  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
  
“It wasn’t necessary for you to do this,” Ryo repeats for the hundredth time.  
  
“I know,” Satoshi answers. “But I want to help. Don’t question it too much, I don’t question my decisions either. We are all pretty impulsive in my family.”  
  
Ryo has to smile at this comment. “I don’t know why you are so kind, but let me thank you.” He bows deeply until Satoshi begs him to get up again.  
  
“This is embarrassing,” Satoshi whines. “Please stop it.”  
  
Satoshi has helped him a lot through the last days.  He has also met his sister, Yui, a sweet young woman, only two years older than Ryo. She has asthma and was so happy about the new apartment that she almost had a little attack. It’s good for his sister, that’s why Ryo agreed to it in the end, but actually he does feel a bit surprised. He wonders what Satoshi actually wants to achieve by helping him. He always looks so guilty like he once did something to him in the past.  
  
He also didn’t forget his promise to Satoshi of course, at least something he can give him back. He is supposed to model for him. Ryo was scared first that Satoshi wants to make a nude painting. But it’s nothing alike. Satoshi just keeps sitting in Ryo’s new living room, with his canvas in front of him and watches Ryo playing the guitar, basically panting him while he is living his normal life.  
  
“You know, I thought you would paint me nude,” Ryo can’t help but admit, feeling really relieved though. Satoshi has explained to him that he won’t necessary paint him directly but rather will use him for inspiration. Like a muse.  
  
Satoshi blinks, then he laughs. “Do you want me to paint you nude?” he teases.  
  
Ryo shakes his head, blushing a bit. “I know I’m a hot beast, but no… I’d rather not.”  
  
“Why not?” Satoshi wants to know.  
  
“I have a scar,” Ryo admits. “I had surgery when I was a kid. And it’s nothing I’m ashamed of, but I’m not sure if I would be comfortable enough for a picture.”  
  
Satoshi nods knowingly. He seems to understand, much to Ryo’s relief.  
  
  
It’s later that evening that Ryo meets with Sho. Yes, his awkward boss Sho, who apparently wants to become more approachable to his subordinates. He told Ryo he has decided that they need to go for a drink to get to know each other and work well together. Ryo doesn’t mind. He likes Sho. He is good at his work, dedicated, pretty firm and knows what he wants, but respectful. Ryo can deal well with direct.  
  
He doesn’t forget though to inform one of his new friends. After all Masaki and Nino were really nice to him, they are truly good-hearted guys, and if Nino has a crush on Sho, he can help him a bit by feeding him with information he gets through working together with Sho.  
  
 _Nino, be at Old Owl Bar in an hour, pretend it to be a coincidence. And don’t forget to thank me later – the next ten dinners are on you._  
  
Nino’s answer comes fast. _Why? You need to have a good reason._  
  
 _Trust me, you won’t regret it :P  But don’t tell your lover-boy that I blabbed! – let’s say the next twenty dinners! And dress hot!_  
  
 _Idiot… okay, I’ll be there._  
  
Of course he is. Love is something weird. Ryo has to smile a bit, he hasn’t dated someone in a while, but he doesn’t mind either. For now his dear sister means the most to him, first she should be happy, then he would look for his own happiness.  
  
  
~~~  
  
Nino can’t believe his luck, a whole evening with Sho. Ryo was nice enough to inform him that they went out for a casual drink. He is also nice enough to give him room enough to talk to Sho alone after he made his coincidence-entrance. _Oh my god, Sho-kun and Ryo, you are here too?_ It was an award-winning performance, really.  
  
Sho is dressed in a silk black shirt and he looks so freaking fucking hot, it takes Nino’s breath away. He tries to lean forward sometimes just to take in his scent and to his joy Sho doesn’t seem to pull away, he actually even orders them drinks and food, apparently forgetting that he is here with Ryo and not with Nino.  
  
For a moment Nino feels a bit guilty because Ryo is alone, but when the latter just winks at him and gives him the thumbs up before flirting with the pretty barkeeper, he knows it’s alright.  
  
Nino is not someone who likes to stay out long or party, but he doesn’t mind this time. He is just hopeless, like a teen in love. At one point he even pulls Sho on the dance floor and they dance together, and suddenly there are Sho’s arms around his body, pulling him closer. Nino looks into his eyes deeply, trying to put it all in there.  
  
“What are you doing to me?” Sho mumbles. “Putting me under your spell from the first moment on.”  
  
Nino bends forward, deciding it’s this moment or none, and leaning forward to kiss Sho. Sho answers first, kissing Nino almost desperately, before he grabs Nino’s wrists and pulls him away softly. “This is not a good idea,” he says calmly.  
  
He sounds neither annoyed nor unfriendly, still it makes Nino’s stomach twitch painfully. He rips his hands away from Sho’s grasp. “I’m sorry,” he stutters and turns around, rushing through the room and outside.  
  
“No, Kazu-kun,” Sho calls after him. “Don’t go.”  
  
Nino doesn’t hear him anymore. What he hears though is someone rushing after him, it’s Ryo. “Don’t run so fast,” Ryo whines. “Sho-san told me to immediately run after you and make sure you are well. Wait,” he grabs Nino’s wrist and stops him.  
  
Nino flinches. “I made a fool out of myself.”  
  
“Not at all,” Ryo pants heavily. He coughs. “Sho-san was looking completely panicked and told me he still has to pay and I should make you…” he coughs again. “Wait… and then he wants to talk to you….” Another cough. “And he looked so worried.”  
  
“Ryo-kun?” Nino stares at him. “Are you feeling unwell? What is wrong?”  
  
Ryo clasps his chest. “Not good with running,” he pants. “Was sick as a child. I…”  
  
Ryo’s voice seems to trail off, and for a moment Nino believes he will collapse right here, but his eyes seem to be glued to something else. When Nino turns around he knows what it is. A few guys are approaching them, one of them is the guy that already harassed them once.  
  
Nino looks around, of course they are in a deserted area now and it’s dark and no one around. Wow, can this evening become even better? “Yo, guys,” he tries to sound casual. “Can we help you?”  
  
“Yes, tell us which one of you is this awful lawyer’s bitch!”  
  
Nino frowns. This is about him. Technically he isn’t anything to Sho, but they don’t know it and they probably won’t believe him. Ryo however has nothing to do with it, he should try to make him leave. Before he can step forward though, Ryo grabs his wrist and shakes his head. “Like they would let one of us go away,” he snarls angrily. “Don’t play the hero now.” Towards the guys he just huffs a “We don’t know what you are talking, you fake-yakuza assholes!”  
  
“Who is playing the hero now?” Nino mumbles.  
  
“Can you fight,” Ryo wants to know. Nino shakes the head, making Ryo sigh. “Try to bite and kick as much as you can. Protect your head!”  
  
There isn’t much more time to say something though because the guys close the circle around them. “If you don’t want to talk, we’ll beat it out of you,” one of the guys snarls.  
  
Nino and Ryo exchange a glance. There is nothing to talk about, they both know it. These guys just want to take the chance to kick their butts and probably get back at Sho for something that’s not even his doing.  
  
The guys chase at them all at once, and Nino tries to defend himself as good as he can, tries to dodge their fists. He is not used to working out, let alone fighting, but he gives his best. He clings to their arms, trying to bit them, and he tries not to vomit at the kicks in his stomach. Sometimes Ryo is right there to save him, he is a lot more skilled as a fighter than he is, but he is just one against a bunch. Nino tastes iron in his mouth and then one of the guy hits him with a baseball bat, making him drop to the ground.  
  
“Nino,” Ryo coughs, his breath going heavy just as before. Nino’s sight goes dizzy but he can see Ryo coughing blood. Damn it, Nino thinks, what an evening, before the guy hits him again. This time his sight and mind goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Masaki are really comfortable around each other by now, aren't they? :-) And we have Sakumiya-kiss... just that Sho kind of chickened out?  
> Meanwhile Takuya and Sho find something concerning Jun. How do you think will he react? And Nino and Ryo... I would say they are in big troubles.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens to Nino and Ryo? Sho finally makes a decision! And Satoshi tries to come clear with his past. Meanwhile Jun is hunted by his...

It’s so heavy, his eyelids are so freaking heavy, like there is weight attached to them and pulls them down. He still feels sick and the sight in front of him so dark. He tries to open his eyes, but they hurt. Everything hurts. He can feel someone touching his hand sometimes, and he hears voices. People calling his name.  
  
Annoying. It’s so loud.  
  
He can hear a chuckle. “Seems like he is awake. Come on, Kazu.” A squeeze to his hand.  
  
“Masaki?” he mumbles. Did he say his previous complaint out loud? He forces his eyes to open only to close them again. The light is so freaking intense.  
  
He squeezes his eyes a bit, until he adapts to the light and his surroundings. He sees Masaki, an expression of relief on his face, and Sho, looking equally relieved.  
  
“Thank god,” Sho mumbles.  
  
Nino feels like his whole body is bruised, it probably is. “I don’t even know what happened.”  
  
“You ran away, and when I found you, you were surrounded by a bunch of hooligans. I called the police.” He pauses. “I found out that they already harassed you before. You should have told me. I've put their friend into jail for being abusive towards his wife, I guess they wanted to get back to me for it.”  
  
“You are awake,” Satoshi intervenes when he comes into the room, looking relieved… and worried.  
  
Nino frowns. “Where is Ryo-kun?” he suddenly asks. Satoshi and Sho exchange a glance. “No seriously, tell me. He is just in this because of me.”  
  
“This is not your fault,” Satoshi says, like he knows he will blame himself.  
  
“Someone please fill me in,” Nino sits up, his heart racing in panic. The others seem to immediately catch his discomfort because Sho is at his side immediately, forcing him to lie back down.  
  
“He is still in intensive care,” he explains hastily, biting down on his lips.  
  
“They got him so bad?” Nino asks in horror. “But he is the better fighter, and…” his voice trails off when he realizes that Satoshi and Sho exchange a glance, AGAIN!  
  
It’s Masaki this time that finally shows some common sense and fills him in. “That was bad too, but what made him break down are his lungs. Apparently he was sick as a child once.”  
  
“What?” Nino blinks.  
  
“We didn’t know either,” Sho explains. “Seems like he and his family come from a very poor background. He is an orphan, and as a kid he needed a kidney transplant. On top of that it seems like he had a tuberculosis as a child. It got treated, but he was diagnosed pretty late, which is why his lungs remained weak.”  
  
“He didn’t tell anyone though,” Satoshi explains. “His sister told us. She is here too. They have all the same chronical kidney-disease. Hers didn’t break out. Ryo got a surgery. But their little brother didn’t make it.”  
  
 _YOLO_. Nino thinks. You only live once. It’s what Ryo tells them all the time with this dorky smile of his. He is right.  
  
“She also said that Ryo told her these guys already harassed you once because they saw the both of you with Sho.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Nino says quietly. “I wished I had known.”  
  
“It’s not your fault,” Sho says with emphasis. “You couldn’t have known. I’m just glad you made it out alive and with all your limbs attached to your body.” He turns around. “Could you leave us alone for a moment?”  
  
Satoshi blinks but nods. “Sure, come Masaki. Let’s go to Shingo and Jun and tell them that Nino is awake. And then let’s see if we get some news from Yui-chan. She is still talking to the doctors about her brother.”  
  
“I hope Ryo will be alright,” Masaki says quietly.  
  
“I’m sure he will,” Satoshi says with a firm nod. “He has a strong mind.”  
  
When the door closes behind them Sho turns back to look at Nino, pulling a chair to his bed so that he could sit down there. He takes Nino’s hand into his and it feels weirdly comfortable to feel his warm fingers around his hand. “I wish you would have let me finish my sentence back then,” he says.  
  
Nino sighs slightly. “I guess I wasn’t ready to face the truth,” he says. “I know in your eyes I’m a little kid, probably looking like a 14-year old.”  
  
Sho chuckles. “At first you did. Now I don’t even know why I thought that way. You have a youthful look, but you definitely don’t look like a child anymore.  The way you talk, dress and behave is not childlike.”  
  
“But?” Nino asks carefully, hope swelling in his chest. He shouldn’t feel that way though. Just because Sho eyes him as an adult it doesn’t need to mean anything.  
  
“But we drank too much yesterday night and I didn’t want you to regret anything,” Sho points out. “You are young and I am not, and you have many options in terms of a partner. I wanted you to be sure of what you want. I’m hell of a difficult person, you know that already. I have to work on my relationship with my family and with the people around me. I have problems voicing my feelings. I cannot promise you much at the moment because I am who I am.”  
  
“Wait a moment,” Nino sits up a bit, wincing at the pain. Does that mean Sho does want to start something, albeit wanting to take it slow and let it progress step by step?  
  
“I also don’t like drama much,” Sho points out. “So, if there is a problem, you are better off telling me directly and not throwing a tantrum.”  
  
Nino laughs. “You are the middle-brother of Jun-kun and Takuya-san,” he says. “And they are predestined for drama!”  
  
“Exactly why I don’t need it in the other part of my private life,” Sho points out. “Listen, you are young and it might happen that you change your mind about your choices, about me. And I don’t want that to happen. I want you to focus on your life and study, and once you have settled in your life and know exactly what you want, then…” His voice trails off but Nino understands him anyway.  
  
Nino lies back in his bed, eyeing the ceiling. What now? Sho told him in his own way that he would like to give them a chance but not immediately and not forced. He can live with that. Of course he is impatient and just wants to lie in Sho’s arm and be mushy and cuddly like Masaki and Jun, but on the other side, he isn’t quite that kind of person. Whenever he sees Jun and Masaki holding hands and pine for each other, he isn’t sure if he should find it cute or throw up. He hates mushy. He likes to have his privacy, play his games, have his alone time too. In a way he probably will fit Sho pretty well. “Are we going for lunch next week?”  
  
Sho blinks, looking dumbfounded for a moment. “Sorry?”  
  
“You have been getting on my nerves about this steak restaurant,” Nino says dryly. “Just so you know by the way. There is a catch to me too. I’m easily getting irritated when someone is too clingy and I’m straight-forward. I hate mushy stuff, so if you ever invite me to a romantic dinner, at least use Mario-candles.”  
  
“Who is Mario?” Sho asks.  
  
Nino smirks. “See, you need to catch up with my hobbies,” he points out mercilessly. “While I figure out my life as you said, you better figure it out too. I mean my life, not yours. I’ll give you a list of things I like.”  
  
Sho still looks confused, then however he chuckles. “I’ll message you the restaurant,” he says casually. “I’ve gotten so used to you giving me advice. Probably can’t do without.”  
  
Nino’s heart makes a tentative happy jump. That’s a good sign. Sho eyeing him as someone he can take serious, someone whom he takes advice from is probably the hugest step forward he can take.  
  
~~~  
  
Jun already waves at them before they reach the waiting room. By his cheerful expression Satoshi’s feels a stone drop from his shoulders. “He is alright?”  
  
“Alright enough,” Jun says with a smile. “They apparently pumped the blood out of his lungs and he is steady again. Supposed to take it slow though.”  
  
His sister Yui appears right behind him, bowing slightly towards Satoshi. “Thank you for everything. If it wasn’t for your friend Sho-san and the first aid you did, he wouldn’t have made it.”  
  
Shingo has remained silent, then however he looks at Satoshi directly. “Why don’t you go and talk to him?” he says. “If he is in the right state of mind and health of course.”  
  
“It’s Ryo we are talking about,” Yui says with a sigh. “He is probably about to jump up and do some music. He has never been someone who would rest properly.”  
  
“See, this is a good moment” Shingo urges, but keeps it a secret what he thinks is a good moment. Satoshi knows the glance he is showing him though and what it means - Shingo has probably understood a lot more than he said before. Go and see him, is what his glance tells him, and whatever it is, get it off your chest.  
  
“If it’s okay for you,” Satoshi asks Yui.  
  
She just smiles brightly. The sunshine smile. All of them have it. Ryo has it. Yui has it. And… Satoshi sighs, Shingo is right, he should finally face the truth and the past.  
  
When he enters Ryo’s room, said young man is sitting in his bed, arguing with one of the nurses about how he really feels well enough to walk around although there are little tubes attached to him. Satoshi chuckles. “I’ll take over,” he tells the visibly relieved nurse. Poor woman. Has to face this brat and Nino at the same day.  
  
Ryo smiles brightly at him. If it wasn’t for their surroundings and the machines he is attached to, it would seem like nothing is off. Satoshi isn’t quite sure what to say, but Ryo beats him to it. He points at the bag, leaning against the wall. “I asked Yui-chan to bring this along,” he says. “Give it to me please.”  
  
Satoshi nods, taking the bag to hand it to Ryo, and a chair to sit down on. He should probably ask how Ryo feels, but he takes a wild guess that questions like these aren’t important for Ryo right now. Ryo opens the bag, revealing a box. “Satoshi-san,” he starts. “There is no need for you to feel guilty for what happened. You aren’t responsible for my little brother’s death. No one is. He was sick, more so than myself. I know you think you are responsible for it, but you aren’t.”  
  
Satoshi takes the box Ryo hands him. “I left him alone,” he says with tears in his eyes. “I knew he would die. I knew there was no chance for him. He needed a friend, and I was his friend, still I was too weak to be there when his life was over. I couldn’t even go to the funeral.”  
  
“He never held a grudge against you,” Ryo tells him. “Never. In fact he felt really thankful that you were at his side for this short amount of time. You were a kid yourself, and to be honest, even most adults ran from the truth back then. He didn’t see it like you betrayed him or left him alone. He never thought that way.”  
  
“But I do,” Satoshi says quietly. “Up to now, I feel so guilty.”  
  
“You know from the kids that joined this school projects back then,” Ryo says all of a sudden. “You were the only one holding up to its end.”  
  
Satoshi looks up in surprise. “What?”  
  
Ryo chuckles. “No one managed to stand so long. You however remained at Shin-chan’s side almost to the end.”  
  
“Shin-chan? So that’s his name?”  
  
“Yes, Shinichi.” Ryo smiles. “Take the box with you. It is yours. I promised him that when I meet you again, I would give it to you.”  
  
Satoshi looks up in surprise. “You promised…” he pauses. “Is it really a coincidence that we met?”  
  
Ryo looks away for a moment, letting out a sigh. “You donate each year.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“You told me yourself, but I knew it beforehand. Someone donated a huge sum to the hospital we stayed at each year.” He pauses. “We have no supporters, so I had a feeling it was Shin-chan’s lost friend. Then I kind of flirted with some nurses, got your name and the rest is history…”  
  
“You applied for the job because you knew Sho and I are friends?” Satoshi asks in surprise. “You could have just come out and talked to me!”  
  
“Could I?” Ryo frowns. “I wasn’t sure if you really remembered or if you wanted to remember. I didn’t know anything about the young teenager that helped my brother through his darkest times.”  
  
Makes sense. Ryo probably wanted to check him out first. “And Masaki? You befriended him.”  
  
“That was a coincidence,” Ryo’s smile falters slightly. “I didn’t know he was your brother until I saw you two together. Fate’s funny sometimes. I hope he won’t be mad and think that I took advantage of him.”  
  
Satoshi chuckles. “I highly doubt he would think that way.”  
  
“He really likes stray cats,” Ryo says quietly. “In the end I’m also just one of the stray cats.”  
  
Satoshi stays quiet for a while, his gaze shifting down to the box. He opens it carefully, wondering if he should do it when he is alone, but he figures he can do it with little-Shin’s brother around. There are pictures in there, photographs, crafts, a letter. All dedicated to him. He tears up the instant he sees it. “I want to help you,” he says.  
  
“Wow, where did that come from now?” Ryo laughs. “Yui and I don’t need help. The apartment was help enough. I didn’t give you this box so that you would feel guilty.”  
  
“I still want to help you,” Satoshi urges, realizing himself that this is truly what he wants. He couldn’t be there for Shin when he died, but he can be there for his family.  
  
“Satoshi-san,” Ryo says earnestly now. “You are exasperating me. I told you, you don’t need to feel guilty. When you didn’t visit Shin anymore, I reassured him that you still care for him and that he shouldn’t worry. _You can also keep a good friend in your heart_ , that’s why he made all this stuff in the box for you.”  
  
“I know, and I understand,” Satoshi says. “Still, I want to do something. Shin was really important for me and for many of my decisions. I didn’t know he had family. Had I known, I would have looked for you and watched over you years ago. I want to do it now. Your physical condition isn’t the strongest, you should cut your hours at Sho’s work place and concentrate on your music.”  
  
“I’m not good enough to live off my music,” Ryo argues.  
  
“Masaki thinks you are.”  
  
“Masaki thinks everyone is great!” Ryo intervenes.  
  
“Yes, maybe. Still all of his friends _are_ great. It’s true that he is looking for stray cats, but all of his cats are unique if you want to say it like that. Listen…” Satoshi takes a deep breath. “I don’t want you or Yui-san to lose your independence or anything. Working for Sho is good for you future, because let’s face it, it’s a stable job, but let me help you to focus on your music. I know an artist when I see one, so believe me. What kind of music do you like?”  
  
“Rock,” Ryo says quietly. “But not the loud one. The more silent, deep rock. I like to write my own lyrics and compose my own songs. I don’t like those pointless happy songs. And I like focusing on the guitar as my sole instrument.”  
  
“Fine, then do it like that. I’ll talk to Sho.”  
  
Ryo lets out a sigh. “You are really persistent, aren’t you?”  
  
Satoshi smirks. “My whole family is. You have no idea how persistent we are.”  
  
He can’t explain though how persistent they are because the doctor comes in and shoos him out of the room. Ryo needs rest. Once outside he sees Sho and Jun. Much to his surprise he sees Takuya too all of a sudden. He hasn’t expected him here because he is supposed to work. Satoshi halts in his movements, not sure what to do. It seems like a private moment between the brothers, and he feels like he shouldn’t disturb it.  He feels bad for hiding and listening, though it’s just an accident and he didn’t mean to. Takuya and Sho exchange a glance then Takuya hands Jun an envelope. “This is for you,” he says quietly. “Sho and I found it last week, and there is no time for us to wait any longer. We don’t want to hide it from you. We wanted to give it to you when you are at home, but there seems to be no right moment. There is always someone interrupting us.”  
  
Sho licks his lips nervously. “It’s from our father.”  
  
“And addressed to me?” Jun asks in surprise.  
  
“Seems like he hid things from you,” Sho mumbles. “Possessions of your mother”  
  
Jun looks appalled first but somehow he doesn’t really look surprised. It’s like he expected his father to have done shady things. He just throws a glance into the envelop, growing pale but not looking all that surprised. “Thank you,” he mumbles. “For giving it to me.”  
  
Satoshi can’t help but wonder what happened that suddenly so many old wounds were opened. Whatever these threes' old wounds were, he is sure they encountered something that makes them remember. Just like it happened with himself through his meetings with Yui and Ryo.  
  
  
~~~  
  
Jun looks so good. So freaking good. It’s hanami festival, and of course Masaki set a date to go out with Jun. They wanted to be polite first and invite the others too but all their friends politely declined. Nino says he is going out with a friend, whoever that friend is. Ryo, Kame and Kazama said they wanted a no-couple-invited evening. No lovebirds allowed. And Shun and Kiko were both on a date, not with each other of course.  
  
Leaves him with Jun alone, which to be honest is perfect. They meet often but they don’t have that many official dates. And today is one of these official dates. They are both dressed in a kimono, because tradition, and Masaki wonders if Jun has ever looked hotter. Damn, he looks so hot, he wants to push him against the tree they are having their picnic at and take him. Or have Jun take him. Or…whatever, just someone do something!  
  
“Should we try one of these?” Jun asks all of a sudden and points at some of the attractions. There is a swing carousel, and stands where one could win something, stands with food and…  
  
“I’d love to,” Masaki says immediately, deciding he should stop daydreaming and enjoy every moment he has with Jun. This is their first real date after all. “No one’s watching by the way,” he says carefully. “Before we go, can I have a kiss?”  
  
Jun chuckles and instead of answering bends forward to kiss him softly.  
  
The rest of the evening they spend with doing all kinds of couple things. First Jun tries to catch a fish and looks so cool while doing it. He gives it Masaki afterwards. Then Masaki tries to shoot one of the fluffy bears for Jun. He needs twenty tries, and only wins one of the plush doggies, but Jun looks so happy about it. Then they eat tons of food from the stands, including apples in sugar gloss and cotton candy. And of course they drive with one of the boats over the lake, run through the horror house – both of them scared to death – and then take a ride with the swing carousel. They even sing karaoke.  
  
It’s a ten out of ten dating wise. Not that Masaki has any comparison because all he had up to now was random sex without any dates, but he is sure he and Jun would hit a full score anyways.  
  
Jun looks up at the sky now and he looks so out of this world that Masaki’s heart clenches for a moment, like he will disappear all of a sudden and never come back. For a moment he remembers the envelope Takuya gave Jun in the hospital. He saw it coincidentally when he wanted to look for Satoshi, but he hasn’t dared to ask Jun about it, fearing he would go too much into his privacy if he did so. “It’s going to rain,” Jun says all of a sudden.  
  
Masaki wants to laugh at that because it’s been a warm and starry night, when a sudden thunder can be heard. He looks up at the sky too, seeing how it’s covered with dark clouds. He grabs Jun’s hand. “Come,” he calls out. “Let’s go to your place.”  
  
Jun chuckles, and they both start running, not minding when the first teardrops come down on them. They keep running all the way, laughing like idiots when the rain gets more and basically washes down on them. Sometimes they stop and kiss because in this weather no one could make them out anyways, and Masaki feels happy he can hold Jun’s hand all the way.  
  
They are panting and giggling when they reach Jun’s house. Sho opens the door for them. He has been out too, something about a musical, and apparently came home an hour ago. He wears a ridiculous yellow apron now. “Are you trying to find your inner housewife,” Jun teases. “You are not going to set the kitchen on fire, are you?”  
  
Sho smacks him playfully and pretends to threaten them with the spoon in his hand. “You,” he scolds. “I’m just nice enough to make you some hot soup. Talking about,” he looks all strict all of a sudden. “If you two aren’t in the bath to warm up within the next hour, I’ll get really uncomfortable! Have you been in the rain all the time?”  
  
Apparently Jun decides it’s better not to answer too specifically to the last question. Sho would probably scold them more if they told him they actually walked and run the whole way back through the rain. “We’ll go and take a bath immediately,” Jun says, and apparently Sho is pretty pleased with his nice behaviour.  
  
“I’ll put dry clothes out for you,” he says.  
  
Much to Masaki’s surprise Jun leads him to the bathroom in the fourth floor. “I didn’t know you have that many,” Masaki says.  
  
Jun chuckles. “There is one in each floor and two in the second and third, so that we all have our own. But this one is special.”  
  
Masaki understands the moment Jun opens the door to it and lets him inside first. First of all, it’s not part of the fourth floor anymore but rather leads to a separated area that’s built right into the hill behind their house, and only connects to the fourth floor. Second, it’s not a bathroom, it’s a bath. Traditional, like he would expect it in an onsen. The ceiling is out of glass so that they can see the night sky, and the water is damping hot. It even leads outside. “This is a swimming pool,” Masaki breaths out.  
  
“It’s not,” Jun chuckles. “It’s a traditional bath. My family has one since years.”  
  
“I can’t believe you are only showing me this now,” Masaki exclaims and gets rid of his clothes immediately. Jun blushes slightly. Oops, he forgot. Jun told him once he has never kissed someone before, and…well… he assumes he has never seen someone naked too. Masaki decides not to make a huge thing out of it so that they won’t get more embarrassed. It seems to help because when he gets into the water, Jun seems to be relaxed all of a sudden and follows him swiftly. Masaki tries not to stare, but damn, Jun has a nice body. He is pretty toned, probably because he goes jogging regularly, he has a rather small waist and long pretty legs. Masaki is sure he hasn’t seen anyone that beautiful before, and he has had quite a share of hot guys in his bed, but Jun is different.  
  
“You are staring,” Jun points out teasingly.  
  
Masaki laughs. “Obviously. Because you are freaking hot.”  
  
“You are just blinded,” Jun says, but comes closer. The water swaps around them when Jun wraps his arms around Masaki’s neck. Masaki answers immediately, wrapping his own arms around Jun’s waist and pulling him closer against his body. Feeling his warm, wet body against his feels so fulfilling. He has never thought that this evening would lead him to holding Jun in his arms, naked and pretty willing to make out with him.  
  
“Jun,” he mumbles softly, kissing Jun’s neck. “I’m not blinded. You are wonderful.”  
  
“ _You_ are wonderful,” Jun returns and kisses his shoulder.  
  
Masaki lets his hands slide down Jun’s back, tentatively feeling the soft skin beneath his fingers, wanting to cherish it all. He strokes Jun’s hips and chest before surging forward to kiss him heatedly. It’s not like the soft kisses they shared many times before. It’s like he breaks a spell because their kiss gets suddenly more demanding and heated, and his own movements get bolder. He presses Jun against the edge of the bath, his hand moving between his legs, when he suddenly feels it underneath his hand on Jun’s chest. Jun’s heart is beating like crazy, his fingers around Masaki’s neck basically digging into the flesh.  
  
Masaki’s senses are back immediately, he moves away from Jun, noting the terrified expression in Jun’s eyes. “Jun, I’m sorry, I-“  
  
“I’m so sorry,” Jun blurts out all of a sudden, his voice vibrating in embarrassment and fear. He looks so broken all of a sudden that Masaki just wants to hug him. “I don’t… I mean, it’s so long ago. It doesn’t matter anymore. I love you, and… Why does it still matter?”  
  
It suddenly dawns on Masaki. It finally makes sense. “Jun,” he says softly. So that’s why, he thinks, this whole detached attitude. The whole serious mask was probably just to protect himself.  “It’s not your fault. I went too fast. We don’t need to do anything. Don’t apologize.”  
  
“But I want you,” Jun says quietly. “It shouldn’t matter anymore.”  
  
Masaki takes his hand. “It always matters,” he says earnestly. “Who did it to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, some answers, right? And at least we have tiny solution for Nino and Sho. And we know Satoshi's background now and what happened when he was a teenager.  
> Now it will be Jun's and Masaki's turns...


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiba now knows what happened to Jun... What will he do now? He suddenly realizes he can only make Jun open up to him, if he will open up to Jun too.

“You know, I’m thinking about getting a dog,” Shingo muses.  
  
“Hm,” Takuya makes, not even looking up from his coffee and his newspaper.  
  
Shingo frowns. “You aren’t listening, are you?”  
  
Much to his surprise Takuya just chuckles. “You have been talking about getting a dog since weeks now. If you want one so badly, why won’t you get one?”  
  
“Because…” Shino blushes. “I… well… I’m not sure about the future.”  
  
“The future?” Takuya blinks.  
  
“You know… I mean, what if…” Shingo tilts his head, not sure how to continue. Bluntly said he is afraid Takuya is going to throw his piece of cake against his head and his cup of coffee if he says the following. Hence he decides to sugar-coat the issue that lies on his mind. “Do you like dogs?”  
  
Takuya looks at him in confusion. Gladly he doesn’t throw his cake at Shingo yet. “If I like dogs? Yes, I do.”  
  
“So, you aren’t allergic to them either?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“And, why don’t you have one?” Shingo continues.  
  
“I’ve never thought of it,” Takuya admits. “But Jun was still at school a year ago, and my main responsibility was to look after him and Sho. But now…”  
  
“But now?” Shingo asks curiously.  
  
“Sho manages his life well. And Jun…” Takuya frowns. “He did quite well the last months. He isn’t as serious and stoic anymore. However two weeks ago Sho and I found this letter in our father’s old possessions. And, well, I already told you he hid all of the memories of Jun’s mother.”  
  
“Yes,” Shingo says quietly. “Evil. How is Jun dealing with it?”  
  
“I’m not sure. He didn’t seem to be really surprised that our father hid his mother’s personal possessions. But sometimes there is something really sad and heavy in his eyes, and I don’t know what it is.”  
  
“I hope he can get over it,” Shingo says, thinking about Masaki for a while. It was a few days ago when Masaki came home, looking worried, but refused to talk to him. He wonders if he had a fight with Jun, but Masaki is no one to actually hold up a fight. They would have made up already if they fought. “Masaki is acting weird too recently.”  
  
“Sometimes I want to ask what’s going,” Takuya admits. “But then I’m afraid of it. I’m scared Jun will close up completely if I ask too many questions. Pretty pathetic, huh?”  
  
“If you are pathetic, what about me?” Shingo snorts. “I don’t dare to ask Masaki too many questions either.”  
  
Takuya looks at him for a long while, eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Why don’t you get this dog you are talking about? For real now?”  
  
Shingo blushes, surprised that Takuya picked up the topic again and didn’t forget his weird questions. “I only want to get a dog if you are okay with it,” he finally admits honestly.  
  
Much to his surprise Takuya doesn’t throw anything at his head, but instead looks at Shingo for a long while. “I don’t like small dogs,” he just states.  
  
Shingo’s heart makes a little tentative jump. “So, a bigger dog!” he states happily.   
  
His heart fills with resolve all of a sudden. Why is he even scared of talking with his little brother about his problems? He should just approach Masaki and see what’s bothering him, just like he always does it. He nods to himself. “I’ll try not to be scared of Masaki’s reactions anymore,” he says non-chalantly.  
  
Takuya seems to be surprised by the sudden change of topic, but then he nods. “I’ll try to gain Jun’s trust too,” he says, smiling when Shingo nods firmly at his words.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Masaki is scared to say the least. Jun hasn’t told him anything that night and he hasn’t talked much to him in general for the last days. He is scared that Jun is going to go back into his shell after Masaki realized what it is that bothers him. And the worst part is that he can’t talk to anyone about this, he can’t just go and ask for advice. His heart clenches when he thinks of Jun and of what happened to him, and the look in his eyes when Masaki touched him. Masaki knows it's not his fault and he shouldn't feel bad, but for triggering these memories inside of Jun he feels bad. How can someone even force himself on another person? Poor Jun, no surprise he was avoiding any social contact and didn’t open up to other people.  
  
“What’s wrong with you, loverboy,” Shingo teases when he meets Masaki in the kitchen around lunch. “Had a fight with your pretty boyfriend.” He winks but when he looks at Masaki directly, he gets all seriously. “What happened?” he asks, not joking anymore.  
  
Masaki sighs into his coffee. “I can’t tell you. I wish I could, but I can’t.”  
  
“Hm,” Shingo makes and sits down on the other side of the little bar they have in their kitchen. “It’s about Jun-kun, I assume. And his family.”  
  
Masaki looks up in surprise. “What do you know?”  
  
“I can’t tell you,” Shingo points out. “I have my connections too, but the stories might not be the same for each of them. Besides, it’s for you to find out, it won’t help you if I tell you what Takuya told me.”  
  
“He told you something?” Masaki asks in surprise. Does this mean he can make Jun open up to him too? When Shingo nods, he is up his feet immediately. “Okay, I can’t let him slip beneath my fingers. He has just opened up to me, I don’t want him to close himself up again. I-“ I don’t want to lose him.  
  
“Masaki,” Shingo says softly. “This kid loves you. You already made him change so much. Don’t let him run away from you now, don’t be scared. If you won’t do anything he might run for real, but if you find your courage again, as you always do, you will be able to make him open up.”  
  
Masaki nods tentatively. “I won’t lose him without fighting for him,” he says after a while.  
  
“You won’t lose him,” Shingo says warmly. “He needs you. More than anyone else. He just can’t deal with his feelings. He is not Takuya. Takuya is a grown-up, he has learned to face things differently. Jun still needs to learn it. And he needs you to help him with it.”  
  
Masaki’s heart suddenly beats in a more steady rhythm again. Yes, Shingo is right. He was acting like an idiot. He should have gotten on Jun’s nerves right the next day. Something in his ears rings, and suddenly he remembers something Satoshi told him a while ago. Making someone open up to you, means opening up to this person too.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
Jun doesn’t know how long he has been looking down at the envelop in his hands. He has opened it, read it, read all the documents, he went to the bank and got all of his mother’s belongings. Within all the stuff there was a letter addressed to him, from his mother. He couldn’t bring himself to read it yet. He is just so freaking weak.  
  
He thought he could just let himself fall into Masaki’s arms and forget everything, forget how awfully filthy he feels.  
  
“Hey, little brother,” Takuya smiles when he sits down at the kitchen table as well. He has brought two pieces of cake along, lactose-free, offering one of them to Jun. Jun hides the letter in his pocket and politely accepts the cake, but has no intention at all to eat it. He is not hungry. “What’s wrong? You look down.”  
  
“I’m alright,” Jun lies.  
  
“Still the old story,” Takuya says. “You are pretty easy to look through, you know? It’s obvious something is bothering you.”  
  
Jun feels a twinge in his chest, a feeling he has a lot lately. It’s like he always lies but can’t do anything about it. Like, what is he supposed to say to his brothers? What if they find out? They will probably hate him for what happened, because why shouldn’t they? Their relationship just got better, he doesn’t want to destroy it again by letting them find out what happened.  
  
“Now you are looking even more bothered,” Takuya says all of a sudden, reaching out his hand to touch Jun’s arm. Jun is about to pull his hand away in a reflex, but manages to calm his nerves down. “I don’t know what demons are bothering you,” Takuya says. “But don’t let them destroy you. If you let them destroy you, you will let them win.”  
  
Jun looks up in surprise. “What… I mean, yes, but…”  
  
“Sho and I don’t talk much about it, but our father used to beat us up. I don’t know how it was with Sho, but I for one spent quite some time in hospital. No one would ever do something against him though, because he was rich and had a name.” Takuya rubs over his head. “You know, Shingo is persistent,” he says, much to Jun’s surprise shifting the topic now. “He is not letting go, although I tell him to. I’ve explained it to him that I don’t want to be in a steady relationship because I’m afraid I might just turn into my father. It’s statistically proven that kids from abusive parents either end up in abusive relationships themselves or become abusive.”  
  
“You are not like that asshole!” Jun suddenly blurts out, because seriously how can Takuya even compare himself to their father. “What are you even thinking!? You are nothing alike!”  
  
Takuya chuckles. “Now that you defended me, couldn’t you also defend yourself?”  
  
Jun blinks. “I…what?”  
  
“Let’s say I or Sho were in your shoes, would you think of us the same way as you do now of yourself?”  
  
Jun shakes his head, his stomach clenching slightly. He would never think low of his brothers or those he loves, especially for something that’s not their fault. He swallows, suddenly realizing where Takuya was going with his talk. He doesn’t even know what it is bothering him, but still he managed to make him change his point of view for a moment. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”  
  
“You are,” Takuya urges. “Try to learn not to be dependable of others when it’s about your self-worth. You need to start liking the person looking back at you in the mirror.”  
  
“How do you know,” Jun asks in a blank voice. “That I don’t like myself much.”  
  
“Why do you think I know it?” Takuya asks back.  
  
Yes, Jun thinks, of course. It runs in the family, it seems. “I don’t know how to face it,” he says, “I don’t know how to face Masaki. He will want to know the truth, because… well… something happened to make him see part of it. And I can’t even tell you or Sho, how should I even tell him? How can I forget? I just want to erase it.”  
  
“It’s natural that you want to erase it,” Takuya says softly. “But you can’t. Sho and I have recently realized that we made a mistake with burying our past and never facing it. It’s a part of you, you can hate it and be mad at it, but don’t try to bury it, because you’ll only end up burying yourself then.” Jun feels tears prickling in his eyes. Takuya reaches out his hand to brush over his hair. “You are wonderful,” he says. “Don’t push Masaki away just because you are scared. He doesn’t deserve that, does he?”  
  
Jun shakes his head. “He doesn’t deserve it,” he says quietly, his heart clenching at how he pushed Masaki away during the last day. He was nothing but kind and understanding when the incident happened in the bath. He didn’t deserve to be shoved aside.  
  
Jun thinks of the envelope in his pocket. The letter he hasn’t read yet. He needs to do some thinking, fast, and then try to face the past just like Takuya told him to.  
  
He spends the next hours thinking, but it’s only the next day at his class when he sits in front of an exam and doesn’t even write a word down that he finally has an idea. He smiles slightly when he thinks of it. It’s not running away – just because he leaves it doesn’t mean he is running away, right? He gets up without even handing in his paper and leaves the room, ready to set preparations. His eyes widen though when he sees who is waiting for him in front of his classroom. “Masaki-kun?”  
  
Masaki takes a step closer. He should be mad, Jun thinks, but he is only looking at him through these warm brown eyes of his that speak more than words can. “I let you down,” Jun admits quietly. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“No, I let you down! I didn’t want to get on your nerves,” Masaki admits. “I should have dropped by at your place the next day already.” He takes another step forward, taking Jun’s arm and pulling him away from campus. They don’t talk, and it’s only at a quiet corner in the park that Masaki let’s go. He turns to look at Jun insistently.  “Don’t do anything funny without me.”  
  
Jun’s eyes go wide. “What?”  
  
“You are planning to do something,” Masaki says. “I know it. When you suddenly wrote me yesterday and apologized for being dramatic, I knew you were up to something. Don’t do it without me!”  
  
“Masaki,” Jun says softly. “I don’t want to drag you into my problems. I want to solve my shit, and once I did, I promise I’ll come and-“  
  
“My father had an affair,” Masaki interrupts him.  
  
Jun blinks in surprise. “What?”  
  
“I’m the child from that affair. My mother didn’t want me, but  my father convinced her to get me, then he took me in. The woman that raised me, Shingo’s and Satoshi’s mother, hated me. She is the one that always told me that I’m worth nothing, that without my father’s money I’m just nothing, that I’m stupid, and…” His voice trails off, and Jun is honestly shocked at that revelation. “Don’t do anything without me,” Masaki begs.  
  
Jun understands, finally, that Masaki isn’t judging him, never did and never would. Just like he would never judge Masaki. And that Masaki  needs him just like Jun needs Masaki. They need each other. “Tomorrow,” Jun says and smiles in surprise when Masaki hugs him. “6AM. I’ll message you the details.”  
  
Masaki nods, relief for not being pushed away written all over his face and Jun knows it was the right decision to involve him. He presses a kiss against Jun’s temples. “I love you, Jun. I’ll be there.”  
  
Jun smiles agains his neck. "I love you too, Masaki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, a lot actually happened, didn't it? And we finally know something about Masaki! He wanted Jun to trust him so badly that he shoved his own insecurites aside and just directly told him what happened to him.  
> At this point I need to tell you guys, that of course, yes, I'll go into more detail of what happened. I don't want to leave it in the dark (I won't write anything too graphic, don't worry!) but they will talk eventually and reveal what happened to them, and for that I figured I should voice a trigger-warning to all the readers of this story. Just to be safe! As I said, I won't get too graphic and I won't even use flashbacks or anything, but Masaki and Jun will both get the chance to reveal their past.
> 
> Takuya and Shingo are really lovely older brothers, aren't they? I'm so proud of Takuya for having changed so much :D
> 
> Now Masaki and Jun seem to plan something?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will Jun and Masaki do now?

“I know, we decided to support the lovebirds,” Shingo says through the phone and Takuya can almost see his teasing grin in front of him. “And you and Sho-kun’s new-found all-understanding my-brother-is-so-cute-kyaaaaaaaa mode is really refreshing-”  
  
“Come to the point,” Takuya interrupts him dryly.  
  
“Just tell Masaki to come home at one point,” Shingo says with a chuckle. “I assume he has lost track of time but we need his help tomorrow for-“  
  
“Masaki is not here,” Takuya interrupts him, not even listening to his rambling anymore. “I thought he and Jun are at your place.”  
  
Shingo is quiet for a moment, then he laughs. It doesn’t sound too convinced though. “Come on, why would they make something up? I’m sure they are in Jun’s room or…”  
  
“Shingo,” Takuya says earnestly, turning around to wave at Sho, signalling him to come closer. “They are not here.” He puts the phone aside for a moment. “Did you see Masaki and Jun?” he asks.  
  
Sho blinks. “Aren’t they at Ryo’s place?”  
  
Takuya turns his attention to the phone again. “Did you  hear that?” His heart is suddenly racing. He knows he should remain calm, it’s just logical that it’s a misunderstanding, but he has a feeling it isn’t. Jun might be slightly dramatic sometimes, but he is also really considerate. He would never let such a misunderstanding and confusion happen.  
  
“Yes,” Shingo says, sounding strained all of a sudden. “Satoshi just told me, Masaki said to him he and Jun would be at Kame’s place.”  
  
Takuya is speechless for a moment. It’s the perfect distraction strategy from these two. They will now have to phone all their friends while not knowing anything at all. And he is sure their friends won’t know anything either. Still, they just have to try it and call them. It’s common sense to do it that way. Jun and Masaki probably knew that. And while they call all their close friends they'll lose quite some time. On the contrary Jun and Masaki will win time... Just what for?  
  
He hangs up.  
  
“What the hell is going on?” Sho asks immediately, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  
  
“Jun and Masaki are nowhere to be found and told everyone a different place they are staying at.”  
  
Sho’s eyes widen. “I’ll call Nino!” he offers. “Someone has to know where they are!”  
  
No, Takuya thinks, he is sure no one knows where they are.  
  
  
~~~  
  
They meet at Takuya’s and Sho’s house because it’s bigger and in the end they hope to find something here that will give them a clue.  
  
“Since when are they missing?” Satoshi asks. “For real now. It was in the middle of the night when we noticed that they are absent, but since when are they actually missing?”  
  
Just as Takuya predicted none of them was able to reach the guys, Jun’s phone was switched off, and it seems Masaki has left his switched off at home. Just like that. There was no note, nothing, and no one of their friends saw them. “Kame says, Jun wasn’t in his class today,” Nino suddenly points out. “Shun-san told me the same when I called. He was very worried. Jun never misses a class.”  
  
“When is his class normally?” Takuya wants to know.  
  
“Pretty early. It seems like around 9AM.”  
  
Sho stays quiet throughout their talk. He feels sick all of a sudden. What if something serious happened to them? What if they are in danger? His younger little brother, all alone...  
  
“Did something happen?” Satoshi finally dares to ask. “Did you guys and Jun have a fight?” When Takuya and Sho glare at him for implying that they did their little brother wrong again, Satoshi raises his hands in defence. “I don’t mean anything bad, really, but Masaki is absolutely not dramatic normally. Running away is nothing he would do.”  
  
“It’s nothing Jun would do either,” Takuya points out sharply. He is right, Sho thinks. If Jun had wanted to run away, he would have done so long ago and not after they finally took a step towards each other and got along. Everything was working out well between them. Why would Jun suddenly disappear just like that?  
  
“I’m just asking,” Satoshi repeats carefully. “I mean, I know I didn’t have any argument with Masaki. What about you Shingo?”  
  
Shingo stays quiet for a while, making Satoshi’s eyes go wide. “You did?”  
  
“No!” Shingo shakes his head vehemently. “I was just thinking about a talk I had with him around two days ago…”  
  
“What kind of talk?” Nino wants to know.  
  
“He was bothered by something. It had something to do with Jun, but he said he couldn’t tell me. It was impossible to talk about it, it seems. And I just remembered the things Takuya-kun told me, which I can’t tell anyone either.” He looks at Takuya. “Sorry for mentioning something like this now.” But Takuya just shakes his head, smiling slightly, and Shingo continues. “So, I tried to give him some advice, the best I could do without knowing anything.”  
  
“I kind of had a similar talk with Jun,” Takuya slowly admits. “Not an argument at all. But damn, he looked down, like really down. I have never seen him like that. I knew it had to be something major, but I knew asking him what it is wouldn’t help and wouldn’t make him open up. So, I told him about Shingo-kun and how we handle things we can’t just talk about normally. I told him several things, and tried to make him face the past, whatever it is, and look forward again. Stuff like that…”  
  
“So maybe they are?” Nino says all of a sudden. “Maybe both of them took your advices to heart and decided to do something about it?”  
  
“They just left us,” Sho mumbles miserably, finally allowing his fear to show.  
  
“No, they didn’t,” Nino huffs. “Jun loves you guys, and Masaki loves his family too.”  
  
Sho looks at him through questioning eyes. “Then why did they go?”  
  
“Maybe because they had to,” Nino points out  
  
Shingo blinks. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Maybe they had to do it. We might not be able to understand it, but maybe this is the only solution they saw to face whatever they need to face,” Nino muses.  
  
“I wished we could call the police,” Sho mumbles, his heart clenching slightly at the thought of his innocent cute helpless little brother strolling around in the middle of nowhere.  
  
“Good thing you can’t,” Nino points out carefully.  
  
Takuya frowns. “Maybe you are right,” he says all of a sudden. “When Jun and I talked he suddenly got a lot more resolute. Maybe this is something they had to do.”  
  
“But what are _we_ supposed to do now,” Satoshi asks. “I can’t just sit here, knowing Masaki could just be anywhere.”  
  
“It’s our fault,” Takuya says all of a sudden. “Mine and Sho's. Ever since we gave him his inheritance from his mother he was different. In the letter our father left he begged his wife for forgiveness. We shouldn’t have handed Jun everything just like that.”  
  
Sho nods, Takuya is right.  
  
“Of course you should have!” Shingo blurts out. “It’s not your fault. Your father hid all this stuff from Jun on purpose, probably because he didn’t want him to think of his mother or to have any connection to her. He was just a pathetic jerk.”  
  
“Still…” Takuya says quietly, but his voice trails off.  
  
“Is something missing?” Satoshi asks all of a sudden.  
  
They all look up at this question, and it dawns on Sho that they haven’t even checked on what these two took along or _if_ they took something along. Unbelievable, they are so useless as older brothers. “I’m looking at Jun’s room,” he offers, mainly to do something.  
  
“I’ll help,” Nino says.  
  
Takuya and Shingo decide to roam the other part of the house, while Satoshi will check at his and Shingo's own place. He has asked Kazama and Ryo for help.  
  
“He is alright,” Nino says when the door closes behind them and they are alone in Jun’s room. Everything is so tidy, Jun’s always so tidy. Even before he left he apparently cleaned up. There is basically nothing lying around, just the envelope they handed him before is lying on Jun's table. The key is gone though, apparently Jun picked his mother’s belongings up from the bank.  
  
“It’s our fault,” Sho says with tears burning in his eyes. “Takuya is right. We weren’t thinking. We just handed Jun the key and the documents we found at our father’s old office, and didn’t think that for him it would be like a step into the past.”  
  
“It’s not your fault,” Nino urges. “You wanted to be honest with him. You didn’t want to lie. And you were right, you needed to give him his mother’s inheritance! There was no way to keep it away from Jun.”  
  
“Maybe we should have talked with him about it,” Sho says, his heart clenching slightly when he wonders what kind of things Jun dealt with on his own.  
  
“About what!?” Nino huffs. “It’s obvious Jun didn’t want to talk about whatever he felt. He is not ready! And he deserved to know the truth and to receive his mother’s belongings. There was no such a thing as a right timing for it.”  
  
Sho sighs, turning around to look at Nino directly. He really has a pair of the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. They look at him so honestly now, so much caring and understanding in them. “Do you really think so?”  
  
Nino nods. “You think about your family all the time, Jun would never do something to hurt you. He loves you guys.”  
  
Sho nods and suddenly can’t resist the urge to wrap his arms around Nino’s body and pull him closer. He feels so warm. “Thank you,” he mumbles against his hair.  
  
He can feel Nino smile against his chest.  
  
“Maybe we should try and find something?” Sho says after a while and only reluctantly lets go of Nino’s warm body. But finding Jun and Masaki just has priority for now.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
“What else do you know?” Ryo is on the phone, breathlessly talking to Kame.  
  
Satoshi and the others have just returned to Takuya’s and Sho’s place again, and noted that two backpacks are missing, some food, and probably some smaller stuff. Seems like Masaki took Satoshi’s navigation system with him.  
  
“What does he want to do with that?” Satoshi muses. “It’s for lakes and alike.”  
  
“They are not planning on crossing the ocean, are they?” Sho asks, sudden panic rising in him again.  
  
“Please,” Shingo grumbles, slowly losing his good mood as it seems. “Don’t be so overdramatic, you are freaking us out.”  
  
Sho pouts slightly. “I’m just worried.”  
  
“We all are,” Satoshi intervenes before they can start arguing. What does Masaki want with his navigation system though? It’s for whenever he goes fishing, nothing special. For him to find his way through a few forests to some lakes. What else is there about it?  
  
Ryo still talks on the phone, coughing lightly. “Don’t get into hyperventilating now,” Satoshi points out when he realizes his obvious excitement.  
  
Ryo ignores him and his advice, as always, and closes the phone, looking at them through huge eyes. “They took the train.”  
  
“What?” Takuya asks in surprise.  
  
“Seems like someone who is also in Kame’s and Jun’s class was running late, and he passed Jun and a tall guy with auburn hair – I guess we know who that is. They were at the station. Not the big one, not for the shinkansen. It’s a suburban one. I think even a local line.”  
  
“Did he see where they wanted to go?” Shingo asks, his head perking up.  
  
“No, unfortunately not, he was worried about being too late and just wondered why he saw Jun there.” Ryo lets out a sigh. “Sorry.”  
  
“Don’t be,” Takuya says all of a sudden. “It means they didn’t go too far into the country. That’s a good sign.” He turns around. “Satoshi-kun, try to find the description for that navigation system of yours. We might need to find out what else it can be used for.”  
  
Satoshi nods too, finally a small step forward. He turns to look at Nino. The latter has been surprisingly quiet. “Is everything alright?”  
  
“I just wondered,” Nino says all of a sudden, blushing slightly when everyone turns to look at him. He is holding a card in his hands. A post-card to be more specific. “What’s this?”  
  
“A post-card,” Satoshi explains dumbfounded.  
  
“No? Really?” Nino mimics him, rolling his eyes.  
  
“Why are you asking though?” Sho asks curiously.  
  
“It’s just… it was at Jun’s desk, right underneath the huge envelope you guys gave him.”  
  
“The one with our father’s last words?” Takuya asks.  
  
“Yes. There were a bunch of cards there.” Nino turns the card slightly, eyeing its cover. “There is nothing written on them though” He turns it around and also takes some more of them from the table where they gathered all possible hints. “But they are all from the same place. Isn't that weird? Do you know this place?”  
  
Takuya takes a step closer, taking a few of the cards into his hand. “These are not postcards. They are photos.” His eyes widen. He turns to Sho. “This is…”  
  
“Yes,” Sho says quietly. “What do they want to do there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Jun and Masaki indeed left without a word. But it seems Nino found a clue and Takuya and Sho knew where they went to? I'm sorry for the lack of Junba here, we'll soon have their side to this part of the story too. I promise!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where are Masaki and Jun?

Jun talks to the young nun at the counter for quite a while. For a few minutes the young woman looks confused then she goes and when she comes back an older one is accompanying her. The older nun listens to Jun, looks at the photography in his hand, then her eyes widen. A sudden smile spreads on her lips and she comes forward to hug Jun.  
  
Jun waves at him. “Come, Masaki-kun,” he says with a smile. “We can stay here.”  
  
Masaki nods meekly, feeling completely intimidated by the many women, dressed in black and white. “How come you know so many nuns,” he whispers. “Are you catholic?”  
  
Jun laughs. “No,” he says. “But I spent a very short time of my life here.”  
  
“Really?” Masaki blinks. Jun hasn’t told him yet why he chose this place here. He just explained to him what he wanted to do here, and that it’s a place he connects with his mother. “Your mother was here, right?”  
  
“Yes, when she fled from my father,” Jun admits. “She came here, pretty much at the end of her strength. There is a psychiatric clinic, a sanatorium, attached to this convent,” he continues. “And she got treated there, and would sleep here. They were always very kind to us. Probably they knew she was on the run.” He smiles. “There is a bath here, a huge one. It’s a sanatorium too here, people from all places visit this village to relax and free their minds from their problems,” he tells Masaki. “The nun I was talking to, the older one, was the one that befriended my mother.” He shows Masaki one of the photos he took along, revealing a couple shot of a young woman, looking like Jun, and a younger version of said nun. “I’m thankful that at least at this place here my mother was able to have some peace.”  
  
Masaki lets Jun talk, only listening and nodding, and sometimes he secretly takes his hand. There is nothing much to say anyway, and by the way Jun looks at him thankfully, he knows he is doing it right. “When you don’t want to hear it,” Jun says quietly. “Tell me.”  
  
“Shut up,” Masaki grumbles. “I want to hear it. I want to hear everything you want to tell me.”  
  
“What if it gets too much for you? And you will want to run?”  
  
“I won’t.” Masaki says death-seriously. Jun seems to believe him because there is sudden relief sparkling in his eyes. He is at the end of his story for today anyway, probably he doesn’t want to talk about it all at once. Hence Masaki takes a deep breath. His turn it seems. “My mother, or the woman I called like that, would never hit me, you know? She wouldn’t directly abuse me, but she would do other things.”  
  
Jun puts their bags into their room and takes two towels out of the wardrobe. “Like what?” he asks with concern in his voice.  
  
“She would tell me daily how useless I am, how I am nothing, how I’m just a bastard. I didn’t even understand half of the things she said. I could never tell anyone,” Masaki mumbles. “Because she loved Shingo and Satoshi so much and was so kind to them. How could I… I mean…”  
  
“I know,” Jun says quietly and takes Masaki’s hand. “I know.” He squeezes it encouragingly, and Masaki nods. Of course Jun understands.  
  
“You know, I had a little cat once. A kitten. My father gave it to me as a present. She killed it.”  
  
Jun looks at him in sincere horror. It seems like he wants to say something, probably something angry against his mother, but he seems to hold it back and Masaki is eternally thankful for that. “How could she do that?” Jun says with a hoarse voice. “I mean, it’s not your fault that your mother gave birth to you and your father took you in. Killing an innocent creature on top of that.”  
  
“She was losing it,” Masaki says.  
  
Jun shakes his head. “Don’t defend her,” he says. “Stop defending her. If you continue to make excuse for her, it’ll ruin you. You can say it openly how horrible she was.”  
  
Masaki blinks in surprise at these words, swallowing nervously. “She was horrible,” he admits all of a sudden. “The worst. I wished I would have been alone at that time, I would have rather lived on the street than with this woman.” Jun nods encouragingly. “I hated her,” Masaki admits quietly, feeling weirdly relieved for being allowed to show his emotions so openly, to say what he feels. He has kept it bottled inside him for so long. To be able to talk to it, to have someone to talk to, it makes him feel almost free. “I still hate her.”  
  
“You like stray cats,” Jun says all of a sudden.  
  
Masaki nods meekly. He hasn’t noticed himself how it was his mother’s mental and emotional abuse and her killing his pet that made him look for human versions of stray cats. “I grew up like this,” he finally says. “No one ever wanted me,” he admits tiredly.  
  
Jun turns around, a frown gracing his pretty face. His fingers grab Masaki’s face to make him look at him. “Satoshi-kun and Shingo-kun want you!” he says with emphasis. “They love you and everything you are. Nino wants you, and Kazama-kun and Kame-kun. Even Ryo-kun wants you. And I want you too. I probably want you the most.”  
  
Masaki smiles slightly, squeezing Jun’s hands. “Yes, I know that, but sometimes it’s difficult to believe it. I’ll repeat it as often as necessary for me to finally believe it.”  
  
The bath is warm, and it looks stunning. It’s nothing Masaki had expected. It’s huge, in a separated area, out of beautiful marble. The ground of it is out of stones, so that it won’t be too slippery. It’s like someone brought nature’s beauty into this place. They lock the bath carefully so that no one can surprise them and then suddenly Jun is in Masaki’s arms. Masaki moves his nose softly over Jun’s cheek and neck, barely touching him. He smells so nice. He wonders if he has ever actually felt so close to another person. If he has ever wanted someone so much. He smiles. The answer is no, he has never felt that close to someone. With Jun he knows he can be honest, he can tell him everything that lies on his mind, he can talk to him about his past – and Jun won’t judge him. Just like Jun can talk to him, anytime, and he won’t judge him either. He can’t believe how lucky he is to have found someone like him. And to his utmost surprise Jun seems to love and admire him too, ready to open up – just for him. He knows Jun would have never let anyone else get that close to him.  
  
“Are you sure?” Masaki asks, pulling Jun’s naked body closer to himself. He feels so warm.  
  
“Never been so sure about something in my entire life,” Jun replies.  
  
“If you feel better we could change positions,” Masaki offers. “I don’t mind.”  
  
“I do,” Jun says. “I need you to be the one doing it, I want to feel you inside me.” He blushes at his own words, and Masaki feels tears burning in his eyes. He wonders if he is even worth Jun’s trust. “Just don’t get cheesy now,” Jun teases. “Think about our cool image! We can’t burst into tears like cry-babies all the time.”  
  
Masaki laughs. It feels weird to laugh after all the things they told each other and after all the things they haven’t talked about yet, but for a moment it feels like they are in a different world, in their world. And there is nothing standing between them. Masaki assumes that there really isn’t much standing between them anymore, but it for sure won’t always be that easy. For now however it is.  
  
  
~~~  
  
“Where the hell is this place?” Nino asks in horror. “There is literally nothing here! Do people really come here?”  
  
Shingo sighs slightly, turning to Takuya. “You know, I understand why we are going to this place with Sho-kun and Satoshi, they are our brothers, but why is it again that these young dudes-“ he points at Nino and Ryo. “-are coming too?”  
  
“Nino-kun is the reason we even know where these two are,” Sho jumps to Nino’s defence immediately. “Besides he is like Masaki’s brother!”  
  
“Ryo-kun needs it for his lungs,” Satoshi huffs at his brother.  
  
Sho secretly rolls his eyes. Satoshi is obsessed with Ryo and his family. He calls him almost every day to ask if he isn’t overworking Ryo and that he should send him home in time. Sho doesn’t know how often he said the words _Shut up, Satoshi-kun. He is perfectly well!_ And how often Ryo grumpily told him to back off. But apparently Satoshi developed some sort of fatherly complex towards Ryo. He just wonders if at one point he will realize that Ryo is pretty hot… And then…  nope, better not think about it.  
  
Shingo throws a glance at Takuya, but the latter just shrugs. “I told you, you are better off not questioning it.”  
  
“So,” Nino interrupts them. “Anyone going to tell me where and what this place here is?”  
  
“There is a convent and a psychiatric hospital there,” Sho explains. He exchanges a glance with Takuya, ignoring the way the others look at them in surprise.  
  
“Jun’s mother lived there for a very short while, apparently together with Jun. It was right before she killed herself,” Takuya says.  
  
“Father told us that she was going crazy and she was basically ruining Jun too, and how he was only in such a horrible mental state back then because of her,” Sho mumbles. “I’m sure he lied about it.”  
  
“Yes,” Takuya agrees. “She probably just wanted to know her child safe. I heard that the nuns hid them for a while actually. But of course he found them.”  
  
“So, he and Masaki went to this place to actually connect with an old memory,” Shingo says all of a sudden.  
  
“I guess,” Takuya answers quietly.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
“It’s never going to be that perfect again,” Jun says, almost sounding sad. “I wish we could stay here forever.”  
  
“You don’t want to stay here forever. You love your brothers and your studies, and your life in the city,” Masaki says softly and turns around in their bed to hover over Jun a bit, his thumb brushing over Jun’s cheek. Jun pulls him into a kiss. Holding Jun in his arms felt like a dream come true. To his surprise it was easier than expected. He was scared first that Jun would freak out, that having sex with Masaki will remind him of his bad experiences, but apparently Jun’s faith in him is unshakeable. Jun had focused on his eyes all the time, nothing seemed to have clouded his vision while Masaki carefully made love to him, all the time whispering soft and encouraging words of love. It’s like they broke a curse.  
  
“Yes, maybe you are right,” Jun mumbles against his lips, his tongue teasingly licking over Masaki’s bottom lip.  
  
“It indeed is beautiful here though. We can always return,” Masaki promises softly.  
  
Jun nods, curling up and leaning against Masaki, smiling when Masaki plays with some strands of his hair. “This was wonderful,” he chuckles.  
  
“What?” Masaki teases. “Having sex with me?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Now Masaki blushes. “I hope I didn’t force anything on you.”  
  
Jun huffs. “Don’t dare to ruin this moment for me or I’m going to kick you out of this bed and you can sleep on the floor for the rest of your life.”  
  
Masaki chuckles. “Sorry,” he says. “What I wanted to say is: That I found it wonderful too and can’t wait to repeat it a thousand times, but I’m scared of doing something you’ll hate and of pressuring you and not reading any signs and-“  
  
“Masaki,” Jun says earnestly. “You cannot force me into having sex with you because I _want_ to have sex with you. In our bath at home it happened too fast and I panicked, and I knew you didn’t know what’s going on, as I was desperately trying to hide this part of my past. And well… today it was different.”  
  
“Promise me you’ll tell me whenever I jump you and you don’t want to, okay?” Masaki snuggles closer, nuzzling his nose into Jun’s hair. “It’s important for me to know that you’ll also watch out for this.”  
  
“I promise,” Jun says, snuggling an arm around Masaki’s neck and brushing through his hair with his fingers. It feels comfortable and warm, and weirdly enough for Masaki it seems that Jun has never been that calm before. It’s a hint of the guy he is probably going to become once he leaves all his issues behind.  
  
For a few hours they are lying next to each other, half-asleep and half-awake, sometimes kissing and touching but mostly just hugging each other. When the clock turns close to 5AM Jun pushes himself up with a deep sigh, and Masaki follows.  
  
“Ready?” Masaki asks, just as determined as Jun to proceed with their original plan.  
   
Jun smiles. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very Junba focused chapter, but I guess you know why.  
> So, Masaki told Jun his story. And he and Jun finally got intimate with each other. But what will these two do now?


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Masaki and Jun finally proceed with their plan. The others are slowly catching up.

_To my beloved little baby, Jun,_  
  
  
“Did you bring your mother’s letter?” Masaki asks.  
  
Jun nods, his grip tightening around the paper. “I did.”  
  
“Ready to start reading it?”  
  
“No,” Jun answers honestly. “But it doesn’t matter because I know, I’ll never be ready. So, I can just do it now.”  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
“There are more of you?” the young nun asks in surprise when Takuya tells her their names and why they are here.  
  
Sho’s head perks up immediately. Does this mean… He is at Takuya’s side immediately, shoving him aside. “Is my brother here?” he asks breathlessly, eyes wide in fear.  
  
The young woman looks at them for a while before bowing slightly. “Wait here, please,” she says before she leaves.  
  
Sho’s heart is basically racing. He hopes she will go and look for Jun and Masaki, but to his disappointment, she just comes back together with an older nun. The old woman looks at them in surprise. “You are his brothers?” she asks sceptically.  
  
“So, Jun’s here,” Takuya says, and there is so much open relief on his face that the woman’s eyes light up.  
  
“You don’t have evil intentions, it seems,” she says. “You have to forgive me, but the last time a man came to look for one of them, Jun-chan’s mother killed herself.”  
  
“Can we see him?” Sho asks hastily, basically pushing Takuya aside again. He doesn’t care if he looks pathetic or not, he just wants to know that these two idiots are safe. Right next behind him he can see how Shingo and Satoshi are also pushing to get closer to the two women and to get more information.  
  
“I’m sorry,” the woman looks seriously apologetic. “They left this morning.”  
  
Sho’s face basically falls, as does Shingo’s. Takuya and Satoshi keep it together a little better. “And we are at the beginning again,” Takuya says, obviously trying to sound optimistic. “But maybe we can find out where they went and where to look at next.”  
  
“Oh.” The nun blinks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t articulate myself properly, it seems. The two young men didn’t leave the city. They are just not here right now.”  
  
“What!?” Shingo exclaims in relief. “Where are they then?”  
  
The nun points out of the window. “There,” she says.  
  
Sho follows her finger that points directly at an incredibly huge mountain and… he feels like snorting in amusement. Yes, right, Jun is definitely not the nature type of person. Like he would climb a mountain. “Jun-chan and his friend left to climb the mountain,” she explains to Sho’s horror. “The people here believe it’s a holy place.”  
  
“They…what…” Nino asks in disbelief. “They came here to go on a mountain? How long does it even take?”  
  
“To reach the top, one day,” she explains. “And to come back another day.”  
  
“We need to go after them,” Sho says, immediate resolution filling him. Like he is going to let his innocent helpless little brother climb a freaking mountain for two freaking days! Not to imagine how scared Masaki and Jun probably are.  
  
“No, you don’t,” the nun intervenes firmly and shakes her head. “You’ll wait here for them. It’s a pilgrimage route and we never disturb people that seek for something.”  
  
Takuya looks at her in confusion. “I apologize, but we don’t quite understand.”  
  
The nun smiles patiently. “These two didn’t come her to run away. They came here to face something, the both of them.”  
  
“Masaki too?” Shingo asks, sounding unusually nervous all of a sudden.  
  
“Yes, I always recognize them. People that are desperate and got hurt badly, but are determined to change something. Most of the people here either come to climb the mountain. Or they will visit the hospital to get direct treatment. Your brothers are here to walk on their path to whatever they are looking for, to whatever they want to fight.” She points at the mountain again. “People go up there to be able to face themselves. These two left most of their stuff behind. Just took the most necessary things to climb the mountain.”  
  
“Why didn’t they say something?” Satoshi finally asks quietly. “If this is why they came here, no one of us would have stopped them. There is nothing against trying to find peace and to, I don’t know, do what they need to do.”  
  
Takuya looks at her questioningly. “People here normally tell no one that they are here, am I right?”  
  
“Most of them don’t,” she explains.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because their families and beloved will ask questions, and it’s not about explaining things to others, it’s about accepting them yourselves.”  
  
“We would have been in their way,” Takuya states quietly, before he nods. “We’ll wait here. Can we stay here for a night?”  
  
She smiles brightly. “For as many nights as you want.”  
  
“But…” Sho stutters.  
  
“Sho-chan,” Takuya says softly. “Jun needs to do this for himself. He’ll come back.”  
  
“What if he goes up there to jump down from the top?” Sho asks, his voice shivering slightly.  
  
“Yes,” Shingo agrees. “What if they went there to face their problems, but in the end come to the solution to…” he pauses. “To…”  
  
“They won’t,” Takuya urges. “They are not here to kill themselves, they are here to find a way to live happily and into a bright future. You need to trust them. They need to be able to do this, and we need to give them the chance to do this. Let’s not ruin this for them. Because if we do, stop them, we might ruin them and their future.”  
  
Satoshi smiles. “Yes,” he agrees. “I think so too. They came here, stayed a night all casual, they didn’t leave us a note, but they also didn’t clean up every of their steps. It didn’t matter for them what we would find. They aren’t on the run. People on the run are different.”  
  
Sho bites down on his lips. He knows he isn’t the only one worried here, he just wants to run after these two and find his little brother and know him safe, but he also knows that if he did that, Jun would probably not be able to forgive him for it and to actually get over whatever happened. “Is there something to do here?” he asks carefully.  
  
The nun smiles brightly. “We have a bath. A meditation centre. Oh, and there are lots of paths to walk and stroll around in nature. There also is a huge library for those who want to enjoy the calmness.”  
  
“Great,” Nino sighs slightly.  
  
“I’ll be going to the library,” Takuya says much to Sho’s surprise. “Spend a day reading is something I haven’t done in many years.”  
  
“I want to go outside,” Ryo says.  
  
“Meditation for me,” Satoshi muses.  
  
“Bath,” Shingo says with a yawn.  
  
“I want to visit the hospital,” Sho points out. “See the people there and maybe collect some memories about Jun’s mother. She was a kind woman. I always liked her.”  
  
“Seriously?” Nino asks in surprise. “All of you find something fun to do here?”  
  
Sho has to chuckle slightly at Nino’s obvious shock.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
_In my life, you are my only pride. You are everything I’ve ever longed for and my biggest achievement. You were my light._  
  
  
Jun and Masaki look at Satoshi’s navigation system before Jun chuckles slightly. “How about we just follow the signs?”  
  
Masaki smiles and put the navigation system aside. “Good idea.”  
  
For a while they walk next to each other without talking. Actually none of them is really used to climbing a mountain, but this here is different. The scenery is amazing, the fresh air, everything is silent, he left his phone at home and Jun his at the convent. “Are you going to tell them?” Masaki finally asks.  
  
“Who? What?”  
  
“Your brothers,” Masaki says but doesn’t specify what he means.  
  
Jun understands of course. “I don’t want to hurt them,” he says quietly. “Previously I thought they might get mad at me or hate me for what happened, but by now I know they wouldn’t. But they would be hurt.” He pauses. “What about you? Are you going to tell them?”  
  
“Same answer.”  
  
_I’ve not achieved much in my life and did many mistakes, but you are the only good I was able to make. You are kind and warm, and caring, blessed by a good heart and a strong mind._  
  
  
“I think in a weird twisted way my mother thought she would protect me when she died. Like my father would forget to be possessive over her and forget about me. But he didn’t. He found us here, and when she died he basically possessed me. When he drank too much, he would sometimes… come to me,”  Jun continues to explain, and Masaki listens, trying not to make any angry sounds, knowing it would only be contra productive. Jun doesn’t want pity, he just wants someone to listen and accept him. “I’m looking like my mother,” Jun explains.  
  
Masaki’s eyes widen in horror. “He…”  
  
“He was really drunk on that evening, and he called her name when he came to me,” Jun says lightly, like he is actually telling some sort of sweet and harmless story.  
  
Masaki isn’t sure how to answer to that, because what the hell can he say? He figures he doesn’t need to say anything though and instead grab Jun’s hand.  
  
_No matter what happens or what the future brings, I hope for you to remain this sweet person. I wish for you to achieve all your dreams, to find someone you can love to the fullest, and no matter what happens I want you to remain the person you are. Always honest to yourself, with your beautiful open heart._  
  
“You know,” Masaki points out when he finds himself drowning in sweat from all the walking. It basically took forever to reach the top. “Next time let’s rent a boat and find ourselves in the ocean!”  
  
“Satoshi-kun would kill us,” Jun points out with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around Masaki’s waist from behind.  
  
“I think Sho-san would rather kill us,” Masaki dares to intervene. “First he, then Satoshi will kill us a second time.”  
  
Jun grins and tightens his grip. His hair is sweaty, and little drops of sweat tickle Masaki’s neck. He giggles like crazy. “You idiot, stop using me as your towel.”  
  
“But you are such a nice towel,” Jun argues.  
  
  
_I want you to hold your brothers dear, because they love you and they are good people. No one can choose the family they are born into. The things that happened are not your fault, they never were. And no one who truly loves and respects you will ever say they are._  
  
  
“Do you think they’ll be mad?” Masaki wants to know. “I mean, they probably already realized we are not there anymore. Satoshi will be so pissed.”  
  
“Satoshi-san can be angry?” Jun asks in interest.  
  
“Majorly angry. I guess like Sho-san.”  
  
“Sho is harmless,” Jun says casually. “Takuya has the worse temper.”  
  
“You are kidding me!? He is always so polite,” Masaki argues.  
  
“Yes, but you better don’t piss him off,” Jun jokes light-heartedly. “We are all graced by this little weakness.”  
  
“Little?” Masaki sneers. Jun chuckles, and they sit down on a few stones, too tired to walk around and enjoy the view from the top of the mountain. “I wished I had a loving mother,” Masaki says after a while.  
  
“Masaki, she was sick, she was sick way before you came to her house,” Jun says softly. “Someone who isn’t sick wouldn’t treat a child like that.”  
  
“I ruined her marriage,” Masaki points out.  
  
“You ruined nothing,” Jun argues. “Someone like you can only heal people. Didn’t you heal Nino? And Kamenashi? And me? You are like sunshine that makes a flower blossom. I don’t know what would have happened if you never came into my life. I would still not be talking to my brothers, I would still live this miserable lonely life, I would probably never have let someone touch me like you did, I would have no one to kiss and hug. It’s all thanks to you.”  
  
Masaki clings to Jun’s neck. “Don’t say such things,” he mumbles. “You are going to make me cry.”  
  
  
_When I close my eyes I see you as a grown-up, as the person you’ll become. If you follow those that provide you with light in your life instead of lingering in the darkness like I did, you’ll be able to find your own happiness. You should be able to love and laugh, and fight, cry, make up. You should dream big and don’t be afraid to fail._  
  
  
“Come,” Jun says and tugs at Masaki’s hand. “You need to see that.”  
  
“What?” Masaki whines. “Jun, I’m sweaty and ugly and tired and I just want to go to the mountain hut now that we finally reached the top.”  
  
“We need to make a vow,” Jun says dryly. “Whenever you say you are ugly you’ll donate ten dollar. When we collect enough money we’ll travel to Hawaii.”  
  
“TEN Dollar!” Masaki huffs, and hurries after Jun. “Do you even know how much that is? We both know we’ll have the money within a year then.”  
  
Jun turns around, grinning when Masaki bumps into him. “So you admit that you have a problem?”  
  
“Yes, obviously,” Masaki says dryly. “I have you as a boyfriend.”  
  
Jun winks teasingly and ignores him, pulling him along to the edge of the mountain. Masaki is about to complain, when Jun points at the scenery in front of them, the whole land below them is covered by the sunset. A red, orange light, colouring everything in its brightness.  
  
“Wow,” Masaki says in shock. He feels tears burn in his eyes. “This is beautiful.”  
  
“Ready?” Jun asks.  
  
Masaki nods, and swiftly pulls out the diary he kept when he was a child with all those ugly memories inside. He has ripped the pages out of it and left the cover at home. Masaki looks at the pages. “I don’t want to think of my mother now,” he says. “Because I know I can’t forgive her. But I want to think of my father, who was a kind and gentle man. I’m eternally thankful to you, Dad, thanks for giving me a home, although no one else wanted me. Thanks for giving me a future.”  
  
They scrunch the paper and put it on one of the stones, putting the letter from Jun’s mother on top of it. Jun takes the lighter he secretly took from Takuya’s study and puts the paper on flames. He smiles slightly. “Bye mom, I love you. I’ll try to dream big and live my life to the fullest. May you rest in peace.”  
  


_And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,_  
---  
_So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,_  
_The smiles that win, the tints that glow,_  
_But tell of days in goodness spent,_  
_A mind at peace with all below,_  
_A heart whose love is innocent.*_  
  
 

_I will always love you, Jun._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this was draining. I hope I got the right feeling across, and I think I've answered all remaining questions (mainly about Jun) From now on Masaki and Jun can walk forward. (we still have on chapter to go of course ^^)
> 
> *This is a paragraph from the poem 'She walks in beauty' by Lord Byron


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Masaki return? How will their lives continue?

Jun waves while he approaches the convent. He feels messy and dirty from the long walk, but also surprisingly light-hearted. He already sees Takuya’s tall figure way before they even reach the huge building. He is only remotely surprised that they found them that fast. Of course they did.

 

Once they get closer he can see Sho waving at him like madly.

 

“They don’t really look like they are angry,” Masaki muses. “Interesting.”

 

“It’s because they understand,” Jun says. “I’m pretty sure some of them would have liked to climb a mountain themselves. Maybe they will too one day, climb their own mountain of fears and hidden secrets.”

 

“I have a smart boyfriend,” Masaki teases. “He is turning into a philosopher.”

 

“Very funny,” Jun grumbles, pretending to be annoyed. When he feels Masaki grabbing his hand and looking at him through those huge fearful eyes, he chuckles. “Just teasing you.”

 

Masaki raises his eyebrows. “I kind of want to make you pay for all your teasing.”

 

“Oh please do so,” Jun retorts with a smirk, his heart making a few careful anticipating jumps. “But later when we are alone.”

 

“I wonder if they’ll ever leave us alone again,” Masaki muses.

 

“Definitely not today,” Jun grins. Next to Takuya he can see a broad figure with blonde hair waving too.

 

“I’m a bit scared,” Masaki admits.

 

“From Shingo-san and Satoshi-kun?” Jun asks in surprise.

 

“No, not at all. I mean…” Masaki pauses for a moment, looking at Jun through nervous eyes. “When we are back and we’ll have our daily routine again, worrying about stuff like exams and classes, and… I don’t know, I’m scared that once we are away from here it will feel like we have a hangover, like it’s going to crush us again.”

 

Jun lets Masaki’s words sink in for a while, then he shakes his head. He is tired of constantly being scared and running away. “We won’t let it happen. We have each other, and these idiots down there. Let’s at least _try_ to become happy, although we might face some setbacks. We’ll help each other out. Let’s not be scared of going back home.”

 

Masaki smiles brightly. “Yes,” he agrees. “This sounds like a great plan. Hey Jun,” he looks at him shyly. “I love you, you know that, right?”

 

Jun returns his smile, blushing a bit. “I love you too.”

 

“Let’s go on a date next week,” Masaki says. “Ryo’s band is performing again. We can’t miss it.”

 

“Yes, let’s do that!” Jun agrees.

 

 

~~~

 

 

“I’m so sorry for worrying you,” Jun breathes out while Sho almost suffocates him with his hug.

 

“Let him breathe, Sho,” Takuya says dryly just to throw his arms around them and to squeeze them even tighter.

 

They mess around for a while before Sho finally lets go. “You _did_ worry us,” Sho says reproachfully. “Like really. Never do that again!”

 

“Yes, someone here thought you would leave the country on a boat,” Takuya says with a secret wink towards Jun. “He is right though, we were really worried. We didn’t even know what happened to you until we realized that you went to this place.”

 

Jun nods. “I’m really sorry,” he apologizes and sincerely means it. He hasn’t expected Takuya and Sho to be so understanding, though somehow he hoped they would. “I didn’t mean to put you through anything bad, really. I just, I don’t know, it felt like I didn’t have any other option. I swear I’m not going to leave like this again!”

 

Sho and Takuya exchange a glance before Takuya sighs. “You did it because you had to do it, right?” he asks, his brown eyes piercing Jun’s like he is searching for something. He seems to be content with what he finds because he smiles warmly.

 

“Yes, I think you can say it like that,” Jun says. “I didn’t mean to worry you though.”

 

“You didn’t think we would try to stop you, did you?” Sho asks in sudden worry.

 

“No, but I just knew if I told someone I would never do it. I would never come here. I needed to do it by myself and alone,” Jun admits.

 

“And did you find what you were looking for?” Takuya asks softly.

 

“I’m not sure,” Jun admits. “I got rid of a few things though. I think I can finally face everyone, including myself, better. You know, _someone_ told me I should learn to accept the person looking back at me in the mirror. I think I might be able to achieve that now.”

 

“Well, then,” Takuya smiles and wraps an arm around Jun’s shoulder and pulls him towards the staircase that leads them downstairs to the dining hall of the convent. “It was right and good what you did.”

 

“To be honest,” Sho says when they arrive downstairs at the dining hall. “I’m looking forward to going home.”

 

“Me too,” Jun admits and means it, much to his own surprise. “I’ll cook us something when we are back,” he promises.

 

“Yes!” Sho exclaims happily. Apparently it’s easy to make him forgive something once there is food involved.

 

 

~~~

 

 

“You two are going on a vacation?” Sho asks in surprise when Takuya tells him he and Shingo plan to take a few days off.

 

“Just for four days,” Takuya says calmly. “I trust you to keep everything together while I’m away and have an eye on Jun. Sometimes we still need to remind him not to get too engulfed in his studies. Be careful that he doesn’t overwork himself. He is such a perfectionist, wonder where he got that from.”

 

“Yeah,” Sho snorts and throws him a teasing glance. “I wonder too.”

 

Takuya rolls his eyes. “Very funny.”

 

“Where are you going to?” Sho asks all of a sudden.

 

“Well, we are going to…” Takuya pauses, cursing himself for not finding an excuse earlier. “…To an onsen, you know. Seems like Shingo knows someone who he can rent a small cottage from. We want to relax a bit. My mobile reception might be bad though, so if I won’t answer my phone, please don’t worry.”

 

“Of course, take a few days off from this loud mess here,” Sho nods understandingly. “Don’t think about work or anything alike. If you are not around Masaki will for sure drop by and stay for four days straight. They apparently think that when I’m having the supervision I won’t notice anything.”

 

Takuya chuckles. He doesn’t say that the young guys are probably right. Sho is not the best when it’s about reading other people’s – or rather his family’s – intentions and realizing that they trick him. He doesn’t say anything though. It’s okay, even when they will mess around while he is not home. So be it.

 

He and Shingo take Shingo’s car. He borrowed Satoshi’s navigation system from Jun, who swore to him to not tell anyone what he is planning. Once at their destination the sweet old nun is greeting them and handing them the keys to their room. They will spend one night here and then climb the mountain Masaki and Jun climbed, and then proceed and take the circular hiking route to the other mountain as they are staying a bit longer.

 

“You know,” Shingo says when they lie down to get some rest before they will start walking tomorrow. “Next time let’s grab Satoshi’s boat and try to find ourselves on the ocean. I feel I should have worked out before doing this here.”

 

Takuya laughs heartedly. “I told you, you don’t need to come.”

 

“Are you kidding!?” Shingo grumbles. “Like I’m going to let you do something like this alone!”

 

“I wouldn’t have minded,” Takuya says, before rephrasing his words as he feels it might sound heartless, and it’s not what he intended. “I mean, of course I like it when you come along, but I would never expect from you to follow me on this little journey, you know?”

 

Shingo stays quiet, then he looks at Takuya through unusual sad eyes. “Masaki told me that he knows he is just our half-brother.”

 

“Really?” Takuya blinks and turns to the side to look at Shingo as well. “I didn’t know you were half-brothers.”

 

“We thought Masaki didn’t know, so we never told him. To be honest it never mattered to us,” Shingo admits. “Now I realized he did know. He also said that our mother wasn’t very nice to him. Didn’t go into detail though. I wish he would tell me the entire truth.”

 

“It’s probably all he could say,” Takuya tells him softly.

 

“Did Jun tell you something?”

 

“Yes, a bit,” Takuya says.

 

“And what did he say?”

 

Takuya shakes his head, there is no way he feels even remotely ready to tell the glimpses Jun shared with him. He didn’t even tell Sho yet, because Sho as the middle brother was kind of lucky sometimes to be forgotten by their father. He knows they can’t hide it from him forever, but it’s Jun’s story and Jun’s right to tell whoever he wants to whenever he feels it’s right.

 

“It’s okay,” Shingo smiles. “Since I’m not going anywhere, you don’t need to tell me everything at once.”

 

“Say…” Takuya says after a while. “Why is your other brother, Satoshi, so obsessed with the Nishikido family?”

 

Shingo lets out a sound that is something between a huff, a sigh and a chuckle. “Don’t ask me. I’m still trying to understand. The kids now want to set him up with Ryo-chan. It’s going to be such a mess.”

 

Takuya chuckles. “To be honest, after the recent events I would prefer this kind of a mess over any other.”

 

Shingo smiles. “Can’t say anything against that,” he agrees.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Nino helps cutting vegetables. About an hour ago Jun wrote him a message to ask if he wants to drop by and hang out with him and Masaki. Once Nino was there, Jun used a cheap excuse to leave him alone with Sho.

 

Not that he minds though. Awesome friends are awesome.

 

“You really don’t mind?” Sho asks in worry. “I’m sorry Jun and Masaki have a sudden class and can’t join us.”

 

Jeez, Jun and Masaki aren’t even in one class together. “You really are easy in believing.”

 

“What?” Sho asks in surprise.

 

“Nothing,” Nino smiles. “It’s okay.”

 

Sho nods and wraps an arm around Nino’s waist, while angling for something in the cupboard. “Watch your head,” he says with a worried expression when he opens the doors.

 

“Yes, mummy,” Nino chuckles slightly. So cute, Sho can be so cute when he is acting like a worried mom.

 

“Don’t make fun of me,” Sho complains, but obviously can’t help the grin spreading on his lips. “You truly have me in your palm.”

 

“Really?” Nino says and turns around to lean against the sink. Sho closes the door – safety comes first it seems – then he puts his hands on Nino’s hips, pulling him closer. Nino knows it’s cliché and all, but he likes that Sho has broad shoulders and strong arms and the smells of aftershave. He just loves it. What he loves more though is when Sho bends forward, almost looking nervous. Hell, he is so cute, it’s unbelievable. Nino smiles brightly and wraps his arms around Sho’s neck to pull him down.

 

“You are my little brother’s friend,” Sho states.

 

“I hope this isn’t the only reason you have,” Nino comments dryly.

 

“I’m older than you are,” Sho says carefully.

 

“I know.”

 

“I’m in a different position in my life,” Sho continues carefully.

 

Nino nods. “I know there is a huge gap between us, but still, I think it’s something we can pass by.”

 

Sho smiles. “You are such a witty young guy. You are probably way ahead of me anyways.”

 

Nino chuckles. “What are our plans for later?” he asks innocently.

 

Sho smiles, his lips brushing over Nino’s neck. “I thought about having a romantic dinner and then go to the movies.”

 

“We could also stay here,” Nino offers. “And watch movies here.”

 

Sho pulls his eyebrows up. “What if Jun and Masaki come home?”

 

Nino smiles brightly, pulling Sho close enough so that their lips almost touch. “They won’t,” he says with emphasis. “They definitely won’t.” He grins happily while Sho pulls him even closer to his body, bending downwards to kiss him. He has waited for it for so long that his heart feels like it will jump out of his chest in happiness.

 

 

~~~

 

Jun has picked Masaki up earlier that day, wearing his glasses to not attract too much attention, unfortunately it backfired. “You are too obviously still you,” Masaki points out when he comes out from his class. “The instant the girls started to giggle about the hot teacher out there with glasses, I knew they meant you.”

 

Jun blushes. “I don’t look like a teacher! I’m even younger than you.”

 

“A hot teacher,” Masaki emphasises. Jun still feels like pouting. He doesn’t want to come off as so serious that people take him for a senpai at college or a tutor. Masaki tugs at his sleeve. “You do know they mean it as a compliment? Fancy Jun-sama walks through the corridor, kyaaaaaaa~”

 

“But… I don’t want to appeal to anyone,” Jun argues in annoyance. “Just to you.”

 

“Well, I personally find you very hot in your glasses,” Masaki admits. “But I find you hot in anything you wear, so I’m not sure if I’m a good judge.”

 

“I’m just…” Jun pauses, not sure why he is getting so worked up.

 

Masaki smiles warmly at him. “It won’t put a distance between us just because they fancy you, I promise,” he says, and Jun is surprised by how well Masaki already knows his fears. “And no one is dissing me for hanging out with you.”

 

“They find you approachable and cool,” Jun points out immediately. “Everyone wants to hang out with you!”

 

“Look who is suddenly all charming,” Masaki says, winking slightly.

 

Jun chuckles.

 

“Where are we going to?” Masaki wants to know.

 

“Not home,” Jun explains. “I wrote Nino he should meet with us there.”

 

Masaki looks at him in confusion. “And why aren’t we? Isn’t he coming?”

 

“Oh yes, he is,” Jun grins. “When he dropped by I told him I have a class with you.”

 

“And he didn’t mind?”

 

“Not at all,” Jun winks. “Sho.”

 

“Ah,” Masaki grins brightly. “AH! He is probably going to send you a gift parcel afterwards. But what about the both of us? I want to have some private time with you too?”

 

“Let’s go to Takuya’s place,” Jun offers. “He handed me the key to his apartment in town and asked me to water the flowers there.”

 

“Great!” Masaki exclaims happily. “Let’s go.”

 

On their way they buy some takeaway food from their favourite pizzeria and some snacks for later, then they head to Takuya’s fancy and beautiful apartment. He is hardly using it, but sometimes Jun assumes he meets Shingo there. Takuya is very private about this part of his life, and weirdly enough Shingo is too.

 

They settle down on the soft carpet in front of the TV, choosing one movie out of Takuya’s huge movie collection.

 

“Nino wrote me, we should definitely not come home tonight,” Masaki says all of a sudden when he checks his phone.

 

Jun chuckles. “Good for us,” he smirks, slipping closer and wrapping his arms around Masaki’s waist. “We should take good use of this apartment,” he says earnestly.

 

“Of course,” Masaki says with mock-seriousness. “Takuya-san asked you to water his plants, right? I think the plants need some watching over for the whole night.”

 

“Do we have our whereabouts covered?” Jun asks innocently, propping himself up on his elbow, his eyebrows raised teasingly when Masaki straddles his hips and brushes his shirt over his head, revealing his smooth skin and his beautifully broad shoulders. Jun reaches out his hands to touch his chest and the birthmark covering parts of his upper body.

 

“Hm,” Masaki hums. “I told Satoshi I’m staying at your place. Besides he is busy with Ryo-kun anyways. What about Sho?”

 

“Nino,” Jun points out and they both burst into a giggle fit.

 

“Well then,” Masaki bends down, his fingers touching Jun’s face to hold him in place when he kisses him. He is really hot when he gets down to business like that.

 

“You are so beautiful,” Jun says earnestly.

 

Masaki squeals. “You are so cute, and pretty, and oh my god, don’t say stuff like that when I’m on top of you. Makes me want to do all kinds of dirty things to you!”

 

“Please,” Jun teases innocently. “What are you waiting for?”

 

 

~~~

 

Jun passed all his exams, as always doing extraordinarily well. But he doesn’t freak out anymore when he doesn’t hit a full score. For Masaki it’s different though. He is not thinking about his score yet, first he needs to pass his end-year exams in general.

 

He doesn’t want to embarrass his family by failing, although he knows he is stupid for thinking like that, and they are proud of him for being able to catch up with everything over the last months. But still he wants to prove his worth to them. Sometimes it’s still there unfortunately, this urge inside him to show everyone that he is worth existing, that it wasn’t a mistake that his father talked his real mother out of an abortion.

 

He needs to succeed sometimes, to have the feeling he accomplished something, to be able to fight this feeling. He tells these thoughts Jun sometimes, and Jun listens, but also tells him that he won’t conquer anything by this approach. Of course he is right, and Masaki tries wholeheartedly to change his way of thinking. Just like Jun does it too. Sometimes Jun will crawl back into his shell and look at his mother’s inheritance – rings, photographs, memories – think of her and the other awful stuff that happened, and be sad. But they know how to drag each other out of their miseries.

 

Masaki tries to concentrate as well as he can. It’s an oral exam, covering the whole year, and a presentation. He knows he studied a lot and he knows he can do it. For Jun and his brothers, he thinks. Then he shakes his head, smiling slightly. And for himself. Mostly for himself.

 

When he comes out of the classroom where he had his exam, Jun is waiting for him impatiently. He is carrying two cups with mochaccino from Masaki’s favourite coffee shop, the one he still works at once a week. “How did it go?” he asks. “I was thinking of you all the time. Oh god, I was so nervous.”

 

Masaki smiles a tired smile and wipes the sweat from his forehead. “I passed. Not with the best grades, but I passed.”

 

“I KNEW IT!” Jun exclaims happily and almost spills the coffee when he hugs Masaki. He is so happy and so honestly cheerful that Masaki feels tears prickling in his eyes. He is so lucky to have someone at his side who has faith in him, who is there at his side, allows him to fail sometimes and is happy for him when he wins.

 

When they reach a private corner of the park, Masaki takes Jun’s hand. “I still don’t understand how you can put up with me,” Masaki muses. “I’m nothing special. And I’m not super-smart, not even super-good-looking. Unlike you. I’m just Masaki.”

 

Jun stays quiet for a long while, then he entwines his fingers with Masaki’s. “You taught me a lot,” he finally says quietly. “I’ve always walked on the path that was made for me, lived in my own little dark world and every day was worse than the one before. You showed me it’s okay to stray from my path. To question present decisions. To argue and speak my mind, and to not be afraid to voice my opinion. You taught me that self-worth and acceptance comes from myself first. Thanks to you I have learned that sometimes it’s also okay to cross the street when the light is red.”

 

Masaki feels his heart swell at these words. To imagine he was able to help someone he loved change that way, and change himself on the way too, is just too much to even believe it. He feels like tearing up again, then Jun however reaches out his hand and touches his cheek softly. “Don’t cry now or you are going to look awful on the group photo.”

 

“What kind of group photo?” Masaki asks in surprise. They were supposed to go on a short weekend trip to the sea with their friends. It took forever to find a date where everyone had time, including Kiko and Shun, and Ryo, who seems the busiest recently.

 

“They are throwing a surprise party for you,” Jun says casually. “Shingo-kun’s and Sho’s idea by the way. They invited everyone you know. I’m not supposed to tell you, so please act surprised. I just am afraid that once we reach Shingo’s apartment you will act on something dirty on your mind… before they jump out from their hidden spots.”

 

Masaki smiles brightly. “Busybodies,” he says, but can’t help but sound fond.

 

Jun smiles brightly. “Indeed.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's finished, finally! I might write a little epilogue later, but the main story is definitely finished. <3  
> It was a lot of fun to go on this ride tbh and to write this story. I hope you enjoyed this too! Please tell me what you think <3 As always comments are appreciated and loved <3

**Author's Note:**

> A new multi-chapter! YAY!!!! \^_^/ I hope you will like the setting of this. It's a mix out of college, high society, family and drama. And of course romance.  
> Masaki takes life pretty lightly at the moment, he doesn't mean anything bad though. He just wants to enjoy every moment. And Jun... we'll have a closer look on him soon.
> 
> Oh, and to diffuse some of the expected confusion concerning the cast: Both Jun and Masaki have two brothers. Masaki's oldest brother is Shingo (as in Katori Shingo), as I thought he would perfectly fit Masaki's sunny attitude. Satoshi is the middle brother.  
> As for Jun, we have Sho as the middle brother. Jun's oldest brother has not been revealed yet XD Any ideas?  
> We have Nino of course. And Kazama as Masaki's friends. There will be other guest appearances too.
> 
> I'm having lots of fun writing this! And it's been forever since I wrote rare pairs like Junba or Sakumiya, so I hope some people are interested? I'm still in the progress of writing, so I can't tell you where this might lead us to ;-)


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